Why are some girls just so mean?

[Anonymous]

Don’t get me wrong I still have some friends. But for the most part, making friends that are girls or maintaining friendships at my age has been SO HARD.

There’s always some kind of jealousy or competition involved. Girls will try to jeopardise things for me, say mean things to me or just treat me badly and try to show off a lot about themselves. It mostly involves 1) having a man / 2) who’s “prettier”.

It’s like the older I’m getting, the worse it’s becoming.

I’m a naturally friendly person so I keep finding myself hurt in the friendships I make. And now I have to learn to defend myself.

[blueonblack22]

I’m not sure. I’m not a woman and I generally don’t look to make friends with women. I’ve had one very long time female friend. There is almost zero attraction between us (which is rare for a men and female relationships).

She is a very good woman but even she has her bitchy moments. But she always apologized and owned up to it the rare times it did happen.

TBH I think a major contributor to all of this is our modern society and digitization. It has supposedly made things better for gender equality and “woman’s rights” but in reality it’s setting up traps to encourage women to be selfish with no remorse.

This not only hurts romantic endeavors but also hurts simple friendships as well. I wouldn’t be friends with a man or woman who consistently treated other people like shit (including romantic endeavors). Could you be friends with a woman who treats badly and selfishly? She might come off as a “strong woman” at first. But do you trust that? It created self misery that goes beyond relationships.

[Asker]

I think bitchy women are actually very weak. I have a couple of friends who come off as strong and I like to think I come off with a strong personality too. But we always show respect around people. There’s always a boundary. I don’t think there’s anything to justify having a “bitchy moment”. It just sounds like an excuse to be a shit person

[blueonblack22]

The difference is if the person will own up to being wrong when it’s completely obviously vs. trying to gaslight and self justify their bullshit.

[Asker]

I had a friend who would own up to it but kept doing it anyway. And her excuse was she was going through a lot (apparently). Then it got out of hand. That’s why I can’t accept that behaviour anymore in my life

[blueonblack22]

Actions speak louder than words.

The thing is that shitty selfish behavior has long term negative impacts on other people and more often than not the people getting burned will be more likely to not trust other people (ruining good opportunities) or sadly burning others in the process.

One noticeable issue I have is the whole ghosting bs. I’m a bit older and this wasn’t that common 15-20 years ago. People didn’t have social media to run away too. But first it started with women ghosting men. Now women are ghosting each other. And even now some men are ghosting women. But no offense this shitty behavior started with women first.

[Asker]

Yes. The friend I described with bitchy behavioural patterns. She ghosted me at the end 😭

[blueonblack22]

There is an old saying about “not feeding the alligator”. When you feed the alligator it will eventually eat you.

So the analogy is women are now being told that “their truth” is “the truth” do whatever emotion they feeling in the moment should be 100% indulged. It will always lead to happiness.

For a time they could get away with this. Women and disrespect/ghost men because they are just guys after all. Who cares? As long as you at least are semi attractive there will always be another sucker around the corner. Men are still expected to approach anyway.

But now women are ghosting each other. Given they need to support each other this something even more damaging. Also increased the chances of it being done to themselves now.

Anyway as crappy is this is just use her as an example of what NOT to do. Sadly some people get the “you can’t beat ‘em then join ‘em” and just start treating other people like crap by subconsciously justifying it because what was done to them. It creates a vicious cycle. Don’t do that.

[Asker]

Sigh. I totally agree!

[blueonblack22]

To break the cycle you sometimes have to take the bullet.

The young woman I dated in 2016-2017 ghosted me after 9 months of dating after a minor argument. Yes it was an age gap (I was 34 and she was 21) so I sadly knew deep down that wasn’t impossible. We were also on the rocks with a few things. However it still hurt though. Really hurt.

Fast forward 3 years later when I was dating a different woman. This time I wanted to break up and I was very nervous about how she would react (she was on psych meds). But I did the right thing and sat down with her face to face. I endured over 2 years of her screaming, yelling, throwing things and ultimately threatening to kill herself. She got her relatives involved too. It was pure hell. But I also walked away knowing I did the right thing. I could of easily broke with up her over the phone or even ghosted like a selfish bitch. But no I did the right thing. She actually confirmed I made the right choice by how she reacted and I felt no regret because I gave her full closure.

So anyway unless you are sociopath your conscious will haunt you down the road if you mistreat someone. Your former friend might have to deal with that and rightfully so. Guilt does add up.

[blueonblack22]

*ended up enduring over 2 hours

[Asker]

Oh my………. I hope so

[blueonblack22]

Sorry for the word wall earlier.

Just a FYI I don’t think all women are bad nor do I think all men are good/noble. But really are some horrible trends going on in society.

[Asker]

No need to apologise. I totally agree with you tbh

[RavVid]

Men hear about female competitiveness a lot from girls. A gal pal summed it up with the phrase 'It's very political being a girl'. It is not unusual for girls to lament that it is hard to find a good female friend and it is easier to make friends with men.

i think this video explains a lot about female competitiveness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jKAgYL0gg

Men tend to compete on what they can do. One guy might be good at sports. Another guy might be good at maths. We all tend to find something we are good at so we are all pretty equal in being good at something. Girls seem to be more concerned with placement in hierarchies.

The reality is rather the reverse of common perspective that girls are less competitive and hierarchical. it is just more subtle is all.

[Anonymous]

It may sound strange but sometimes your friends shouldn't be pretty.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

That you're not going for the same guys etc or like the same guys technically they won't be your competition and vice versa. Less pretty girls can actually appreciate having a pretty friends and care

[Asker]

I guess so. It could be

[Opinion Owner]

Or just find better friends. They can't all be bad

[Asker]

Very true!!

[RealMarek]

The roots of this are tied to how women organized themselves socially in a hierarchy of attractiveness during prehistoric times. One could consider having a man, the higher status the better, as evidence of attractiveness. This is partly why women tend toward social media addiction more than men, just as men tend toward porn and video game addiction more than women.

Of course, we are not in prehistoric times, and the hard-wired impulses can find expression in strange ways, especially in the modern workplace, and can sometimes be inverted. For example, it’s not uncommon for a beautiful woman to get a lot of resentment from other women.

[TonyMetal___86]

Everyone wants a piece from the sweet princess 🤣🤣

You know better about girls and i think that the whole life is a competition, also it depends on the person's upbringing...

Like i said before, stay away from people who doesn't deserves you...

A lot of people must learn how to live in peace and be happy for other people's happiness...

[Asker]

The last sentence is very true

[TonyMetal___86]

Well that's my way of life...

[Pudsmucker]

If I find that young ladies are usually jealous, that has a tendency cuz the maintenance. It also varies on the upbringing

[Juxtapose]

You need to vet these people out earlier because the women I'm friends with aren't like that.

[Guardian45]

You think it's bad at your age? Wait until your my age and single!

[Preeti161101]

Don't care such kind of person 😉

[Asker]

Thanks you’re right

[Preeti161101]

💕💕

[Asker]

💘💘

[Anonymous]

Yeah it sucks.