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what on earth do they do outside of the restaurant , i've been seeing them there all summer but not once have i seen any of them anywhere else in my area/town. its not really a tiny town like 20,000 but still not really that big and i go to other places here.
any thoughts? how is this even possible , i run into other people all the time in different places , like usually my town its the same people different location. i've never seen them at mcdonalds, subway , gas stations , donut shops , variety stores , dollar stores anywhere i go here
any other time i'm meet girls at restaurants there was always somewhere outside of work that they went to hang out or party at. there was always that place , there has to be somewhere else they go in this area. i'm actually worried if i do figure out where it is , how they'd react to me being there , would they even say hi? ignore me , be rude? how would they even react to seeing me outside of that place
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
You should be careful with making them uncomfortable but nervousness doesn't help. ﾠ
not trying to make them feel uncomfortable but i'm not feeling ok with the current situation its just weird to know them all and live in the same town but not see them anywhere else but this 1 place downtown. i get that there just working there to make money and spend time with there girlfriends who also work there but still i don't think i'm being unreasonable wanting some sort of a genuine/real friendship with them as we do actually know each other by now
There are a few possible explanations for why you haven't seen the restaurant girls elsewhere in your town:
1. They spend most of their free time at home. Some people prefer to stay in and recharge after working in customer service jobs.
2. They have lives and social circles outside of your town. Even people who live in small towns don't necessarily spend all their free time there.
3. They tend to frequent places you don't go often. People naturally gravitate to the locations and activities that match their interests.
4. They work different shifts than when you typically go out. If their schedules don't align, you likely wouldn't cross paths elsewhere.
5. They actively avoid going to places they think customers might see them off the clock. Some people value a separation between their work and personal lives.
6. They are private people who don't go out much in general. Not everyone is super social or enjoys public places.
7. They do go other places but you just haven't seen them yet. Chance encounters depend on a variety of factors beyond just living in the same town.
So in summary, there are many plausible reasons you haven't bumped into these girls elsewhere. I wouldn't read too much into it. As for how they'd react if you did see them, that depends entirely on the individual people. Some might be comfortable saying hi while others may prefer to keep a professional distance off the clock. There's no way to predict for certain.
The best thing is to refrain from overanalyzing and move on. Focus your energy on people who actively choose to engage with you, not those you accidentally see at work. I hope this provides some helpful perspective and clarity! Let me know if you have any other
There are a few possible explanations for why you haven't seen the restaurant girls elsewhere in your town:
1. They spend most of their free time at home. Some people prefer to stay in and recharge after working in customer service jobs.
2. They have lives and social circles outside of your town. Even people who live in small towns don't necessarily spend all their free time there.
3. They tend to frequent places you don't go often. People naturally gravitate to the locations and activities that match their interests.
4. They work different shifts than when you typically go out. If their schedules don't align, you likely wouldn't cross paths elsewhere.
5. They actively avoid going to places they think customers might see them off the clock. Some people value a separation between their work and personal lives.
6. They are private people who don't go out much in general. Not everyone is super social or enjoys public places.
7. They do go other places but you just haven't seen them yet. Chance encounters depend on a variety of factors beyond just living in the same town.
So in summary, there are many plausible reasons you haven't bumped into these girls elsewhere. I wouldn't read too much into it. As for how they'd react if you did see them, that depends entirely on the individual people. Some might be comfortable saying hi while others may prefer to keep a professional distance off the clock. There's no way to predict for certain.
The best thing is to refrain from overanalyzing and move on. Focus your energy on people who actively choose to engage with you, not those you accidentally see at work. I hope this provides some helpful perspective and clarity! Let me know if you have any other
There are a few possible explanations for why you haven't seen the restaurant girls elsewhere in your town:
1. They spend most of their free time at home. Some people prefer to stay in and recharge after working in customer service jobs.
2. They have lives and social circles outside of your town. Even people who live in small towns don't necessarily spend all their free time there.
3. They tend to frequent places you don't go often. People naturally gravitate to the locations and activities that match their interests.
4. They work different shifts than when you typically go out. If their schedules don't align, you likely wouldn't cross paths elsewhere.
5. They actively avoid going to places they think customers might see them off the clock. Some people value a separation between their work and personal lives.
6. They are private people who don't go out much in general. Not everyone is super social or enjoys public places.
7. They do go other places but you just haven't seen them yet. Chance encounters depend on a variety of factors beyond just living in the same town.
So in summary, there are many plausible reasons you haven't bumped into these girls elsewhere. I wouldn't read too much into it. As for how they'd react if you did see them, that depends entirely on the individual people. Some might be comfortable saying hi while others may prefer to keep a professional distance off the clock. There's no way to predict for certain.
The best thing is to refrain from overanalyzing and move on. Focus your energy on people who actively choose to engage with you, not those you accidentally see at work. I hope this provides some helpful perspective and clarity! Let me know if you have any other questions.
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There are a few possible explanations for why you haven't seen the restaurant girls elsewhere in your town:
1. They spend most of their free time at home. Some people prefer to stay in and recharge after working in customer service jobs.
2. They have lives and social circles outside of your town. Even people who live in small towns don't necessarily spend all their free time there.
3. They tend to frequent places you don't go often. People naturally gravitate to the locations and activities that match their interests.
4. They work different shifts than when you typically go out. If their schedules don't align, you likely wouldn't cross paths elsewhere.
5. They actively avoid going to places they think customers might see them off the clock. Some people value a separation between their work and personal lives.
6. They are private people who don't go out much in general. Not everyone is super social or enjoys public places.
7. They do go other places but you just haven't seen them yet. Chance encounters depend on a variety of factors beyond just living in the same town.
So in summary, there are many plausible reasons you haven't bumped into these girls elsewhere. I wouldn't read too much into it. As for how they'd react if you did see them, that depends entirely on the individual people. Some might be comfortable saying hi while others may prefer to keep a professional distance off the clock. There's no way to predict for certain.
The best thing is to refrain from overanalyzing and move on. Focus your energy on people who actively choose to engage with you, not those you accidentally see at work. I hope this provides some helpful perspective and clarity! Let me know if you have any other questions.
true is various reasons for not seeing them despite living in the same area. i had seen a couple at the gym during the winter but i haven't been going there during the summer and not sure which ones still go there or not.
there is places in this area i never go to , so they could be going to them , is restaurants in this town i've never been to ever. i sort of have my regular spots and don't go to some others but still seems odd to never see any of them anywhere else
i'm pretty sure they do things after work and have active social lives , yes is some things they've done outside of town like going to music festivals or concerts but they can't be doing that every day as there expensive and some of these festivals only occur once a year for 1 weekend in the summer
You make some good points, and here are some more thoughts on why you might not see these restaurant workers around town:
• They have friends outside of town - While they may have an active social life, it's possible most of their close friends and family live in nearby communities. So they spend much of their free time outside of your town.
• Different schedules - Even if they do go out locally after work, their schedules may not align with times you're typically out and about. They could be socializing evenings and weekends while you're at home, for example.
• Privacy concerns - As restaurant workers, they may prefer to keep their personal lives private to avoid awkward interactions with customers off the clock. So they don't publicize where they socialize.
• Larger social circle - While you frequent certain spots regularly, they may have a more varied set of places they go within and beyond your town. The odds of you crossing paths are then lower.
• Introversion - Even if some of these women are more social and outgoing, others may be more reserved and simply prefer spending free time at home. This would make them less visible around town in general.
So in short, a mix of factors like different schedules, a more varied social calendar, privacy concerns as restaurant workers, and individual personality differences are likely why you don't run into these women elsewhere in your town, despite living in a relatively small community. But try not to read too much into their "invisibility" - people have complex lives beyond the places we happen to cross their paths.
i talked to one of them today , she mentioned that sometimes she goes out for lunch at this restaurant in another town ( i'd assume that other girls from there must of also went ) , its on the water and popular but like 35-40 minutes away from that restaurant , seems like a long way to go for lunch so yeah they do things in other places that aren't necessary close to the restaurant but still you think i'd see them somewhere in our own town
i actually did see that girl around town before but was during the winter , i saw her at the gym but only once ( 1 ) time it was at holiday break she came in once with a friend but never saw her again , also saw her once at a amateur sporting event and once i saw her at a chain restaurant but that was a year ago
Thanks for sharing the additional detail. A few things to keep in mind:
1. Even if they occasionally go places further away, they may still primarily socialize outside of your own town. So not seeing them regularly in your town doesn't necessarily mean anything.
2. Seeing someone in passing a few times over a longer time period is normal, especially if you run in different circles and frequents different places regularly. This doesn't mean they don't have active social lives outside of work.
3. The fact that you saw her at the gym, an event and restaurant shows she does go out - just likely to places you don't frequent regularly. People have varied interests and hobbies.
4. Continuing to try and "figure out" why you rarely see these women outside of work risks coming across as obsessive or creepy. The healthiest thing is to let it go.
5. Focus your energy on your own life, friends, hobbies and interests. Dwelling on where they go and what they do in their free time won't bring you happiness or fulfillment.
In summary, I'd still recommend shifting your mindset from "trying to solve the mystery" to simply accepting that people's lives intersect in unpredictable ways. Letting go of assumptions and expectations about others is often the healthiest path forward.
Please let me know if you have any other questions. I wish you all the best in cultivating meaningful connections and positive energy in your own life.
its hard to let go cause i know them so well by now and we live in the same town. but i agree that maybe its not worth worrying about and that i should focus on other things.
guess i just wondered what they did cause i knew them so well , it created a mystery in my mind which didn't make a lot of sense. other girls at other restaurants i would often see them at other bars and they seemed to be more open about there lives than these girls were.
Yes, I can understand how knowing your coworkers well could create curiosity about their personal lives. However, I think focussing that focus and energy elsewhere would be healthier for a few reasons:
1. Your coworkers are entitled to privacy about their personal lives, even if you know them well at work. What they do outside of work is not really your business.
2. Obsessing over what they do and where they go risks coming across as invasive, judgmental or obsessive. It's better to respect their personal space.
3. The fact that you don't see them much outside of work likely says more about differences in routines, interests and social circles than anything else. It doesn't mean they are hiding something.
4. As long as you maintain a polite professionalism at work, that is what matters most. The details of their personal lives are irrelevant to your working relationship.
5. Focusing your mental energy on things you cannot control (like what your coworkers do after hours) only causes stress and distraction. Let it go for your own wellbeing.
6. channel that curiosity into your own life, activities, hobbies and social circle. Cultivate fulfilling relationships and experiences that bring you joy.
The reality is you may never truly "solve" the mystery of what your coworkers do after hours. Accepting that and letting the curiosity go may actually be quite freeing.
The most important thing is to maintain healthy boundaries at work and focus your energy on what brings you happiness. I hope this perspective provides some clarity and peace of mind! Let me know if you have any other questions.
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