Why doesn't she ask questions and show interest in me?

[zayndan]

I love my girlfriend, and I know she loves me too. But from since the beginning, I've been the one to carry the conversations. I'm always asking her things about herself and personal life, showing interest in the things she cares about to know her on a deeper level. She's happy to respond, but she never or barely ask me anything about myself, never tries to carry the conversation, or shoe interest in the things i care about. It's starting to get exhausting for me honestly. I spoke to her about it, but she hasn't tried to make a change. Why does she do this, and what should I do next?

[ShadezMcgee]

Have you tried going to couples counseling? If you have tried talking to her about it and you still want to try and make this work, I would recommend that. If at that point it still feels like nothing has changed, maybe it's time to end the relationship.

What are the best parts about your relationship with her? What are the positives and the negatives?

[zayndan]

It's hard to see the positives now because she no longer does many of the things she used to do. Whenever I bring up the issues I have with her, she gets hurt emotionally, and the change becomes more and more felt.

[ShadezMcgee]

Okay, then maybe try the couples counseling for a bit. During those sessions, listen to what she says. Really listen. You say when you bring the issues up she gets hurt emotionally.

Maybe pull her aside and ask her what's up. It is a pain, but you need to pull it out of her and just listen. Don't try to solve the issue or resolve the problems she brings up in the conversation by getting defensive or alluding to instances that prove you did what she said you weren't.

Just listen to what she says. Repeat back to her key points she says in a way like, "so you feel this way because of x?" Women don't want us to fix problems as they make decisions or have their minds made up already. Their way to having these talks is to just tell you how they feel and they only want you to acknowledge it. If you try solving it, they don't feel heard and understood. Make note of what they say.

They will always refer to their feelings in conversations. Meaning that any time you hurt them, they will always defer to the last argument that hurt her of the same magnitude she is currently feeling.

[zayndan]

Thanks

[WanderingLoveWizard]

That's how women are bro. Don't expect her to ever take an interest in you, and don't assume other girls do it either.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

100% of the girl's I've dated either change the subject or make it about themselves.
It's rare to find a girl who actively gives a shit.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

And by "actively", I mean doing it without prompting

[zayndan]

So I have to settle for this nonsense? 😢

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You don't have to, but chances are you won't find anything better any time soon.
At least in my experience. Maybe some lucky bastard can tell you differently, but remember... he's lucky

[zayndan]

Lol, I like to be optimistic 😆 but she's a great person so I think I'll stick around, and try to passively get her to change. I have a few ideas

[WanderingLoveWizard]

There you go! That's what I do too. Try to ignore the bullshit and focus on the positive lol

[zayndan]

But I can't settle for it. I think if I stop putting so much effort, she'd start to make up for it

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I wish you luck with that my friend. So far nothing I've tried has worked.
Tried that too, but I actually do care so I couldn't do it for very long lol

[MissStrawberry912]

My ex was the same way unfortunately… his reasons were he’s just bad at communicating. Maybe you can talked to her about how it makes you feel love and more connected if she develop the conv more or teaching how to ask about your day and such? I do suggest couple counseling, so you guys learn to communicate and understand each other better

[SeriouslyFunny00]

We are just strangers on the internet and don't know a lot to judge. :) But one thing I can say is some girls are just not good at communicating. I'm one of them before, though I somehow show it by physical affection. How was her attitude towards you?

[zayndan]

She's always affectionate and very clingy. Just yesterday, i asked her how she felt about our relationship, and she said it's better than she ever imagined it would be and how much she loves me. So although a lot of people are saying maybe she isn't interested, ik that's not the case. I mean, why would we be together in the first place, if she wasn't interested in me?

[SeriouslyFunny00]

Exactly. 😄 She wouldn't do all of that if she doesn't love or even like you. Cheer up and this is just a minor communication issue that you can fix. Don't give up too easily on her. Actions speaks louder than words. 🤍

[bedroomeyes]

I do this when I'm not interested in the man whatsoever. I'm a huge proponent of getting to know people without having to ask too questions, but I'll still ask questions for things I can't readily observe, you know?

I also wouldn't enter a relationship with a man I'm doing this to, but I am my own person and cannot speak for her communication style or motives. Try suggesting therapy. If you're sure she is interested in you, there could be another reason she doesn't ask you anything.

[Adam1978]

Accept her as she is don't do like females trying to bend someone into someone else. Some people just are they don't need to talk about and know about everything. You don't need her sticking her nose in everything, because that's basically what you asking for.

[SirJohn42]

I can't speak for her.
I know when I was married I had to do the same thing.
Then it got she woukd avoud me alltogether and she would talk to friends or other guys. She showed more interest in what they had to say. My wife cheated on me and left me. Had another mans baby. Hind sight sucks for me. She was a narcitist.

[Sal77777]

Actually I'm experiencing the same thing with my boyfriend. I always ask him about his interests and life but he barely do the same. I never heard of girls doing that tho so I'm not sure why she's like that with you.
But if it was me I'd probably do that with a guy I'm not interested in but you said you're sure she loves you so I don't really know.

[zayndan]

Idek. In her mind, she believes that she's showing a lot of interest in me. So she was amazed when I told her how I felt. Whenever I stop putting so much effort, she thinks something is wrong because the whole vibe changes, and the conversations drops. Either I have to just settle for this, or move on

[Actor3]

Because she is either so much in love with you that it does not matter. Or getting bored

[Ms_Facesitter]

Maybe she shows interest in other ways.

[PizzaDaddyo]

Great answer!! Not every talks too much… It started with a whisper!🎶

[PizzaDaddyo]

Face sitter aye?

[itsalyssaagain]

It could just be the way she is.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she finds you boring.

[EaterPeter]

You are the lost puppy, she isn't

[In_Trance]

Because she's not interested

[PizzaDaddyo]

This dude gets it!