How many people understand the concept of "paying for a date" and that it has nothing to do with entitlement but more elaborate?

Question

I had some guy say that women are entitled expecting a man to pay for the date. There's a flaw with his logics.

And that is the fact decent guys raised properly by respectable parents were taught to pay for their dates by their father when they were 16 & started dating as it is a sign of respect. Just as how women raised properly by respectable parents were taught never to give out on the first date & that if a guy doesn't offer to or pay for the date then he isn't worth much.

You see the concept of paying for a date is not entitlement.

No more entitlement than if you invite friends for coffee or beer & as "host" pay for it - just manners. If you don't do such or offer such with friends then you were raised ignorantly.

With dating

In previous years & generations part of paying for the date is to indicate that you are willing to supply for your date and potential partner without begrudging them.

It was used as an indication of a man's character.

And if he'd be suitable as a partner who would support, etc. his partner & eventual kids.

Or if he behaves as if teeth are being pulled without anesthesia at a simple request.

.

Between the two the first is a desirable man & the latter is a douchebag who likely be abusive, etc. in a relationship. Just the basic psychology of his self-centered conduct.

Pegases · Accepted Answer

I think what a lot of unsuspecting men encounter these days are an abundance of women that go on dates for free food, to be flown out, or to be taken on free vacations. Its a pretty common social media trend that a lot of women today engage in. Essentially they call it tricking, where a woman pretends to be traditional, or simply everything that a man is looking for, in order to access his wallet. Now that this trend is so popular online and more men encounter women like that, I think most men over protect themselves because they dont have much experience in weeding those women out. Now I understand where you are coming from, which is essentially that if a man wants a traditional woman, he has to first be a traditional man. I completely agree, and a lot of men today don't even realize that they are shooting themselves in the foot by not embodying the traditional man archetype. But it's also true that men and women alike have an abundance of bs to weed through in today's dating market, which leads to most of the confusion that a lot of people carry into the dating world. Now, I'm not saying he was right to say you're entitled, because he isn't if you are in fact a traditional woman, but what I am saying is that it's now trendy for more women than ever before to pretend to be something they aren't, and it's got men without much experience with women, scared. In a nutshell, it's the trash people on both ends that make dating harder for those that are actually interested in ltr's. Again, it deosnt make him right for saying that you're entitled, especially if you're traditional, but I think the solution to the issues people seem to consistently face in the dating world, is gaining knowledge of where the other side is coming from. That being said, one way that you as a woman can weed out men that aren't actually traditional, is by offering to pay, and seeing if the man pays. The man for you, won't let you pay, but will be comforted by the fact that you offered, precisely because of what I mentioned before. I hope I offered you a bit of clarity, and some advice you can use on your dating journey. Good Luck out there.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

That's a cultural and anti-feminist thing. Some people actually believe that it's disrespectful to pay for your date, as it communicates that you think they are lesser than you, and thus deserving of your patronage. Being raised "proper" is a tricky thing as one person's "proper" may not be the same as another. It kind of instills the idea that "different automatically equals bad."

And yeah, totally polite to pay for someone that you invite out as a host. But you don't host a date. It's supposed to be something you're doing together as equals. You're hosting each other, not one person hosting the other.

A suitable partner is... well... a partner. A partner has an equal share otherwise they're a subordinate. Not calling you wrong for your beliefs or anything. Just pointing out that other people have other beliefs. They understand yours, they just don't agree with them.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

I think most people these days are too stupid to be able to grasp that if they want a certain type of person, they themselves are going to have to act like someone that certain type of person would want. A lot of modern Men are angry about the fact that in order to get a traditional woman, they're going to have to act like a traditional man.

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

As a guy I was taught that if I asked the girl out, then I would pay. Dating someone is a privilege. Sure, I too am spending my time, but the exchange is dinner or whatever event for her time as a chance to get to know her and possibly continue seeing her. Now, had she asked me out, I'd still make a motion to pay but would accept if she objected.

Astarlessnightsky · Answer

If you are asumming someone is paying for your, thats the meaning/definition of being entitled. Offer to split the bill and most men will happily pay for everything.

How many people understand the concept of "paying for a date" and that it has nothing to do with entitlement but more elaborate?

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