Why does my female friend send me (also a female) selfies?

[Anonymous]

I believe it’s probably her looking for attention but sometimes I wonder if she’s interested in me more than a friend. We’ve been friends off and on for a little over a year. She used to be the typical crappy pick me friend but has gotten better over time. Randomly tho she will send me selfies she’s taken off of snap. I don’t comment on them cause I think that it’s weird she sends them in the first place. I’ve had one girl best friend in my life and we would send pics of ourselves to eachother but they were pictures that nobody would ever see because it was usually weird faces no makeup etc. I don’t send pics back to her either. I’m sure she’s looking for attention or to be told nice comments but I don't know if she does to it others. We used to be roommates but she would be rude call me names that I was told in a joking manner but wasn’t a joke she’d remark on my weight so I cut her off. But since she’s apologized to me she’s been a lot better so I’ve continued the friendship. Sometimes when we drink and smoke she puts her hand on my thigh and says how happy she is to be hanging out. She used to stalk my social profiles and kept trying to communicate with me through mutuals to fix our friendship. She’s very comfortable around me compared to others, but doesn’t really consider me a best friend more like a friend but then will go back on that and says we are best friends so I’m just really confused. I’ve asked her once when we weren’t talking if she was in love with me cause the obsession was bizarre to me. She never answered me. Anyways any opinions or help with this is welcome. Thanks in advance!

[SteveSmith1985]

This is pretty obviously a girl with romantic/sexual feelings for you. That's clearer than clear. At first I thought this sounded like possibly attention-seeking. Until I got to the "puts her hand on my thigh" part.

**INSERT RECORD SCRATCH**

From that point until the end, you make it SUPER DUPER clear that this girl obviously has feelings for you. Now, things cannot be any clearer than you confronting her for her bizarre behavior, that seemed to suggest she might be 'in love with you' so much that you LITERALLY ASK HER if "she's in love with you or something"...

AND SHE NEVER ANSWERED YOU!!!

This is not hard to read. This girl has feelings for you, but can also see that you seem to be weirded-out/not receptive to any advances she's attempted. I kinda feel badly for her to tell you the truth. She has strong feelings for you obviously, and you're oblivious to them. You end up rejecting her advances... but not clearly enough for her to give up trying.

I'm guessing the fact that you're pretty oblivious to this leads to her being confused. So when she puts her hand on your thigh and tells you how happy she is to be hanging out (would... you understand what that meant if a guy did it?)

You don't straight up reject her advance. You don't realize that it IS an advance. So you... awkwardly react to her advance... simply because you don't know what to make of the behavior.

Now, it sounds like this girl's feelings for you might be verging into the somewhat unhealthy/obsessive. I'm not saying that it's all innocent same-sex feelings that aren't problematic. But, she DEFINITELY has feelings for you. That's why she's acting the way she's acting. ALL of it... is because she likes you. It's for attention from YOU specifically. 🙂

[ShellyB]

You may be right, however, the hand on thigh thing sounds normal to me for girlfriends talking while drinking or whatever, like if you are sitting close wanting to talk into each others ears in a noisy bar for example. Or just being silly.

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes, but the only reason you bring up the thigh thing at all is BECAUSE it's different than the 'regular friendship' version of this happening. None of those other times struck you as weird or different... because they weren't. It only stands out to you because it DID mean something.

Also, IN CONTEXT (along with everything else) the meaning of the thigh thing becomes unquestionably clear. If your friend puts her hand on your thigh AND she... blah blah blah... that is additional strong evidence that it means something.

[Asker]

I’d like to add we are both in relationships with men. I’m confused tho in general cause usually I’m pretty good at being able to tell if someone is interested in me. Possibly too I’m thinking the pictures she sends to me is when her boyfriend isn’t paying her attention but I don't know for sure.

[Asker]

I’ve had friends that were girls before and we are often touchy feely or attached at the hip. But for some reason the thigh thing stuck out to me because it just seemed out of the blue but she had kept touching it prior or throughout the night she was also pretty high (weed) and drunk. We’ve drank and smoked before and we are normal touchy feely. I’m also starting to wonder if she actually just wants like a threesome because my boyfriend was introduced to me by her but she always denied him but he kinda really liked her. Sometimes I also can’t tell if she hangs out with us for me or my boyfriend. But she’s also respectful of my relationship with her. There is recent drama and speculation that her boyfriend was abusive and a cheater to his ex girlfriend. According to that ex girlfriend he has and will continue to cheat on my friend who is his girlfriend and probably abuse her too. I’ve confronted her and asked and I feel like she gaslights herself. I was also in an abusive relationship once and I feel like she may be now too.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think there's a whole lot going on there. I think your friend has feelings for you despite you both being in relationships. But it sounds like a lot more is going on with this situation than only that. The most important thing, is to try and keep an eye on your friend, and do whatever you can to make sure she's not being abused. I don't need to tell you how important that is. But I think that thigh thing, struck you as different because it was different. And put in context, it becomes pretty clear it DID mean something different (in it's intent).

[Guy13]

The whole thing is nonsensical to me. It’s all so very complicated.

[ShellyB]

I don't know it could be either way I think, I tried to read it assuming she is not flirting with you and it makes sense that way, then I tried to read it assuming she is flirting with you and it also makes sense that way. Sending pics is a bit weird but maybe she just wants compliments or feedback about how she looks, and touching your thigh is normal if you just mean normal touching nothing clearly sexual. Would you rather she was, or was not interested in dating you, I get the impression how you worded it that you do not want that but just asking to be sure.

[LimitedBenefits101]

Most women are queer

[Anonymous]

She wants your opinion?