How do you find out if a shy employee likes me and has a crush if I am her supervisor?

[Anonymous]

I know that this displays red flags, but I cannot help it. I got a crush on a recent hire and we are both single. I always liked her, but recently I got the impression that she could very much like me as well. She is about 8 years younger and is more an introvert/shy type. When sitting together with her she seems a bit nervous, plays with her hair (flipping and stroking it) and mirrors me in different social situations. However, I have the feeling that she also tries to avoid me even though I believe that I really act normal around her and do not give her more attention compared to others.

When I talk or say something to her, her face seems to become a bit reddish as do her eyes. She also initially avoided eye contact, but recently does initiate that a bit more than before. I also have the impression that I can see "love in her eyes", but that is difficult to explain. When sitting with her, my heart races and I get somewhat nervous as well (I am introvert too by the way).

The major issue is that I am her supervisor, so asking her out is not exactly I am eager to do without knowing a bit better whether she likes me or not. Quite the difficult situation...

The thing is, I do not get loving feelings for women that quickly, so this moment feels really special/rare to me. Also, I do not want to remain forever single, so this is a rare event for me. That's why the easy "solution" of "just try to get another women" is painful for me.

Do you think that she could be into me?

What would be the best way to find out without risking too much?

Updates

1 y

Considering your responses to the situation. I think that you might be right to not pursue this any further. I am not willing to risk my job over a thing like this. Thank you all for giving me this valuable input.

[SueShe]

This is the type of situation to avoid at all cost. One never ever flirts or attempts anything with a co-worker or worse, with a person that is above or below you in the company hierarchy. That spells trouble and may cause a number of conflicts within the company and among co-workers, such as jealousy and fears of favoritism.

I would personally refrain from initiating anything with that person, even if you have a crush on her because you are possibly jeopardizing your or her position within the company.

Now, the signs she gives you would tend to be the ones of a person that is somehow attracted but in order to be sure, you would have to discuss this issue with her directly. You must also be aware that she may use you in order to get a promotion for example and that is where the danger lies. Should she get promoted before another employee that has more seniority than her, then all hell will break loose.

Finally, your last paragraph makes me wonder if you are not rushing things a little. You seem to hang onto that person because she gave you some attention. You state that you don't want to remain single your entire life and I wonder if you don't rush things because you believe your time is running out on you about being in a relation.

[Asker]

Thank you very much for this valuable input. I believe this has given me enough insight to hold back on this.

Regarding your last section. I think you might be right and sometimes I do feel that time is running out, which is of course a bad incentive.

[slatyb]

This is very simple. You don't. You cannot ever date a subordinate, or indicate sexual interest in any way.

[boobliker]

ASK them is the best way get talking to them

[Anonymous]

Have you thought about asking her? 🤦‍♀️

[Asker]

Sure, I have, but as I mentioned, this ain't very easy, especially considering my job situation as her direct supervisor. It much more risky than compared to a non job environment.
What's your take on the situation?

[In_Trance]

This sounds to me like you're going to get fired