Why does my mom not like me very much?

[Anonymous]

I got accepted at a better job today, told her over the phone and she was happy for me. When i came home; i usually get to her room to greet her and have a little chat, and give her more details about the job, she ignored me, and stared at what i was wearing a bit, then she started to rant about her day, every time i try to bring up my day she either stare at her phone or flat out talk about herself. She isn't happy for me, not excited, nothing. Also i discovered i have covid, but the only is coughing so i didn't know earlier, she was like meh when i told her, didn't see that look when a mother discovers something wrong with her kid. I'm good to her i swear, i give presents and compliments, i help and care for her, i also cook for her, do anything she asks, but she always seems to hate my guts for no reason. I hate it, it's draining me and i could feel myself getting insane. I wish i could just not give a shit but i can't.

[Anonymous]

You sure she’s just not that way from how she was raised? Sometimes we may feel like our parents hate us or something but in reality they were raised that way. That’s all they know. Some of them don’t know how to express their selves. I know my cousin felt the same way till she finally talked to her mom. Her mom told her it wasn’t that she hated her, she said she just didn’t know how to talk to her or express herself because growing up her mom was unemotional. Her mom was more like a male in a. way. I know for myself if my kids got covid I’m not worried, I don’t make a big deal out of it especially if I can see they’re ok. Even than if they’re not ok I have to contain my emotions so they don’t panic. Maybe she was raised by her dad, that’s why she is the way she is. There’s a lot of possible reasons.

[Anonymous]

Well, I can tell you right now that your mother is narcissistic, and I’d say you need to do research on it on YouTube and I guarantee it’ll sound just like her.. I know this because my mother is the same, in fact I had a similar thing happen where I came to my mother to tell her I got a new job on the phone, and she just went silent when I was telling her how much I get paid. When I started looking up narcissistic mother/daughter dynamics it all made sense. The reason your mother is this way is because she is jealous of you and doesn’t truly want to see you succeed, her mother or father were probably the same way. Arguments always turn out that she is the victim and you are attacking her. I’d withhold good news from her in the future.

[joe2511]

It's hurtful when someone we care about, especially our parents, seem uninterested in our accomplishments. Unfortunately, we cannot make someone be excited, happy, or interested in us. Have you mentioned to your mom that her behavior is bothering you?

As hard as this may be, I suggest setting some boundaries with your mom, especially if it is affecting your mental health.

[Asker]

I've tried talking to her before, she brushes me off every single time and says you're over dramatic and sensitive, she gives me nasty face expressions and ignores me. I could be burning inside and want her to understand me, she never wants to. I know she's got some mental issues to be this cruel and neglectful to me but damn it hurts.

[joe2511]

I'm sorry to hear that your mom doesn't acknowledge or appreciate you in the way that you need. That is incredibly hurtful. It may be helpful to explore setting some healthy boundaries with her.