What amount of women are picky and shallow? How can an average-ish guy succeed?

[CuriousGeorge03]

Hey y’all new here and just need to hear the truth and figure out what to do about it. It’s my second year of college, I’m rooming with another guy and two girls. The girls are nice and pretty good friends but the way they talk about/choose guys worries me.

One of them dates a baseball player and he’s kinda an asshole and doesn’t do much for her. She even pays for a lot of his drinks and food. We all act like we don’t know why she stays with him, but I’m pretty confident it’s because he’s tall and handsome. She could be treated so much better but doesn’t seem to care.

The other girl spent the last year getting her heart broken by frat guys and baseball players who would make out with her and then leave when they realized she didn’t want to put out. Seems to completely ignore well intentioned guys. And when she talks to us about guys, she nitpicks them to death. “His eyelashes looked weird” “he was wearing his hat funny,” etc. She even cringes at shorter guys.
If me or my roommate mention we met a new guy she asks if he’s cute. Not like if he’s a cool guy or anything. Says she won’t settle on anything, she just has high standards. Of course she also wants a guy to treat her like a princess and always be a gentleman. So she wonders why “all men are dogs” and acts like there’s no good men out there.

This worries me a lot. I figured by this point girls would be over that. I’m an average/slightly above average looking guy and would be very kind and a good boyfriend, but it seems like most girls would rather have their feelings hurt by tall handsome men than give a guy who’s 5’11 and more normal looking a second glance.

I guess it might be relevant to mention both of these girls are very pretty sorority girls which I think might affect their judgement, because they have a lot of options and guys go for them. Sadly seems like it makes them entitled and shallow. It sucks that how you look matters so much in ways like this.

Anyway, thoughts? What should I do? Thanks

[BUTIMRIGHTTHO]

@CuriousGeorge03

Look dude. You're trying to make logical sense out of something that springs from a place that is deductive... and you're aspecting most people ( the average people) to be not shallow... Lol. The world runs on value. Nobody cares about you, only what you can bring to the table. That might be looks, jokes, kindness, money, ways of thinking etc. But you stripped of all of that is worthless despite what's left being the part that is actually you and actually perfection.

You know why girls end up with criminals and or bad guys that treat them less than well?
Because they are a match to those guys. Most girls are a match to the average guy. The average guy. The guy who buys into pop culture. The basic bitch (but for males).

If you're trying to make sense of the things that make no sense to you... IT IS BECAUSE THEY aren't SPRINGING FROM A LOGICAL PLACE. aka beliefs. Notions. Self-image. Ways of thinking. Things that are buried deep within a person. aka conditioning. Why do you think you still have racist in the world? You think that is logical? It comes from a place that requires no logic. Why do you think everyone is focus on nonsense 99% of the time. Only the winners are focus on their goals. Most people are focus on nonsense because that is what they let others put in them. If you wanna get someone to do something dont use logic, use emotion. Emotion comes from the emotional mind. You may call it the subconscious mind.

Why do women in poor areas keep having kids with low lives? because they grew up in a similar situation and are programmed to do so. It isn't logical. Logic does not control behavior... It doesn't. Why do you think 95% of people are less than their potential.

You gotta people working at Burger King but can go to school for 2-3years and earn 50k+ a year. That's not even a lot of money by the way. People operate the way they do because they are rarely operatively from their conscious minds.

Hell a million dollars is easy to earn and not even that much these days but yet how many people are actually doing it? They think it is harder than their day jobs but it's the same effort. The same effort. Why can't they see it? Because beliefs come from a place that doesn't accept nor reject logic. Totally deductive.

There you go man. Maybe im crazy or maybe you've notice someone in your family try to lose weight their whole life? Or maybe you've seen you friends start smoking yet they know all the bad things it causes and leads too. Why can't they see what's obviously?

Now you know

[CuriousGeorge03]

Fair enough. Unfortunately I think in a very logical pattern. Except when it comes to the girls I like. So I guess I'm just as guilty at this point. I know the pretty sorority girl type is usually high maintenance and shallow but biology gets in the way cuz they're hot and I start liking them. And it's a shitty feeling that I'm essentially locked out of the possibility of being with these girls just because I wasn't born to be 6'3 and strikingly handsome.

[Jacobbbb]

Being the "nice" guy doesn't really do much in today's dating world. The type you want aren't seeking that. The really pretty girls can be superficial and go for guys that are alpha chads in terms of looks, but complete assholes. There are good ones. They're not all like that. But if you're trying to go for that specific kind of girl that has near perfect looks and hoeish behavior then you're not gonna have luck

[CuriousGeorge03]

Yeah you're right and I'm not even a nice guy to a bad degree, like I don't give girls random compliments and buy them stuff and all that shit. Not a pick me guy or a guy that tries to be nice to get laid. I even tease them a little bit and make fun of the stupid shit they do (and no not in an asshole way). I just don't walk up and borderline harass them like "alpha chads" will. I don't think I have the looks to pull that off, which is disheartening, but then again I haven't really ever tried. Just let other people convince me of that.

[Jacobbbb]

It is what it is 🤷‍♂️ it's good that you're not like that tho it takes a very specific way to pull it off, being the "nice guy" and whatnot. Mainly just by having the looks if I'm being real. But yeah it's unfortunate because what you said about the average girl vs average guy thing.. (I read one of your replies) sadly does apply in some cases. Not all girls are like that, but the superficial ones are especially the ones around our age. Just give it time. You'll get a bit older and meet actual mature women that don't look at things from a shallow perspective.

[PrettyPriya]

I have to have a physical attraction to a guy to want to be in a relationship with him but that is hardly the first thing I look for in a guy. The first thing I look for is personality. It has to mesh with mine and personality is #1 for me.

You can be the best looking guy in the world with a rubbish personality. I will ignore those guys 100% of the time. Personality is made up of many things. All of them important.

I dated and got engaged to a man that has a wonderful personality. He is kind, respectful, caring, etc. He makes me laugh and treats me as an equal partner in the relationship. All things I value.

He also is a gentleman and does all those little things that make me feel special. Opening doors or pulling my chair out. In return, I do things for him to let him know what he means to me.

None of those things have to do with his looks. I am attracted to him for sure, but that wasn’t the first thing I noticed.

[BUTIMRIGHTTHO]

"I have to have a physical attraction to a guy to want to be in a relationship with him but that is hardly the first thing I look for in a guy."

@CuriousGeorge03 She basically just said looks matter the most. But personality matters the most too. So you gotta have both or you dont have a chance. So basically the good looking guys will win. You cannot change the way you look so.

[CuriousGeorge03]

That's good to hear, I know personality is important to some girls. Seems like an ever decreasing amount though. Even my own sister recently broke up with her boyfriend who I actually liked because he wasn't "exciting" enough and then went and got hurt by your typical bad boy archetype. Hopefully I can find girls out there that aren't like that. Of course, your looks are needed to even get in the door, and I don't know if just looking average cuts it anymore.

[CuriousGeorge03]

@BUTIMRIGHTTHO Yeah I mean partially that's a little extreme because not all good looking guys have a good personality. And in fact it seems like most of them don't, just like how it seems like a lot of pretty girls don't. So the girls out there that are selective about both are at least doing a little better than the ones that live with me lol.

[AsaKyo]

I think being picky sometimes can save a lot of people from unwanted problems

For example, if a guy gets with a girl because he's not picky, he could end up with some abusive bitch who's gonna pickpocket him every chance she gets. Or a girl who isn't very picky about the kind of guys she goes out with. She could end up with a douchebag who also abuses her and takes from her.

So, I think being picky is a good thing sometimes.

I am in no way saying that you are any of those examples, just putting in my two cents.

[CuriousGeorge03]

Fair enough I mean you should definitely be picky about personality because that protects you from bad people. Unfortunately what I'm seeing is girls being very picky about almost entirely superficial things. I know guys can be too. But it seems like the average guy finds the average girl attractive and would give her a chance, but the average girl doesn't want anything to do with the average guy and only wants the best looking, most "tall dark and handsome" man.

[Anonymous]

well yeah attractive girls at that age have a lot of options so can afford to be picky and date around a fair bit. so yeah there going to date the better looking guys or whoever is more desirable in that sense. its kind of tough to stand out in that scene but guys can still score if they focus there attention right as there is still other girls available

[CuriousGeorge03]

How could I stand out around girls like this (just wondering). I know I'm a funny guy, and I'm a stand up guy and people know that. Maybe not the life of the party but guys and girls laugh at my jokes and think I'm cool to be around. And I'm not super handsome but I'm not ugly. Is there anything else I can do? I know I'll never do it but I'm tempted to get plastic surgery just so I can experience the lifestyle of the lucky guys that get to have women at their disposal all the time. Cuz it's hard to accept that otherwise I'll just never know what it's like.

[Opinion Owner]

i'm not entirely sure what to suggest , know i'm older but i know the type of girls your dealing with is some like that at my pub who are servers and i know them fairly well. is this one blonde girl be 21 and she dating this douche i hate him and he even gets upset if i talk to her there. i'm not sure if he played any sports but they started dating in high school and like she can't let go of him.

sometimes there is no way to get with certain girls despite thoughs otherwise , the reality is some are in committed relationships and just aren't looking for someone else. so would definitly focus on girls that are single than waste any time on someone who is not.

it can help to expand your social circle and meet more girls , at bars i'd meet girls and it usually leads to meeting there friends and others. so other options can suddenly emerge that weren't there previously. i've done drinks/shots at the bar with insanely hot women before , it was fun and other guys/girls might of been jealous but not worth getting plastic surgery for

[Blackcosmo]

There are girls out there that'll go for people like you. Those girls you saw are always around so just avoid them.

[CuriousGeorge03]

Maybe I'm in the wrong friend group but they're mostly all I'm exposed too. And, I know this makes me guilty of being superficial too, but it's hard to accept that I can't be with that type of girl just because of how I look which I can't do much about.

[Blackcosmo]

There is someone out there that'll go for someone like you and don't expect those kind of girls to be one of them. They're not even pleasant.

[Avicenna]

Don't waste your time worrying about women that aren't suitable for you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

[CuriousGeorge03]

Thanks man. I'll try to look other places. It's just hard not to pay attention to the hot girl stereotype especially when you're around them constantly.

[Avicenna]

It's understandable. You can always check them out and go for the nice ones!

[Guy13]

Avoid those kind !!!

[CuriousGeorge03]

True.

[Guy13]

For sure because the only person people like that care about are themselves. Some of them are trying to get something for nothing in one way or another. Attention chasers etc. High drama for sure !!!