I have always held back on my ace hole in one (very nasty) insults towards women who have burned me. Instead I just walk away. Too nice?

[Anonymous]

I’ve had women do shitty things to me and usually just cut them off and walk away. I usually don’t insult them on my way out even though I am usually itching to.

But in three different occasions I had very nasty insults (about real flaws in their lives) on the tip of my tongue. For example there is one woman I met through work. We connected a few weeks earlier before she lost her job. I asked her out on a date and was also looking to give her verbal support about her situation. She seemed really appreciative at the idea. But then she flaked out twice.

The first time she asked to reschedule and she let me know a few hours ahead of meeting time. No big deal. But the second time she flaked she texted me saying she couldn’t make it at 815PM and it was already 8PM (time we agreed to meet up). I already got dressed up and went out of my way to the meet up with her I was really pissed off and almost said “well it makes sense why you got fired now” but I held back and just stopped texting her.

I usually go lighter on women than I go on guys for irresponsible/flaky behavior (men don’t flake out on meeting up buddies anyway). Not sure why. Maybe it’s because I was raised to be nice to girls. Maybe it’s because if I just walk away some of them come crawling back (leaving me in a position of power). But I have never hit a girl where it hurts when I cut them off. And I wonder that maybe some women really DO need some harsh backlash for flaky behavior. They are way too shielded from hearing the ugly at times.

[coldmarch]

I think it's more convenient to keep doing what you do: walk away and don't insult. Because if you offend a woman she can potentially go crying and gossiping, badmouthing you around much more than what you expect, or much more than what you see, and you never know if they would be honest or would tell it in exaggerated ways, to the others.
Although this is more convenient I also think, on the other side, adult women (I assume from your age) should be able to hold minimum responsibilities and can't live like eternal young princesses, so it's just good and educative that they get the real effects of their actions and immaturity as well, at least sometimes.
I did this recently to a woman who set up an appointment for a very important thing with me that made me change plans for an entire week to schedule it (she knew it), then she ghosted me while I typed her 5 times in 2 days before the day. She did that because she didn't want to say "no", too much responsibility for her (she was over30), so I lost it and told her how disgusted I am of her immaturity at her age and also kind of embarassed for her because I had to "play" her game for those 2 days of ghosting by "pretending" she isn't so obvious in her childish methods but giving the chance "something very serious happened" to help her hide it even if it's cringe, but in the end she "forced" me at any cost to go for the conclusion she is a m***n, by not even apologizing. I hope next time she takes responsibilities she remembers the miserable figure she does if she doesn't care about canceling on time.
I did it because I was really disrespected and I thought that if someone is still like this past 30 it means it's some person who generally throws responsibilities/faults on others, because it's not possible that past 30 you don't get in contact with situations that require your responsibility or to say "no". You do, and if you still behave like a kid, it means you reject to mature your basic social skills on purpose, and nobody scolded you very much afterall, letting you get away with it every time. However, not my responsibility to "educate" this woman, and I expect she heavily badmouthed me with mutual acquaintances.
So in short I support the idea of making 30+ women face their basic responsibilities if they show embarassing lacks of it, but it won't be convenient for you.
As a side note, though, manage to not shift to the wrong side: check if it's you not being too triggerable for small things, or not good at getting obvious signals of rejection (indirect, but obvious if put together in a context), or if it's you setting up expectations without an active participation from the other side. These things can revert the faults 180°...
Mind also one thing: scolding someone can take off a lot of energies. If you're already exhausted by the anger, probably preparing a message with the knowledge of hurting someone will put you between the satisfaction of claiming your position, and the dread that you're going to face conflict and hurt someone. It requires energies so it depends also on your mood.

[Asker]

Good insight. Are you bisexual or was that a professional meetup? I noticed that bisexual women sometimes get first hand experience on their counterparts work. They have a special viewpoint at understanding male frustrations.

But if that was just a professional meet up then I understand the too can be frustrating.

Speaking of 30 the girl who did this above was 31. Definitely a Wendy. But sadly she’s not the only one I’ve encountered over the years abs she’s a mild example.

With that said you have to understand that as man I have a lot of both social and even legal restraints when it comes to speaking my mind towards a woman and putting her in her place. I’m considered “threatening” since I’m bigger and stronger (despite never hitting a woman in my life). Lots of men were trained young to tolerate more crap from women than vice versa. This stems from an odd toxic confusing combination of chivalry combined with modern feminism. We often get confused, frustrated and pissed off. But we are told that a “real man doesn’t lose his cool with women”. Well frankly there are certain times a man is very justified to lose his cool. That doesn’t mean being violent but speaking his mind. But societal norms do not ALLOW him to do that if we wants to be considered a “good guy”. Yes there are some instable assholes and hot heads out there. But what about the otherwise decent guy who got pushed to the brink? Why can’t he speak his mind if the situation calls for it? Again he’s not allowed to.

[coldmarch]

I'm not bisexual, the meeting we scheduled was about important things that have nothing to do with the social sphere, and that caused some mess, not just my "disappointment". But that doesn't matter, the cause is the same (inability to face possible conflicts and so inability to say "no", maybe some entitlement too).
I have these "organizational" problems (or communication problems) mostly with women, although I received that from some men too, but way less. However if you browse this website you'd see that the quantity of people being ghosted and trying to understand why are a lot, and are in quite equal quantity between males and females.
About women I have my theories: Why do I feel as though very few women are brutally honest these days? ↗
About reacting, you're not limited to 0 or 100, you can keep your cool but anyway reply to them. For example instead of expressing anger you could express disappointment on their regards, with some provocation. You could say for example:"I didn't expect you were this immature (/irresponsible, /awkward, /disorganized etc), but thanks for letting me know before anything else", and that's the end of the contacts... Just you should say these things only if you make sure she is really in the wrong and it's not you starting with too high expectations or not putting pieces together to "understand" an otherwise obvious "no", otherwise you'd look like someone oversensitive and overtriggerable, canceling the effect of giving a hit back.
But anyway this is just to say that there are for sure many other ways to reply back, before expressing your mind fully with all the anger attached, and the alternative is not just "do nothing". There are degrees of reactions... (but still consider any reaction will be potentially screenshotted and sent to mutual acquaintances, so use your words wisely).

[LazerBean]

Cutting off and walking away from toxic people isn't too nice, thats just basic adult behavior.

[Anonymous]

You need to relax man forget about her. It's not good building up all that anger. I understand how you feel though. I had one girl told me "I can't make it. A drug dealer got arrested in my build and I am scared" it was obvious bullshit but I just stop talking to her.

[Asker]

I know what you are saying man. But she’s not the only example. I had other woman do worse. I cut them off too. I always take “the higher road” but still I can’t think how satisfying it would be to leave a nice jagged barb on the way out (since I got stabbed in the back first).

I never do that and the incidents have taken their toll over the years. I don’t stick around obviously but the anger has built up.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes it's not good to walk around with that negative energy. It's only going ruin more interactions you have women. They will sense that negative energy coming off of you.

[Asker]

That is true. The younger me with get all pissed off and let the woman know it (but there sometimes was pleading which is real weak sauce I admit). But in the last few years I have been like “well suit yourself” and I walk away and don’t look back. Stoic and tough is the masculine way to handle it.

I had so something like this last week. It wasn’t easy though. Talked to a girl for three weeks who kept acting really interested in meeting up but canceled three times before the date. The third time I just stopped texting her. She tried to follow up later but I just said “hey I was frustrated about what happened last time”. She said she was sorry but I didn’t say anything else. Not asking again.