Ladies, what would you say are the top 5 things that instantly cause you to lose respect for a man?

[Anonymous]

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1 y

So many of you responded to this question, and it's jam packed with great points and information, I will carefully read and ponder over each one, thank you.

[CubsterShura]

Other than obvious things like being a bad person, being selfish, liar, racist, misogynist, etc...

1. Entitlement. Whether it is entitlement to sex, entitlement to special treatment, entitlement to people giving them or telling them what they want, entitlement to people's time. Funny thing is just today I was talking about this incel dude with a guy friend who told me he doesn't like speaking to him either because when the incel found out that my friend is a divorced man, he started asking him lots of intrusive questions. My friend is the type of guy who talks to everyone and rarely gets mad but he is still frustrated with him. We're really good friends and even I don't cross the boundary of asking him too many questions about his marriage. Don't be the guy who is so insufferable that forget women, even other men don't like to speak to you.

2. Manosphere mumbo-jumbo. This includes everything from believing in alpha-beta-sigma male to being a fan of Andrew Tate to making conclusions based off of 'evolutionary psychology'. Even if a guy doesn't consider himself part of the manosphere if he harbors same beliefs with them or shows any level of sympathy or solidarity I'm out. I've given men like that a chance in my life hoping they wouldn't be that bad and I learned the hard way that's a bad idea.

3. Momma's boys, I call them "men who still drink their mothers milk". It's one thing to respect your mother and have a healthy relationship with her, it's another thing to put her on a pedestal and especially pit your girlfriend/wife against her (saying stuff like you will never replace my mother), that is like absolutely unnecessary to bring up on your own and a big red flag. Oh, and this category of men also include men who take their mother's words like the gospel. Like, I can respect someone loving their mother, but thing is mothers can be very wrong sometimes and her being your mom doesn't make her right or it doesn't make it right for you to have wrong beliefs. When I dealt with suicide ideation and dated a guy who told me suicide is selfish and his mother agreed, I tried explaining to him why that's a harmful belief but he wouldn't listen. You can respect your mother and still disagree with her, draw boundaries when needed and most of all have your own personality outside of your mother's domain. Be a man.

4. Men who look up to other problematic men. I think who you take as a role model says a lot about who you are as a man. I realized even if the man himself doesn't seem bad, if he is fond of a person you don't like it's better to avoid him.

5. I call these men 'shallow feminists'. They have their own idea of what a 'progressive woman' should look like and they look down upon any woman who isn't like that, so any woman who isn't ambitious enough is not someone worthy of respect in their eyes, or they think stay-at-home moms are lazy. They are just as bad as misogynists in my eyes if not worse. It is simply not your place as a man to tell how a woman should be.

[quaranta]

1) He plays a victim role, aggressively, as a regular style to obtain something (passive aggression masked by masculinity is the worst thing I can think of and it makes me cringe very hard).
2) He has no empathy towards animals, kids, disadvantaged people, innocents.
3) He lies, cheats, manipulates, has a lot of malice (with anyone, not just me).
4) He is severely dysfunctional (heavy drug addiction or alcohol, crime, has a severe personality disorder, impulsive, bad anger management).
5) He is a strong believer in something spiritual (any religion, any cult), popular conspiracy theories, or his thoughts are supported often by logical fallacies (which is the core problem of this point in fact).

This is the top 5 reasons that cause me to lose esteem in them and not considering them as equals anymore, somehow less "deserveful" in general (I could continue if it was a top 15), but if the question was about the top 5 deal breakers then they would be different because you can still consider someone as no relationship material even though you respect them, with different priorities.

(Note: this is a personal list about myself and not what I think generally women lose respect to, which I believe to be different)

[BlueScorpio]

1. Blames women all the type for his shortcomings. Listen to any if that mgtow/alpha nonsense online

2. hypocritical. Will over look men making poor decisions for rhe simple fact he's another man but will condemn the woman for the exact same poor decision.

3. Distant, cold, acts like he's not sure if he's into you or not. Only wanting the physical and nothing else. Noncommital.

4. Shows signs of extreme anger/emotional issues that could lead to any type of abuse.

5. Rude or mean

[Asker]

So take full accountability for your mistakes, don't try to be an Alpha, (Alphas do exist by the way), don't be a hypocrite, know what you want and be upfront with it, be honest, have your damn emotions in check, and be a gentleman.

[Sanamina]

I respect everyone because I was taught to do so. If they dont respect me back that's their problem not mine.

I can judge someone from afar but I don't know their story

But that does not mean I'm gonna go find u and start fixing your problems for you.

I just respect you, because everyone deserves respect.

Getting laid is a different ballpark but just because I dont want to date someone doesn't mean I was disgusted with them or anything, maybe I just chose the person who I had better chemistry with.

[Aerissa_Jade]

1. Macho asshole who picks fight with everyone

2. Thinks all women care about is money

3. Lies

4. Can't hold a job and keeps blaming everyone but themselves (this applies to anyone, women too for me.)

5. This last one is a big one, when someone tells you what you should do and you point out the problems with that, and they say..."Not my problem." that causes me to lose respect for them. It is usually men, but can be women... as the same things that make me lose respect for one can apply to the other.

Examples are with liberals tell me to take the bus, and I point out I'm rural. No busses and then they get mad like not my problem you choose to live there.

Zero respect for those people who think they solved a problem by creating another problem.

[Asker]

So,
1-Don't fight everyone but be willing to fight someone.
2-Understand that women care about more than just money.
3-Tell the damn truth.
4-Take full accountability for your life, especially when it comes to your job & work ethic.
5-You fix a problem with an actual solution, not by creating another problem & walking out.

[pewter_moon]

The others have already nailed it but I’ll add my initial thoughts anyway.

Disrespect. Nobody likes it.
Thoughtlessness. When it is missing it is noticeable.
Procrastination. Nobody gets anywhere delaying.
Needy.
Stubbornness. This one has a meter on it though. A certain amount is good but too much and men annoy us as all of these things annoy men.

[Asker]

So,
Be respectful, actively think, get up and get to work, don't be needy-(could you elaborate on this a bit more?), have a bit of an edge but be flexible.

[sunflower00]

1. Lack of empathy, kindness & understanding

2. Feels as if he’s above others - for example thinks women should cook & clean even if both work full time and split costs
3. Any kind of racism, homophobia, etc.
4. Huge fan of men like Andrew Tate
5. If they care more about showing off to friends, and say things they don’t actually believe just for other men’s validation etc. / don’t stand up for what’s right or call out their friends when they do something wrong

[Faith18letsgo]

1. Talks badly about women sleeping around
2. Interrupts me
3. Isn’t hard working
4. Doesn’t do self care
5. Acts entitled to sex

[Asker]

So,
1-Don't be a hypocrite
2-Be capable of having a respectful conversation
3-Work ethic is essential
4-Proper hygiene is key
5-You're not entitled to sex

[Sour-rose]

1. him being horny
2. doesn't show that he has even a heart for other living things
3. looks at women like a tiger would look at prey
4. doesn't see women as normal humans
5. mind is closed.

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

Shorts several inches above the knee
Doesn’t tip and tip well
Skinny jeans
Doesn’t call his mom
Doesn’t carry my bags/drop me off in front of the entrance when it’s raining and then go park

[Anonymous]

Great question here. Five things that come to mind are:
1 - He disrespects his own mother. If he can't respect the woman who birthed him, how can he respect me.
2 - He puts his friends priorities before that of a girlfriend.
3 - He abuses his body by eating unhealthy and zero exercise and then complains about it.
4 - He expects the woman to do all the house cleaning and cooking even when both parties work.
5 - He has a vice like gambling or porn addiction.

[jennifer_bloom]

1. Anger Management Issues. 2. Disrespect. 3. Not Understanding or Respecting My Views. 4. Cheating. 5. Possessive and Stingy.