My friends with benefits (30F) doesn’t really seem to want to be friends?

[Anonymous]

I met my friends with benefits “M” through a MeetUp group. I was instantly physically attracted to her and we started flirting a bit each MeetUp. Eventually, we hook up and agree that neither of us is looking for anything serious. I’m new to the area so I’m just looking to date around. Her job requires her to travel up to four days a week and she’s in grad school.

While the sex has been great these past few months, I’ve noticed that she doesn’t really care to cuddle or really talk about anything deeper than small talk. She seems very cold and against any type of affection outside of anything leading to sex. Not only that, she just seems to be negligent in the “friends” part of the “friends with benefits” relationship. She’s hard to get to know. She barely asks me anything about myself. She never wants to spend the night and leaves about thirty minutes to an hour after sex (I offered her to spend the night and I could cook breakfast in the morning and she said that she had to be up early in the morning to go to the gym). She never wants to hang out. Any time I ask her to hang out, she comes up with an excuse (ex: I had tickets to a concert gifted to me at a raffle at work and she said she had school work)

Should I talk to her about this at the risk of seeming needy or clingy or just go ahead and end things?

[avery58]

I thought most people in that kind of relationship care more about the sexual benefits than the actual friendship. Friends with benefits is pretty much routinely hook-ups

[Asker]

Sure sex is the main focus but with friends with benefits that I’ve had in the past, we still got to know each other and still went out and did things like concerts, movies, festivals, and even international trips.

[ProbablyClueless]

A lot of people approach FWBs the way she is. They do it that way to kill off any feelings from forming.

Which... in my opinion... why TF are you even having sex then?

[Asker]

With friends with benefits that I’ve had in the past, we still got to know each other and still went out and did things like concerts, movies, festivals, and even international trips.

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, I'm right there with you. The colder way of doing things sounds absolutely awful. I want the women I'm having sex with to be my homies lol

[Avicenna]

Depends what you really want here. Ask yourself if you really want a relationship. It won't be with her, though.

[Asker]

I don’t want a relationship at all, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want companionship.

[Avicenna]

friends with benefits is an unstable situationship. It is fraught with problems.

[In_Trance]

So what's wrong with the sex?

[Asker]

Nothing. The sex is great. That’s not the issue here…