Girls, are you less likely to message an older guy (you are interested in) vs a guy closer to your age when all else is equal?

[Anonymous]

About a week and half ago I chatted up a much younger girl. She was shy but interested once she warmed up to me. We chatted for a long time. I texted she her the next day but got no response.

I definitely know better than to keep on messaging women when they don’t respond. So I haven’t contacted her since. Haven’t heard from her either. I decided to let 10 days pass and tomorrow I’ll send a simple hello.

Obviously when people don’t message first or respond promptly it’s a bad sign. But I can’t help but wonder if a much younger woman might feel more hesitant to contact an older guy vs a guy her own age despite being interested. Like she expects me to take 100% control of everything. Maybe that’s just wishful thinking.

I am trying to tread carefully here without being boring. We were both upfront and honest about we wanted (a fling on the DL). But I know much younger women change their minds more than wind changes direction. She definitely had me interested.

Yes

No

[Anonymous]

I don’t think the age thing matters, she’s just found someone else (whether online or in person, I don't know how you met) and connected with them more. Either that or thought better of engaging with you, for one reason or another. I don’t think the shyness matters either, because it’s not like you weren’t already talking and it was probably her turn to reply anyway, because I do get the impression you were trying to engage and definitely weren’t leaving her on read or super long response times. Anyway, if I were you I’d set my sights elsewhere. 10 days no word from her says all you need to know and since you know you’re not a chaser, don’t switch things up now.

[Asker]

She was a long shot anyway. I really had nothing to lose. I would thought she was hot back when I was in my early 20s. I don’t come across that often nowadays.

Yeah I am not a “chaser” because barring 1-2 life exceptions that almost never works. Women ignore or friendzone if a guy is too persistent.

But I’ll send one more message tomorrow. See if she responds. If not than what you said above is confirmed. Be nice if she’s an exception though. I did have this happen last year.

[Opinion Owner]

No offense and you can call it what you want, but sending that last message would be chasing. Not saying I don’t see the motive, you had a good chat, she’s young and attractive, that whole shy and nice thing too really just reels the men in. I also think that if you aren’t running into a lot of women or having situations that lead anywhere beyond talking, then you really don’t want to let her slip away. But the most I’d say when you reach out is to not have any expectations and to also read the room. You should be able to differentiate niceness vs interest, and by that I mean her really engaging, rather than responding.

[Asker]

I know what your saying. And yes your right about me not running into a lot of women nowadays.

So what’s the worst than can happen? She doesn’t respond? Acts only borderline interested? Declines to meet up? Fair enough I’m ready for that to happen. If it does I’ll just delete her number and go on my way. It’s not like I’ll have to run into her somewhere.

[Asker]

But you are giving some good advice above. I actually know what you are saying is true. Need to stay level headed vs using my you know what to think. Easier said than done when you come across a hot prospect. But your right.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly, and that’s what I mean by having no expectations. Like if you reach out and she’s not engaging in the same way or not seeming interested, then you wouldn’t be upset or offended, if that makes sense. You have a good approach, so hopefully things work in your favor.

[Asker]

I was never expecting much from the get go. She would be a daydream come true though.

Anyway thanks for your advice.

[mandyfire98]

No, if I'm interested then the guy being older doesn't bother me at all.

[Asker]

She flat out told me she wants an older guy to be direct, control her and just “go for it”. She also claims to be a virgin. I find that part far fetched but not impossible.

Anyway as an older man I got the “creep factor” to worry about. I get paranoid if I just say just one wrong thing it’s adios for good. So I toned down my response when she asked me if I would be rough with her (said I would go down on her first). She told me earlier she has a fantasy about being tied up.

I think she was disappointed I was playing it safe. But at the same time if I go too far in the other direction that crossing a line I can’t return if she gets scared and I become a metoo example.

Don’t know what the hell to do tbh. Don’t want to be boring but don’t want to be scary either. Advice? She’s definitely real by the way. Not common for me to come across this opportunity. It would be beyond fantastic if I could convince her to meet up.