How can I summarize or define a person who always wants something, but won't even let me talk?

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm dealing with a situation where this girl always wants me to do things for them... cook, clean (stuff like a load of laundry), listen to their stupid mother fucking problems, deal with their problems or solve them. But, will not let me speak about things that interest me... will cut me off, start talking to someone else, and basically ignores me when they don't want something. She does supply me with alcohol and any material possessions I'd like, but I feel like I'm just a tool and ignored.

I don't understand because I listen when they speak, I sympathize, and give my own feedback to their dilemmas (positively receptive to that), but when it comes to me... nothing, and no interest in it whatsoever. We only seem to match interests if I talk about sex or want sex... she will go out of her way to suck my dick dry or be my extra cumdumpster, but if it comes to something like an issue I'm having... I feel ignored as if I mean nothing.

How do I define this behavior? Is there a psychology theory I should look at?

To me, this sounds a lot like how kids treat their parents minus the sex stuff. Does she think I'm her Daddy or some bullshit like that?

She's starting to piss me off with it and I will kick her ass out. I'm on the edge of just texting her and calling her a stupid mother fucking bitch just to start a fight with her. Bitch better listen when I'm talking about Diablo 4 and political theories... not just when I talk about girls sucking my dick!

[Rosexøxø]

it’s called tolerance. She doesn’t hate you but she doesn’t like you…

she is tolerating you but when you bring forth conversation personality and such she will not want that. Unless it’s something she benefits from.

Your conversations don’t benefit her. Your cock and any other thing/service you may do for her/ provide her with clearly does benefit her.

You’re not a tool if you’re getting something out of it as well. Something you want.

The problem is you started expecting her to be someone you can entrust things to and this isn’t her forte nor something she’s interested in. You need to not associate any feelings or attachment with her. You need to find someone else you can discuss with vent to and theorize/brainstorm with.

she's not on your intellectual level, and she’s not interest in intellectual exchanges with you, nor emotional ones. It’s purely materialistic.

The word is not only tolerance, but manipulation because if she’s asking for things for you and not giving stuff you ask for in return and she’s only giving sexual favors for her requests later and her own orgasm then… it seems to benefit her more. She doesn’t hear you out and doesn’t seem agreeable if you ask for something else or something more valuable to you than sex.

Maybe you value the conversation more; maybe you don’t, but as for feelings it looks one sided. As for favors it’s mutual but you probably do more.

Look at all the pros and cons and weigh them. You can stay with her for sex and find someone else to converse with, or you can close ties off with her and find someone else who would do both? A girlfriend? 🤷‍♀️ a friend with benefits?

Not trying to promote or offend, but these are the facts:

she doesn’t have your best interest in mind

she (as you said) doesn’t listen/ reciprocate in conversation or chores/tasks.

She’s rude and not a good listener and doesn’t try or apologize/ communicate that.

She asks for favors that don’t seem to be real needs: laundry/ I don't know a soda or something instead of something like help with a car or a loan (those aren’t fun but it would make sense why she was giving sex for those, but sex for laundry seems a bit sketchy to me).

Well the word certainly is tolerance and some other words for people who make use of relationships/partnerships where they benefit. It’s like purely business. I don't know the word though.

Apologies for that, though.

[Rosexøxø]

Could still be good 🤷‍♀️ could be replaced. I don’t know it’s your call and the biggest thing is you don’t have to worry about her necessarily and if you’re unhappy with any relationship or circumstance you can and should find a way to make it benefit you equally so.

If you benefit from this, find someone else to provide what else you need/ could use. If you don’t feel like you’re benefitting make the necessary adjustments.

Best to you!

[Rosexøxø]

Yeah, one more thing- don’t attack her for her rudeness. Can confront her rude behavior and see if she’d be willing to put in effort to adjust her behavior towards you, but if she doesn’t you can cuss her out or so and just move on. Don’t get arrested or violate her physically and such. It doesn’t help 🤷‍♀️

Try to remain calm and just don’t expect her listen next time. She clearly will not offer this.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Almost like you've been a fly on the wall. First, the intellectual part is for sure... I do things like make rap music, play classical guitar, engage in political arguments, meme, write a lot, still study and read as if I'm still in college... her... she shops, eats, watches romance movies or porn, and works as a cook. She's a professional cook and I cook better than her though. It's disparaging.

Second, I'm grasping this transactional part and how maybe I should just take advantage of that and move on mentally to people that can handle it. Stop trying to think she will ever be as engaged in the world like I am. Which is weird because she's the aspiring socialite but she's socially retarded... I hate people, but deal with them with ease. I'm the life of the party, and she's literally that person that has everybody whispering "WTF is going on with her?"

Overall... I like the situation overall on the base needs of stuff... but trying to talk to her is like me trying to talk to my punch BOB and him only responding back with ignoring me. I miss that deep connection shit that I had with other chicks... chicks that had brains. Chicks you could say 32 + 32 =? and they would actually have the right answer to it. My Nintendo 64 would be so depressed right now.

Oh another bitch of mine... I couldn't cuddle with this bitch if I wanted to... the emotional feel from her side is gone as soon as sleep kicks in and the sex stuff is turned off. ... on her side.

It's just frustrating as all fuck. I want to connect and all that but she's like brain dead. She's ultra-connected to base needs like eating, sex, sleep, buying shit, and that's about it... talk about something like a possible planet out there that hasn't been detected... she's instantly braindead.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You made so many good points though... you might not know it but I think this might help me guide myself into just... using it as best I can in the utilitarian sense. Don't fuck up a good thing... just add to it what I need and what I'm missing.

[Rosexøxø]

You hate people because you know people lol 😆

You handle them well because you’re self aware/ open to learning/ and you’re somewhat observant of them. I say that because that’s the common denominator with those who socialize well but have a high disliking for people, and you mentioned her activities in summary as well as your own, so you’ve definitely noticed and indicated being observant.

She may get along with a few people because of her ignorance and she may not get along because people can see how slow she may be and possibly shallow.

You described a bit of what I had explained quite well:

Transactional / Utilitarian.

I said materialistic (I believe, I don’t remember).

And in the arena of emotions there’s just tolerance there. You can tolerate her as well and utilize the dynamic of the relationship, or discard it altogether.

Definitely a learning point. I wouldn’t have recommended utilizing thr situation as “using her back,” if she had feelings for you and was naive, but this girl has no feelings for you (from what it seems ), and she- I just don’t think you could hurt her emotionally if you ignored her in conversation and such. You could if you obviously insulted her or so.

She MAY become reactive if she loses a “listening buddy,” but if she has other buddies then she wouldn’t be offended or hurt by anything you don’t say.

I was a bit unsure if I worded it all alright, so glad you were able to gather some takeaways.

Continue to invest in yourself because those are good hobbies and definitely use this situation as a learning opportunity.

Glad I could help :]

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm drunk now... I'm just listening to this and really relating.
https://youtu.be/wKWJRmsD9qo?si=QWfLGQgwh5Bf3QHc

[D_Bonez_nutt]

What you wrote here really helped me "categorize" my own situation. ... I needed that outside perspective. You helped a dude out here. Thanks.

[Rosexøxø]

@D_Bone_Steak

Reminded me of this song. Don’t know if you’ve heard. Maybe it vibes maybe not, but I like it quite a deal lol

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NUO9F4eUO_A

[Rosexøxø]

@D_Bonez_nutt no probs! That’s usually my aim. If I see someone’s struggling and I can kind of familiarize myself with a type of person in their situation I try to warn them, and show them some extra options. Sometimes relationships can be confusing when you’re like dealing with it right in the middle of it. If anything, if what I say doesn’t help them or resonate, hopefully the last thing I did was share a helpful and different perspective.

Hope things go well with you! 🤞

[midnightmoon05]

Why I don’t have female friends (I work with 99% of them) they do nothing productive but complain… and spend money they don’t have.

My teen daughter wonders why I don’t have a lot of girl friends… I told her I don’t have time for them.
she is learning to make friends who are at her level of intelligence as well as hobby vs…little bitches who goes shopping with their parents money and failing school.

[kylee2437]

Both of you are supplying each other with ungenuine energy. You keep her around because she’s supplying a low vibrational habit of yours meanwhile you are supplying her low vibrational complaining. Using each other to say the least.

[laly520]

its being annoying n immature

[D_Bone_Steak]

Is it me or her?

[D_Bone_Steak]

Both of us?

[laly520]

her obviously

[Posithink]

At least she's a RILF, in the worst case. I love rilfs.

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Posithink Retard I'd Like to Fuck (RILF)? 😂 My man...🤣