I’m a single 28 year old woman and a complete failure in every single way. Does life ever get better as you get older or just worse?

Question

Static_In_The_Attic · Accepted Answer

When it rains it pours & unfortunately on the road of life we all hit bumps & hopefully better days will come. In life I always say you should never give up, you should never give in & most of all you should keep moving forward no matter what. As for life it isn’t easy but then again it isn’t hard. In life some people have a lot on their plate & some people have a buffet. As for you I can only imagine how you feel right now & I’m truly sorry to hear what you are going through. As for you it’s time to turn your frown upside down & I have a plan that might be worth trying. Above you said you studied computer science & you worked for two big tech companies after college. At the end of last year you said you got laid off & once again I’m truly sorry to hear that. What I want you to do is if the two companies are still in business reach out to Human Resources in those companies & ask them if you can come back & tell them you are willing to take a pay cut & work at a lower salary. You may not be making six figures but at least you will be working & making some kind of income & hopefully benefits & you can always do your web design business on the side.

You are young, you are smart, you are beautiful & so much more.

Take a chance with your old companies, I double dare you to try.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Don't be so hard on yourself, sis! You're still young and have your whole life ahead of you.

Things may not be perfect right now, but that don't make you a failure. Sometimes it takes time to figure things out. I know plenty of people who bloomed way later.

As for does life get better with age... honestly sis it can go either way. But one thing I do know - your perspective changes.

When you're young everything feels like the end of the world. But as you get some years on you, shit that used to stress you ain't even a blip. You care less about dumb things and more about what really matters.

You also get smarter about taking care of yourself. Boundaries, self-respect, knowing what you will/won't accept. That wisdom alone makes life way more peaceful.

I'd say keep your head high. 28 is nothing - most folks haven't even started yet. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, work on being your best self, and I promise better days are coming. You got this sis, don't give up!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It eventually gets better. 29 was the worse year of my life. I found out I had schizophrenia. Went into a mental health facility for hearing voices and was suicidal. My best guy friend who has loved me since college helped me through it. I realized how much I loved him after that and finally gave him a chance. We started dating this year and it's been nothing but bliss with him.

Things will align in due time. I was like you at 28. Miserable, single and thought I was a failure at everything in my life.

Now I have a career and a boyfriend who I am very much in love with.

Things do get better if you allow it to.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

As long as you are yourself and do things you believe in, it should be OK.

But living this life requires a lot of work and determination.

From my own experience, I can say that loving and accepting myself was the first significant change I really needed in my life. I also agree with the saying: live your life the way that if you look back, you won't regret anything.

johnnydeeeep · Answer

Take heart friend, hold out for about another three years and you will gradually begin experiencing the relief that is is all worthwhile and going somewhere.
From my perspective the problem is that we are told that we are grown-ups at 18 and from then on expected to know everything and live accordingly or we are chastized and ridiculed.
However, speaking from experience and hearing similar from many friends who have gratefully had the same transition, It takes til we're about our early thirties to try on all of the wisdom everyone else passed onto us in this life and have enough experience with it to have enough data to determine what works for us and what doesn't and to begin manking decisions accordingly.
Life is a huge undertaking and though people expect you to make good decisions in any area after making couple of bad ones that's just not how it works. Seems like we have to make a whole fucking bunch of them in all areas to beat it through our thick skulls... But take heart you are right on the cusp of your this far life time of hard won experience paying off... Feel free to message me anytime, and know that You're not doing nearly as bad as you feel and believe you're doing, it just feels that way becauseost people don't have the courage to do what you just did and talk about it, otherwise you would see you are likely ahead of the curve in many areas.

rigmarole · Answer

You sound too attached to bullshit (i. e. luxury good, show horses, etc.). Businesses generally take about 5 years to become profitable when started from the ground up. You have to spend a lot of hours before then to build a reputation and solid clientele. On the positive side, once you make it there, you don't have a boss telling you how to do things. You take the clients you want, you run the company the way you want, you work the hours you want, and you pass on problem clients that just aren't worth the frustration. It's freedom at the end of the day.

BCRanger10 · Answer

I remember feeling that way myself around that same time in my own life. I remember working two jobs, still living at home, not having time for rest or for friends, and in general feeling like my life wasn't going anywhere and fearing it wouldn't.

Now, it's (mostly) the opposite. I'm happily married now with three children, I have a good job, and have no massive debts. Sure, I'd like to make more money and be a homeowner rather than rent, but I'm still in a much better situation now than I was in the 2013-2015 time frame.

It mostly comes down to mindset, choices, and how willing you are to take risks. And above all, gratitude, which ought to drive everything. I know it might seem hard when you feel like you have nothing going for you, but if you can find even the smallest thing - if you can find even the dimmest ember in a pit of darkness - you can find your way to better things.

Miristheiss · Answer

Do something about it.

Evaluate your choices. What choices have you made. How have they turned out?

What are your life goals that you have for yourself? Have the choices you made led to accomplishing/reaching those goals? Have your goals changed? Are the goals you had at 20 still the same goals you value for yourself at 28 and beyond?

If any of your goals have evaded you, make an action plan of changes you can make in your daily habits to help you reach your goals. You likely won't reach those goals unless you take wise actions to achieve them. If you need to tweak your plan then do so.

Since you feel like a failure, what outcomes and goals have eluded you? You sound as if you have not reached any goals.

BadApple69 · Answer

First off why are you a failure? That’s strong language. We all fail at many things, some more then others. The trick is to learn from your failures. Learn and improve. Never look back only forward. Even if today was a complete failure that doesn’t mean tomorrow has to be…. You can make a change. The first change you need is change your attitude. Failure was yesterday, success is tomorrow. Good luck!

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Single at 28 is no big deal, there are tons of women out there your age in the same boat and lots of guys too.

I guarantee you have some great qualities about you that you're not seeing. I think most people that have anxiety and depression tend to focus on the negative things and dwell on them.

I think you should ask a friend what your positive traits are as they can be impartial.

Starrrboy · Answer

Even if you totally wasted your 20s.. there's still 30s and that's not too old to enjoy life and make memories.. especially nowadays!.. it's okay you're just a late bloomer no problem.. Cheer up 😊

SunnyRS · Answer

I won't lie and give false hope like everything will work out.
But it will become better if you try taking initiative, cause if you stop then no positive change can come.
You will find someone if you are looking and will talk to them, if you don't try then you won't receive the results you want.

NikolaiIvanovB41 · Answer

You're a woman. You can just be a house wife so you don't have any excuse to be a failure.

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

I've been there. You will get through this. Work hard and you'll make your own luck. Be grateful for the few clients you have. You've been successful before you can do it again.

Sparkie460 · Answer

Life only gets better if you are determined to make it better. Every day is a new day. It's a perfect day for a new start.  WINNERS NEVER QUIT, QUITTERS NEVER WIN, BE A WINNER.

exitseven · Answer

The only way it will get better is if you make it better. You need to impose your will on the world and not be a passive observer of life

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Gotta seize control of your destiny sis. Turn that shite around...

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

We all need to think positive and not be so hard on ourselves

Yannae · Answer

Life gets better if you make an effort to change it up.

OddBeMe · Answer

So you have no lucrative skills and you don’t meet a lot of people. Sounds like the cures to your problem right there.

boobliker · Answer

yes dress to kill every Wednesday and life will change for you.

Kingofkings1992 · Answer

No, not really. Life is just suffering until we croak

Chirotj · Answer

Same boat. Want a husband can’t find a provider.

jahaims · Answer

You have to make it better.

Twalli · Answer

You've survived 28 years, that's not a failure

Anonymous · Answer

How long have you been single now

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

I WOULDN'T SAY IT GETS BETTER

I’m a single 28 year old woman and a complete failure in every single way. Does life ever get better as you get older or just worse?

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What Girls & Guys Said

We all need to think positive and not be so hard on ourselves

Does not being married or in a relationship after your 30's mean you fail at life?

I’m a single 28 year old woman and a complete failure in every single way. Does life ever get better as you get older or just worse?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We all need to think positive and not be so hard on ourselves

Does not being married or in a relationship after your 30's mean you fail at life?

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