Am I too possessive if I love being the only female in my male friends group?

[Anonymous]

So, I grew up with a brother, 1 year younger than me, he had lots of friends, I grew up being spoiled by him and his friends too, because he was very respected and everyone admired me because of him.

So, I was used to being the only girl and quite honestly I loved being in the spotlight and being the only girl who had access to all this guy talks and secrets.

I was quite girly and they always respected my presence with them but I always felt the best in those kind of situations.

So, now at work, my whole office are guys and we have girls in another office but the guys are the closest to me. As they are also foreigners and we found a lot in common.

So, tomorrow we have a day off and I wished to go out, they all decided to come and have fun along with me. So tomorrow, there will be 4 of them and me going out to do some aim shooting and karting and I am very excited and also, what excites me is that I am the only girl there and feel in the spotlight again.

Am I being childish for enjoying that?

[molonski2]

No , I don't think so I think many people feel like that , I go out with a group of females , golfers and caddies here , most are married , my interest is completely no sexual , and we have a great time , I'm always the only guy , and I really love it like that , one time another guy turned up , and it was still really good , but the dynamic changed , at the end of the night they tell me " We not bringing again khun Molonski , was no good " ,

I just said fair enough , so I get what you like about it.

[nastyb]

yes. I do think its a bit childish. Its a type of thing teen girls tend to like. By your age, I would assume you've outgrown that. But honestly... I think that you are very needy of attention. Its not that you simply like the spotlight. Everyone likes the spotlight to a certain extent. But You are "in need of MALE attention". You're likely insecure to a certain level or you are the type who does things to get approval from men.

But understand that as you get older, you will find that there are a lot more guys that aren't single. So just because you are the only girl in the male group, it doesn't necessarily mean they admire you. Just because they laugh with you, it doesn't mean they will leave their wives or gfs for you or be open to your advances.

[rienna888]

I think it’s normal, I feel this way too. So there’s no competition and I notice guys will try to put down a female to impress another.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think a lot, if not most people like to stand out in their group as the nexus for the others. My understanding is that position is actually vied for by the dominant personalities over time. Celebrities are popular to much of the population. That seems the same thing on a larger scale I suppose.

[Asker]

Why would that position be competed by dominant personalities?

I actually don’t come off that dominant next to these guys and that’s probably what makes them want to be open to me.

I come off opposite, yesterday one of them was telling me to “protect myself out there” because Shanghai is full with predators and I am too good.

I guess they feel a but protective of me.

[BoopBoopBeep]

People want to be the star, not the supporting actor. Everybody wants to be the cool kid, not the sidekick to the cool kid. You don't have to come off as dominant next to THEM (they'd not be as interested then), but you're dominant next to the other woman. I'd stick around, but Black Cat Appreciation day was last Thursday and there's a charity 5k I'm heading out for.

[Asker]

I wish you good luck

[nastyb]

@lafemmefatale_1

they're not protective of you. I tell all my friends to "stay safe" or "watch out for yourself... let me know if you ever need anything". It means nothing but just concern for a fellow human being.

You're acting as if this is a love note or some sort of man looking to die saving you.

[Friendlybro79]

Possibly. I'd say it's childish if you expect to be the only female around other guys in your circle all of the time. It's a little attention seeking in my opinion. Are you allowed to enjoy it when it do happens to be this situation every once in a while... yes.

[Asker]

I don’t seek to be the only one, I invited some other girls from another office, because I usually make great friends with girls.

But she has a 2 year old at home and couldn’t find time to come with me.

So now that I am left alone with them, I am going to enjoy it.

[Friendlybro79]

Well you didn't say that lol. I wouldn't worry so much about these things. Have a good time!

[Sevenpointfive]

i wouldn't call you possessive but you could be an attention whore or just one of the guys. it's actually nice to know a girl who gets guys, so until you start fighting off their girlfriends, i think it's perfectly okay to like hanging out with whomever you like

[Anemone978]

Yes.. if you need that much male attention you obviously have something wrong in your life lol

[Asker]

Nope, I don’t need it

I just enjoy it when it happens

[Asker]

My best friends are girls and I love spending time with them, I am also an amazing friend to them.

[Anemone978]

You say you love it tho... and seems like now you are changing what you wrote lol You like to have all the attention.. and that is never a good thing especially among friends..

[Asker]

I love when it happens, I don’t go out of my way to befriend men and enjoy that position.

[Anemone978]

Well that is good.. so then how could you be too possessive then? The only way is if you constantly wanted and needed that position.. so you are saying you don't, so what is the point of your question? LOL

[BADASS22]

Every successful & beautiful women deserve men attention and i bet she don't go out of her league to get men attention...

It's just that her aura make everyone happy & they give her attention...

Don't get jealous 🙏

[Anemone978]

@BADASS22 How am I jealous? She asked a question she already knew the answer to? LOL

[BADASS22]

Well I smell something burning from your comment so i replied...
It's ohk to be jealous of her beauty but don't get jealous just because you're not beautiful n not getting attention like she get...

[Anemone978]

@BADASS22 I get enough attention I don't need to be jealous.. Stop protecting people who wouldn't even give you the time of day.. she is out of your league bro LOL

[Asker]

@BADASS22 Thank you for thinking I am beautiful and thanks for standing up for me, I appreciate and I feel flattered ^_^

Though I think she didn’t mean to criticize me in a bad way and I don’t feel offended by her.

I am sure she’s beautiful as well.

Thank you. Have a nice day

[BADASS22]

@anemone97

I know she is out of my league i live in reality sweety i didn't even try to impress her she is queen I'm slave..

Lol 😂

[spartan55]

Yeah, that sends the message that any female attention cannot be shared because you are insecure.

[Wonderingguyy]

Haha it may be a bit petty but do it if it makes you happy

[Asker]

I know it is, that is why I was wondering why I like it

[Grond21]

It's not childish to enjoy it. But it is not something you should focus on artificially creating.

[Emilianorodríguez]

Hahahaha, she is in need of attention, she wants all those manginas to be flattered only to you, I recommend you to mature.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Yes you are your only there friend they have to have a life as well

[Anonymous]

Everyone need your presence to brighten their days...

[Asker]

Aww so sweet

[Jennz6]

Nah, we all love the attention 💃

[Andres77]

It sounds like you’re power-hungry…😜

[Asker]

Why 🫣

[Andres77]

You don’t like sharing power…

[KrakenAttackin]

This is attention whoring.