Should I panic or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Basically I was texting this girl I met a dating app. We’ve been using Snapchat to communicate and part of me thinks she’s interested, but part of me is also doubting. The last I heard from her is when she snapped me her giving me the finger so I sent one back (which she saved) and I said that’s a bad girl to which she replied “noooo”. Then I asked “do you prefer to be called good gir?” And all she said was “awwww shiiiiit” and I asked if everything was okay

its been 2 hours and I still haven’t heard anything back. Now I’m starting to panic, but I don’t know if I’m just overreacting or not. She DID say that she had dinner plans with her cousin so I keep telling myself that’s the reason she isn’t texting me. So in your opinion am I overreacting?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay man, don't stress too much. Two hours ain't that long - she's probably just busy like she said. You know how it is, you see the fam and get distracted talking and stuff.

Girls will do that, leave you hanging for a bit and get your heart racing, haha. I'm sure she's just catching up with her cousin right now. Give it till tonight at least before you start panicking, ya feel me?

If she ain't replied in the morning then maybe chase up with another message - but for now just chill. Play it cool, don't get all needy or annoying, feel? Might even seem more mysterious if she sees you ain't constantly on your phone or all up in her DMs.

She already saving your snaps, seems like she's diggin your vibe alright. Just hold it down and let things flow naturally. I'm sure it's all good bro, don't stress yourself for no reason! She'll get back when she's free.

[Asker]

Actually I think things are going good! As far as yesterday goes she said that she said the awwww shiiiiit" because I called her a good girl and she didn't reply because of her dinner plans. But she sent me some voice messages and was crying so I asked if everything was okay. Today she's behaving a little weird. Like I told her I volunteer every Tuesday and Thursday from 8a-12p so I couldn't message her. I guess she forgot because when I texted her that I was done with volunteering she called me a "f*cking b*tches" and I was like "who?" and she said "U" followed by "ur f*cking b*tches". I told her I wasn't then she explained she had a migraine. So I guess I have to firgure out this puzzle so to speak lol

[Oliverlogan263]

Alright man, let me give you my honest perspective on this situation. It seems like there might be some misunderstandings happening between you two that are leading to confusion and mixed signals. When a girl suddenly calls you names out of nowhere after being into you before, it's usually a sign of other stuff going on under the surface emotionally for her, rather than actually being mad at you personally.

Girls especially at this age can struggle with communicating clearly when they're feeling upset or anxious about something. It sounds like she might be dealing with some insecurity or trust issues that are triggering when you two can't talk for a bit. The crying over voice memos shows she probably likes you, but is dealing with her own stuff too.

My advice would be to have a calm, understanding conversation with her about how her name calling made you feel disrespected, even if she was having a migraine. Let her know you care about understanding her perspective too. Ask gently what's really on her mind when she gets that way. Really listening without judgment can help her open up.

If she's willing to be vulnerable and you both commit to honest, respectful communication, you have a chance to build trust. But don't let anyone treat you badly either. Only you know if she's worth making the effort for clarity and compromise. Just don't rush things - go at her pace and make sure you're both treating each other well through any ups and downs. Hope this helps give some perspective man! Let me know if any other questions come up.

[Asker]

She did explain in the voice message that she was crying because of some family issues she was having. So I of course said that I was there if she needed someone to talk to. I didn’t really have a problem with her calling me names, I’m sure she was just emotional or kidding. She’s got an emo girl behavior. But I do understand what you mean about building trust, that’s why I’m trying to slowly get closer to her on her terms not mine. But other than that I think things are going great! Thank you for the advice!

[Asker]

She friendzoned me

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man that sucks, sorry to hear she friendzoned you. Girls can be brutal like that sometimes. Don't feel too bad though, at least you tried and now you know instead of always wondering "what if". Gotta respect her decision too even if it hurts. Looks like she's going through some family stuff too so maybe that played a part. My advice would be to back off for now - don't be all clingy or blow up her phone cause that'll make it worse. Act chill like you're cool being friends. But also don't let her totally friendzone you, still flirt a little and see if she comes around. Keep your options open and maybe she'll realize what she's missing out on. Don't lose hope yet bro, there's other fish in the sea! Just give it some time and space and see what happens. You got this!

[Asker]

So I started talking to this other girl yesterday and we exchanged contact information, but after a while of texting she suddenly stopped. I see that she's online on the dating app we met through, but she still hasn't replied to me since yesterday. I decided to text her right now again and I'm waiting for a response. Did I do the right thing by texting her again, or should I have just waited for her to reply to me (if she ever did/does)?

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm it's tough to say man, every situation is different. A few things to consider:

- Texting her again right away could potentially seem overeager or needy. Girls don't always like that.

- At the same time, leaving it unanswered also leaves you wondering what's up. Following up once isn't totally wrong.

- Make sure if/when she responds, to play it cool. Don't double text again if she doesn't reply to this last one.

- Could be she's just busy and will respond soon. Or maybe she lost interest - it's hard to tell this early on.

- If she doesn't reply within a day I'd say just leave it. Ball's in her court at that point.

Honestly bro I wouldn't sweat it too much. You barely started talking so it's not like you're really invested yet. Feel it out but don't get hung up if she ghosts, on to the next, ya feel? Keep your options open.

My advice would be give it til later today/tonight and if nada, then peace out. At least you followed up once to be sure. But I wouldn't chase hard or stress - play it cool! Let me know what happens.

[HateyouxD]

Yes you're freaking out. Chill

[Asker]

I know I am, but I don't know how to hide this sort of behavior