My friend and I have this deep emotional connection and we work together. everyone knows we have a bond. We’re both bisexual girls. At my grad party I got really drunk and I kissed her. We made out four times. We both downplayed it after and she said it was platonic because she knew I didn’t mean anything by it and plus we work together. I also kissed my ex boyfriend. I reconnected with my ex for the first time since my graduation party and we talked about that night and how my friend and him actually got along. He told me that that night my friend threw darts at him. He said she only threw them at him. I told my friend about her throwing darts about my ex and she laughed and said she throws darts at her boyfriend too. Then she changed her story and said she thought she was on a “man hating” binge. Then she said she might’ve thrown them because she might’ve wanted someone to play darts with her. She knows he’s still into me ( it’s obvious ) and she acts annoyed by him lol. She knows I love intellectual people in college. I told her my sister didn’t like my ex because she didn’t think he was good enough or in college and right after I said this my friend was like “I’m gonna go back to community college for music and get my degree”. we went to our mutual friends work party and I got really drunk and she got tipsy. She kept calling me “babe” while talking to me which I've never heard her use that word. She was like “babe, you need to eat some chicken” and warmed me up a a plate because I had been drinking. When we told others at the party about the dart incident she said she just wanted someone to play darts with her. I joked about visiting him because he lives across the street. She said if I went to visit him she would throw darts at him again. Later I said “you’re jealous” and she said she was very “into her guy”. I told her she had no right to be jealous because she chose to be in a relationship and she got quiet. Why would she threaten to throw darts again?
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Uh wow, sounds like your friend has some jealous/possessive feelings towards you that she's not handling well. Throwing darts at your ex is just straight up mean and aggressive, no matter the reason. Some red flags:
- Downplaying your drunken kiss but continuing flirty behavior like calling you babe. Confusing mixed signals there.
- Changing her story on the dart thing multiple times, plus threatening to do it again if you saw your ex. Aggressive and kinda scary behavior.
- Getting quiet/defensive when you said she had no right to be jealous cuz she's with someone else. Shows there may be some real jealousy there.
I'd be careful trusting what her motives are, especially with how confused she gets about platonic vs romantic feelings. Throwing weapons at your ex is just not ok! Seems like she might want more from you than you do from her, and is taking it out on your ex.
I'd create some distance for now. Make time for other friends too til she sorts her head/heart out. And def don't let her pull any aggressive stuff again - that crosses a line. Take care of yourself here!