Why do some girls put out with a man instantly but then make another man wait 4-6 months after they find themselves?

[21Cowboy21]

[ManOnFire]

Women tend to compartmentalize different men. If it's a guy she knows isn't of very great quality or value but he turns her on a lot, or at least if she wants sex she knows he can be the one she'll get it from, then she will sleep with him quickly. But if he is clearly the type of man that she can see knows how to respect a woman, show her care and love, is serious about life, and is basically what they call a "high value man," then she'll hold off sex to try to see just how much he really cares.

And because of her psychological Madonna-whore complex in which they are attracted to a high value man romantically, but are not actually sexually excited by him. They see him as a loving man, a good provider, would make a great father, but deep down all the other guys excite her sexually much more.

I am not saying these women and their mindsets are a good thing. In fact, far from it. I am just explaining how they think and operate. And because I've had experience with them from time to time, and they all turn out to be exactly what I predicted. Breaking it down: they are definitely not the kinds of women you should date or even hold out any hope for. Never go along with any woman who you can clearly see is doing what you described in your question. A woman who really cares about you and is clean-hearted, consistent, and truly loving is not going to give it up fast for one guy but try to make you wait because you're a "good guy." She's going to make all men wait. And that's the kind of woman you want.

[Jamie05rhs]

💯 .

[21Cowboy21]

I tend to agree mostly. But sometimes high value men she will sleep with quickly also and they may Also be great lovers long term too. The best man can fall into both categories some of the time.

[ManOnFire]

@21cowboy21 She'll only sleep with a high value man if he is very physically attractive or has a lot of money. But the average everyday high value man will be passed up by these women because their unclean psychology and jacked up ideas of attraction will tell them to.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

She has different categories fir men, ones to bang, ones to be with. If that bothers you, dump em.

[smashleyy]

i use to think it didn’t matter when you had sex and jumped into bed quickly but with that I was attracting the wrong kind of men who were more times than not emotionally unavailable. They didn’t come across that way but of course you can’t really tell when you’re rushing into things. If you’re looking for something stable and long term waiting to be intimate also helps to steer men away from you who future fake/love bomb when they actually only want sex since 9/10 they aren’t going to wait around and move on to someone who will. getting to know someone before hand also helps to spot red flags in his character and easier to walk away without sex clouding judgment. I now view sex as more meaningful, it is quite literally the closest you can be to another human being. I use to view it as no big deal just something fun to do, a little extra dopamine hit. the more I respect a man and think fondly of him now the more i want to take things slow. everything you put out is a reflection of you, i use to not respect the men I was sleeping with easily so I did not respect myself (was a slap in the face to become self aware to this extent)😂

[Anonymous]

Last time I checked, it's her body, or in your case, your body, and you or she can have or doesn't have to have sex with anyone at any time and for any reason. If that's not your cup of tea, find someone else.

[21Cowboy21]

Well said

[Qdbrown]

Basically there are things women want and need. They want to be with the risky, dangerous, big sex good-looking guy. That excites them.

But they really want a guy who will provide and defend them. They learn quickly that all the qualities they need and want are never the same guy. As they age, they seek a long-term provider, why quietly yearning for the bad boy.

And a deeper level, they hope to meet that guy who has it all. Oddly some get that guy, and as time goes on, the bad boy simply becomes the provider to her, at some point. Once he becomes the nice guy, she loses some attraction she initially had.

The crucial difference is that some women can control that. Some can't. If she can't, and you want to be with her, be prepared to share her with other guys. Because if the right guy give her a moment of validation, and suspense, she will be having sex with him real soon.

[21Cowboy21]

Love this answer.

[Paul_in_Indy]

You aren’t entitled to her “putting out.” She can do what she wants. She doesn’t need a reason. Sometimes, you look at that motorcycle and you just NEED to take it for a test drive. Other times, you go back six Fridays in a row to look at the convertible that you are probably interested in.

[21Cowboy21]

Well said brother

[DizzyDesii]

I’d make anyone wait the same minimum of 6 months (yep thats not the max) because thats usually around the length of time it takes to be considered somewhat long-term as well as the time needed for me to have fallen madly in love (which is not the same as just simply loving someone.). So I’m not so sure why others may be so wishy washy with their standards

[red324]

I had a girl do this to me. She had all these insuriciriteis about her body that she changed her mind of us having sex even though she spent the night. Then she Said she wanted to go hoe around basically. I think she fucked other guys she didn't care about what they thought of her, but she was concerned about my opinion of her. My respect and attraction for her disappeared after that. Dumb bitch

[DizzyDesii]

@red324 well not every girl has “insecurities” like she did. She was just a liar. One bad apple shouldn't spoil the whole bunch. But if that ruined waiting until a girl is ready, okay

[red324]

Nope I'll wait as long as you want as long as you're putting in effort abd we're spending tike together in person. None of this texting forever and never meeting bs.

[red324]

That's interesting that you can take 6 months to fall for a guy yet I go on two dates and they say I don't feel any sparks. Well no shit it's been two dates, it's not going to happen over night

[DizzyDesii]

@red324 no you didn't understand me. I can fall for a guy in a week. I can love a guy in a month. But fallinng in love/being in love is major and greater. Its some ride or die type shit. And that takes about 6 months

[red324]

That's fine but like I said I'll wait as long as she needs as long as she's putting in effort. I know the difference between a girl that likes me and a girl that just wants to text and keep me as her fall back guy when whatever dude she really likes bails on her

[21Cowboy21]

I like your reply. One of my exes this was the case. We both waited and was no problem.

Other ex said she wanted to wait and kept making excuses to delay things while later on I found out was actually because she was seeing 2 different guys quitly on the side so was in no rush with me from her end as she was already having someone else help her out with that. I dumped within 2 weeks after finding out from a mutual friend who saw them by coincidence one day downtown at a pub making out.

[21Cowboy21]

I think with increased transparancy theough social media we see a lot of guys and girls in both camps - but a lot more truths coming out now with both genders. Lots of males and females cheat often - and lots dont. It more depends on the individual. But I feel like a lot of people get a little concerned with waiting for this reason now adays. They feel like if both pwople lile each other and care about each other - why wait? But others may want to get to know each other more deeply and emotionally first as you say which is also good.

[DizzyDesii]

@red324 well like I said, not every girl is like that one that did you wrong. I dont do rebounds. When im single, i’m happily single. When im taken, I give my all if he does the same but not everyone does and then thats when they get dropped.
@21cowboy21 I’ve been in a love triangle many times but always while unofficial with both. Both men knew about eachother and both men agreed to keep getting to know me. There was no physical touching outside of hugs. Once I decided who was for me, I let both know while the other departed and sometimes I decided on no one and we all went our separate ways. But i dont even feel comfortable kissing more than one guy in the same day/week/month, so that certainly didn't happen. These “love triangles” usually last anywhere from 1 week to a month because its just a “getting to know you” stage. Everyone even has to put the “i love you. You’re the one for me” on pause until a decision is made. Sometimes the guy lets me know if he's getting to know another girl. It happens. I’m not bothered as long as no one is getting physical (kisses, sex, oral, etc.) Now i’ve had guys who can't handle waiting more than a month for sex so they’ll tell me they want to screw someone else until im ready. Absolutely not. I will drop him in a heartbeat. Only one guy got away with that and barely but I was 15 and naive at the time. I broke up with him but kept taking him back because i thought he’d change but he didn't. So mo if a guy can't wait, he has to let me go completely.

[21Cowboy21]

I apprecaite that your so honest with your expectations when dating men. Not inly for them to know, but also what they can expect from your end. That is very refreshing to hear. Respect that a lot.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you

[red324]

It's the same with every girl though. I go in two dates then after that it's the excuses.

[LazerBean]

I believe thosewomen think that they can get higher quality men if they stop acting easy for a period of time, but that's not how that works.

[HighValue]

If they have sex right away, she is promiscuous and that will always be a part of her morals. Once the guy she is with that waits finds out about her past, he will likely value her much less and leave her unless he is a low value man and has very few other options.

[21Cowboy21]

Sometimes, but other times peoples life stage may change over time. If I am meeting a girl in my late 20's I'd be very weirded out if she hadn't dated a. whole lot or had an insanely low body count - I may be sub consiously wondering why that is the case if there may be something I should be concerned about accounting for such large gaps when she was not seeing anyone. Other times I agree with you too though

[OfMiceandMen]

Some girls try to use their special talents a little earlier in the relationship to attract the guy they really want. However, she may slow things down, If she is on the fence, and take longer to get to know the guy.

Alternatively, she may have jumped in bed with guys before, and decided enough is enough, I am not putting out until I know for sure this guy is into me.

[Dinklex3]

?

People learn and grow as time passes.

Theyve done it, and don’t want to do it any more.
Boundaries, morals, and comfort levels can change as people grow.

I don’t understand why some men get so butthurt.

[Truthatanycost]

They make rules for Chuck and Tim, and break rules for Chad and Tyrone.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Usually, because she's still busy with the guy she puts out for instantly... maybe on the DL or just mentally.

[Jltakk]

She has a "bang" man and a "hang" man, just using her inventory.

[21Cowboy21]

These are good terms hahahaha. A plan A and a Plan B or two in the back pocket just in case.

[HappyWoman34]

Because they decide to raise their standards and date someone that respects them. Any man worth having will wait for sex.

[21Cowboy21]

Interesting thought to reflect on.

Personally I have not seen any evidence that shows any correlation between the amount of time one waits or not before going on a date with someone, having sex, maybe just oral, or even moving in / marrying someone.

It seems to me some people who have sex right away with a hook up get into great long term relationships out of it if both parties want, and other short term hookups that does not occur or the man is a twat.

But I have also seen plenty of people who wait 6 months then both partners commit to have sex / date officially / move n together can also have great relationships - and sometimes they do not.

But separate of the of the amt of time two people chose to wait for certain milestones - I think whether they both respect each other or not has more to do with the person they are with's lifestyle/personality/goals rather than the amount of time spent waiting for certain things longer/shorter before starting together.

[bamesjond0069]

Because she doesn't respect you. If she did she would fuck you as fast as she fucked other men.

[21Cowboy21]

Sometimes that may be true. Other times it could be she's changed lifestyles a bit from the past. As long as she's not seeing any chads on the side if she is saying ahe has to take a very long waiting time I see no problem with both parties wanting to get comfortable eith the other first ahead of time.

[bamesjond0069]

You're trying to rationalize the outcome. She changed. No she didn't. Stats say people don't change. A heroin addict recovered for 20 years clean and sober is far more likely to do heroin again one time than any random person off the street who never did heroin. Same thing with casual sex. She fucked men immediately because she thought they were very sexy and awesome and she will 99% likely do the same again. The fact she doesn't fuck you means she doesn't value you like that. Yes technically there is like one girl out there that falls into what you said. But the probabilities are not there. It's a dumb bet to take. Do you want to stab yourself in the head with a knife because there's a chance you will live? Yeah one guy did it one time and it wasn't that bad. Dumb bet. So why would you get with a girl who has casual sex for the purpose of her not having casual sex? Dumb Dumb Dumb bet. Add on top of that every other dude inspires her to spread her legs and she can't control herself but with you she doesn't mind waiting. Lmfao. It's just bad.

[21Cowboy21]

I can see that. Thats a good analogy about the past heroin addict - excellent example.

[OddBeMe]

Uhg! Girls have individual rights! I hate it too. We should go back to dowry’s and biblical law.

Seriously, who knows. Mood? Timing? Some guys are good talking to chicks. You know why? They do it constantly and aren’t afraid of letdowns.

[Leopard23]

Sexual desire. Often if a woman feels z man is losing intrest she throws sex out there.

[rachel776]

we never know either

[21Cowboy21]

More comes down tp the two individual people qnd what makes yhem happiest realtive to the other.

Maybe you feel more comfortable engaging right away for something with one person but not for that same event with another.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because they have no standards. They just act on how they feel at that time.

[Anonymous]

If you have to wait 4–6 months, it probably we never work in the long run anyway.

[Anonymous]

Because some guys are good for fun other men we want to wait because we see a future.

[Chthou95]

Because women's logic is hilarious. One guy gets access basically the chad and then the good beta provider has to wait

[Flower7]

Because of liking some men better than others.

[Anonymous]

One was hot. One was not.

[melanieeeB]

Cause she is not interested in you

[melanieeeB]

Oh or she raised her standards and doing her best.

[melanieeeB]

But if you're only in for the sex, do her a favor and leave

[In_Trance]

Because the other is not giving the right signs