What do you suggest for next step?

[Magnus_1776]

For some reason she opened up to me. Its the same girl as before. I mean really opened up. She showed me pictures about her parents, finally fully answers my questions, keep teasing me. More interestingly when I try not to be close to her she comes to me for talk. Today she showed me something on her phone and our head and sides were touching each others.. I felt like I want to kiss her-strongly believe she felt the same. She asked my weight but I was smart enough to not ask it back. She told me!! That was the first time a lady ever told me her weight. What does that mean? Somehow I know its maybe not the right thing to do but fck it, we only live once, I’ll try my luck when she comes back from holiday despite the fact she is married. Until then I let it sink in herself.

I feel like I am falling in love with her. I can control it for now but not sure how long.
Do you think she feels the same?

Updates

1 y

Thanks, it does make a sense. Fck it why it has to be so complicated🤣 anyway I get the point.
However it’s not necessary me who is selfish. When you don’t enjoy being with someone you leave. They don’t have kids so its even easier.

[HollyK21]

Be her friend, because that’s all she is doing here. You are blatantly taking her opening up to you and turning it into more. This is you creating a reason to disregard her marriage in the future and make an unwarranted, and honestly quite selfish, move. So hit on her if you want but then you’ll be met with rejection and lose whatever friendship you’ve formed altogether. Your approach to this is the deeply unfortunate reason as to why women in relationships get so leery about making a friend who’s a male, this always happens.

[Magnus_1776]

Everything depends on two people. If she doesn’t want to be close to me she can ignore me, I will not push it. But as I told above it’s not the case.
It’s easy to be offended and put every responsibilities to men but you tend to be forgetting that always the women who choose.

[HollyK21]

You don’t have to ignore each other, and if you’d like you could still be her friend. My point here is that she’s already taken, so why pursue? You’re right, the ball would be in her court as to what happens next, but I genuinely don’t think she’s seeking romance, and you’ve taken her actions and made them more than they are. Playing devils advocate, if she is flirting or enjoying the attention you give then yes she is wrong, but you don’t have to keep engaging the wrong thing as well. There’s so many women out there, your karma would thank you for picking someone actually available, rather than messing up a relationship to get what you want.

[Magnus_1776]

Let me ask you a personal question. Would you flirt or engage with someone when you are happy with your boyfriend/husband? Some women do, it’s in their blood.. sorry but has to be said. Same as men.
Other side of the story is that few months ago I tried to speak to her but she ignored me, she is an introverted person, doesn’t talk much. I was okay with that, left her alone. But in the last three weeks she keep coming and flirting to me. Maybe the gentleman here was right, she only plays game with me.
I have to ask though from a woman point of view, why do you enjoy doing that? If you really want that man don’t play games with him.. if you don’t want him ignore him. And after anything happens or do not happen we will be blamed…

[HollyK21]

Personally I wouldn’t. There’s just levels of respect I have for my partner and boundaries I wouldn’t cross, not even just out of respect for him but respect for myself as well. I didn’t say what I previously said to completely negate or invalidate you’re experience, but I do try to keep a certain perspective, and as someone who’s just genuinely kind to people and my own actions could sometimes be perceived as flirtatious, I could see how what she does could be misinterpreted as flirtation or general interest, when that may not be her intention at all. If she is guilty of doing these things you’ve listed with some romantic aspects in mind, I do get the impression that maybe she enjoys the attention you give her. I could also imagine her having fun with the sort of rebellion or taboo that comes with flirting up her coworker. Like with no intention for anything other than feeling desired by another man, because I know that for some women, after they’ve been in a relationship for a long time they crave feeling wanted or admired by other men, like they’ve still got it. Silly, but it happens all the time.

[Magnus_1776]

Thank you for replying.
This is my other problem. I ignored her for one or two days but after she reached out to me. It doesn’t make a sense for me. I mean she wants something, however at the same time she seems very insecure. From past experience the best I can do is avoid her, doesn’t matter how much I want her.

[HollyK21]

There’s no true way to know if she’s wanting more unless you’re ready to directly ask her. But that could create a whole mess of its own, so it’s probably better to create some distance. Ignoring her completely however, seems kind of cold and would confuse her. Your thought process is if she doesn’t want you then she should ignore you or vice versa, but if you step into her shoes, couldn’t you see how mean or confusing that would look? For you to have been cool with her one day, then acting like she doesn’t exist a few days later? I don’t think that’s the best approach, especially if she’s your coworker. Just be cordial, and don’t engage much outside of what’s absolutely necessary. She’ll understand the distance at some point.

[Magnus_1776]

I misled you, I didn’t ignore her like she doesn’t exist, I created some distance like I didn’t go to her for a chat which always end up in eye-lock and sparkling eyes. Yes, she is my co-worker but I’ll leave the company in the next few months.
She is on holiday, I’ll ask her out when she comes back and see where it goes. If I’ll be a homewrecker like you said.. well I can live with that, tbh I don’t care about other people when I want something.
I said I have some developing emotions towards her. Do women feel it?

[Guy13]

She was getting her Emotional Need quota met with you because she does not get any from her husband. She needs you to survive her husband. Her husband does not care about the emotional component that she thrives off of... Make sense?

[Magnus_1776]

Thanks man, this is the most helpful. I never thought about it like that. Basically what you are saying is she is just playing games with me because she can’t get the emotional needs from the husband.
In the meantime I have to say huge thank you for this community. You are really helpful even with the rude-ish comments. Thank you!!

[Guy13]

Your welcomed-boy power 💪💪 in feminist world is required

[RasmusAiken]

If you can't enjoy just being her friend then GTFO.