Girls, Why does my married friend love my affection?

[Anonymous]

I have this friend who is married for 9+ years. I known her for over a year now. In that time span we both went through some tough things in life an was there for each other. I don’t know how it happened.

But I went from my hand on her shoulder to the middle of her back while talking to her. Now to her lower back/waist from grabbing her. It’s too the point where if she thinks I’m going to grab her by the waist or lower back she leans into it. I only noticed because she almost fell. I asked her was my touch offending her or making her uncomfortable she said no. I didn’t think too much into it.

Weeks later she thinks I’m mad at her or I’m mad in general if I don’t touch her at all throughout the day that we are around each other. We can sit and have meaningful deep conversations and she likes to laugh at my jokes or witty remarks. She’s becoming too helpful as well. She helps me when I don’t need help. Like she has to be near me. She once walked near me just to put on her jacket.

Is my friend ok?

[fartingspinster]

Be careful... going too far can create a very sticky situation and a lot of unnecessary drama. Although I love the fact that you two were their for each other when times were tough - respecting a marriage is important. Both from your end and her end. If she doesn't have respect for her own marriage and she's entertaining the thought of getting emotionally invested in you as a romantic relationship, I think you need to exercise boundaries and clarify your stance.

If you see her as a romantic partner, I wouldn't do anything until she decides what she wants. Either stay in the marriage or leave. But most often they won't ever leave. Dont fall for things like "I will leave, just give me time" because they'll be stringing along you and the husband.

[Asker]

I don’t even see her romantically. She has nice assets about her but romantically no. She’s a very nice woman and all. I think emotionally we bonded and things kind of went left. I met her kids and they love me. Surprisingly remember my name. Our friendship has made us closer than I ever expected. But not too close. If that makes sense. That’s one thing I do is respect marriage. I had to explain somethings to her from her husband pov and the reason why I wouldn’t as a man do things she thought was ok.

[fartingspinster]

That's a very honorable stance and I wish more people were like that.
I'm sorry she's putting you in a sticky situation, and I hope she values your friendship enough to stop putting you in a bad spot.

I wish you all the best!

[Asker]

Thank you. Hope you have a nice rest of your week.

[Nikki1989]

While it's possible, your friend is simply expressing platonic affection in an unusual way, her behavior also suggests a potential emotional connection that goes beyond friendship.

[Asker]

She became jealous out of no where. She told me she didn’t like this lady I was talking to. Few days later she tried to tell me not to talk to her. I had to tell her I can talk to who I wanted to talk to. Then she becomes overly concerned about me and helpful as well (I know that sounds stupid) It’s new to me.