Way back in 2010 I dated a girl for about 2 months and she suddenly stopped contacting me. Two weeks later she was dating someone else. I didn’t say anything to her for a few months because I was a professional athlete at the time. I had a major competition coming up.
I tried to act like I didn’t care and just compartmentalized in my mind. Told myself I was a man and just “who cares”. But it definitely took a major toll on my training and performance. I really liked her at the time and it was such a huge insult she left with no word. I ended up losing a very close MMA fight.
Anyway back then I later reached out to her via DM and said I didn’t appreciate what she did. She tried to gaslight me saying I was only dating her for sex (not true). For me I don’t spill my feelings with women early in the dating steps.
She ended up getting burned by the other guy (well deserved bad karma). We briefly got back together again. Admittedly that was very stupid and pathetic on my part. However she was solid 9 looks wise and being young, naive and dumb I went with it.
At that time I was also paranoid to initiate sex given what she said earlier. Sure enough she started acting all confident I would be okay with the friendzone. A month later she was dating someone else and asked if we could be “friends”. This time I said no thanks and I walked away for good.
This was all a long time ago. I sure as hell wouldn’t fall for that crap nowadays. But I was really insulted by her confidence that I would be okay with the friéndzone. It’s fine if she didn’t want to date me anymore but the fact she seemed like I wouldn’t have any issue staying “her friend” really got to me. It really fucked me up when I was training for a serious competition at the time.
It’s an old memory but I would like to tell her all that. Get some closure. But would it be better just to ignore her?
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I wouldn't say any of this to her because it gives away too much of how you really feel. You like the idea of getting it off your chest (and sometimes it feels great) but if you really want to get your own back on her then block and ignore her because that will wind her up much more. She will hate that you didn't even bother to reply but worse, you blocked her. She isn't worth it and by blocking her, that's the message you'll be giving out and it will KILL her. I sound really evil but I promise I'm not! 😊
Yeah I was thinking that might be the best way to go about things. The core issue with the friéndzone that most women don’t get (or conveniently ignore) is it ultimately makes the man hate himself. Makes himself question his own masculinity. It’s got long lasting effects. That’s a lot worse then hating someone else or having them hate you.
She wasn’t the first or last woman who tried this bs on me. But she was by far one of the worst. She had the nerve to complain to me about how the guy she left me for broke her heart. I can’t believe how weak I was at that time for not blocking her right away and moving on. I was dumb enough to buy her lie about me “offending” her that she first left because all about “sex”. Bullshit she just had no respect for me.
Anyway I will block her. That will send the message.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. If it makes you feel better sometimes women like her (and me I'm ashamed to say) need to learn the hard way. I made a great guy think he had a chance with me (even though he didn't in reality because I thought he was too old and nerdy for me) but 2 years after I friend zoned him, I realised that he was what I wanted but now he has a girlfriend and told me to live and learn! He still likes me but now nothing can happen. I don't want to live and learn, I just want to live! It's too late and my own fault so I guess I only have myself to blame. I will live and learn with your ex-girl. See, I do know what I'm talking about 😊
It’s too bad I am single right now. I would of loved you have her see me with another girl on social media.
Anyway I know women often take longer to make up their mind with dating and falling in love. So many men are put in this very difficult position. There are chemicals being released in our brains which makes it harder to pick up negative slights/hints that are plain as day for anyone else. If the girl isn’t interested then she will be able to think much more clearly. She has an advantage over him. Don’t abuse it.
I’ve had to turn down a few women over the years. I’m guilty of long term friendzoning a girl in HS and another in college. But from 30 on I politely spoke my mind to prevent anybody from getting their hopes up.
But a lot of women don’t feel much guilt about keeping a man around as an orbiter. They like the extra attention, favors and everything else. It’s an evolutionary thing. But it needs to be pointed out because male chivalry is a not an infinite resource.
Anyway I am glad you learned your lesson. Just don’t ever do this to anyone else.
Sorry for the word wall. But honestly if this guy was still single would of you tried to date him? Or is the fact he is taken in itself make him more attractive?
If you must insist in prolonging my pain (I was just starting to get over it!😄) - I can share the story with you but can I share it in private?
I added you.
She can fuck her self. Women who friend zone guys don't deserve the friendship. Period.
Yep. Attraction isn’t a choice but RESPECT is.
block her
Probably best. Still though it would feel good to calmly tell her what a selfish pos she was.