Why i'm always saying sorry? if its not my mistake also, still saying sorry and how to overcome this behaviour?

[unknowngurll1212]

[Nik1hil]

You shouldn't try to overcome this behaviour..

It's good to be polite..

And if a Girl is capable of Apologizing it shows she is capable to Taking accountability, which is RARE and Good quality women.. and Men fight each other over Such women TO MARRY who are able to accept accountability, and Apologise.

What you need to Learn is after being accountable and Apologising if it doesn't work then how to Make your stand and even be Rude if necessary..

But first step should be polite apologetic behaviour..

[unknowngurll1212]

:) hmm..

[Blunky]

Sounds like people pleasing behavior, usually to avoid conflict and seek validation. The cure? Stop caring what people think of you. Which is damn near impossible for people your age.

[unknowngurll1212]

hmm.. wokay :) nd thnq

[Douglas1180]

LOL then you won't be sorry

[Blunky]

... Don't know about that. People pleasing isn't an inherently bad behavior. It's often a trauma response as well. It's when you do it without boundaries that you are guaranteed to be taken advantage of by people who don't appreciate it.

You don't have infinite energy to give to everyone. Put a limit on how much you give to others and save some for yourself.

[unknowngurll1212]

hmm.. i see

[SteveSmith1985]

I have known girls (still do) who have this problem. It actually really really bothers me.

It makes me feel weird because... I don't understand why they feel the need to apologize for something where no apology is in order.

It makes me think I'm making a girl think I'm upset, disapproving, offended or something... for absolutely no reason. So I end up wondering what I've done to give her the impression she needed to deliver these totally unnecessary apologies.

I think it's great that you're looking to change this. I'm afraid I have no idea how.

I just ask them to please stop apologizing for nothing, and explain how it's not needed in whatever situation she's apologizing for no reason. After a few times, she stops doing it with me.

Whether that requires effort on her part, I have no idea. I don't know how much of a habit it is, or how hard it may be to stop. I do know that all of them did stop.

It may be completely unwarranted, but it makes me make an assumption. I assume that a woman picked-up this habit, because she had a period in her life, where she DID feel the need to apologize for everything and anything to someone who frightened her.

In other words, I've always assumed it was a trauma response. That may be totally incorrect, I don't know. But if it is, it may be a matter of talking to someone (trained) about the underlying trauma.

I do think that this is a really good thing for you to try and stop doing. It makes you look overly subservient or deferent.

You're equal to anybody else. Unnecessary apologies make it look as though you've forgotten that.

🙂

[unknowngurll1212]

That’s a really insightful take on it! I never thought about how it might make others feel. I guess it’s just a habit, but you’re right—I don’t need to apologize for things that aren’t my fault. I’ll definitely work on it. Thanks for sharing your perspective...

[SteveSmith1985]

You know, I guess I don't really know if it bothers other people the way it bother me. Probably not most people actually. Probably not women.

If you were a guy I would also feel differently about your unnecessary apologizing. It would be annoying, but it wouldn't bother me nearly as much as it does from a woman. It wouldn't bother me for the same reason either.

Hmmm, I'm now thinking I might just be particularly sensitive to this, and am interpreting it through my own specific experiences, biases and whatnot.

I am less confident as many guys share this view as I was when I wrote it. This may just be a "me" thing.

Either way, I think its a good habit to break.

(You're a mystery to everybody @unknowngurll1212 , but you sure have made me think...)

🙂

[unknowngurll1212]

That’s really thoughtful of you to reflect on it! It’s interesting how personal experiences shape our reactions. Either way, I agree—it’s a good habit to break...

[Anonymous]

Over-apologizing often stems from underlying factors like low self-esteem, a desire to avoid conflict, or past experiences that instilled a sense of constant responsibility. It can also be linked to anxiety or a tendency towards people-pleasing. To overcome this, practice becoming more aware of when you apologize, and consciously replace unnecessary apologies with alternative phrases like "thank you," or simply stating your perspective without feeling the need to take blame. Building self-confidence and setting healthy boundaries are also key to breaking this habit.

[unknowngurll1212]

hmm :) thnq

[Subtle_Luminescence]

Maybe it has something to do with your self esteem or anxiety.

Just try to analyse and grasp the situation to see if you're REALLY at fault. If not, then don't apologise at all.

[unknowngurll1212]

hmm ok thnqqq : )

[TadBehaya]

Perfectly said, as usual. 🎯

[Subtle_Luminescence]

@TadBehaya hah. Thanks.

[glennos89]

I think because you are a people pleaser and want to make everyone happy. You try to avoid conflict and want to make everyone happy. You have a sweet personality but people tend to take advantage of that so be careful

[unknowngurll1212]

hmm, that actually makes a lot of sense. I do like keeping things peaceful, but yeah, i guess i need to be more awarew of when it's unnecessary and thnkz for the reminder, definitely something i should work on...

[glennos89]

Don't let anyone blame you for something you haven't done ever period! It's okay to let them know you are sticking up for yourself.

People who blame others for their own mistakes are often selfish or narcisstic

[unknowngurll1212]

aww, you’re right! i really need to work on that. gotta remind myself that standing up for myself isn’t being rude.. it’s just knowing my worth. thnQ for looking out, appreciate it! 💙

[glennos89]

Your welcome! I know how men can be so I'm happy to help woman to make sure they won't get damaged by the wrong guys.

There is nothing rude about sticking up for yourself! It's actually extremely important that you set clear boundary's for yourself and for others not to cross. You need to do that to protect yourself from getting hurt.

[unknowngurll1212]

Aww, that honestly means a lot! 🥹 It’s really sweet of you to care, and I truly appreciate that. You’re so right—boundaries aren’t rude; they’re necessary. Gotta start taking that more seriously! Thanks for looking out, really appreciate your kindness. 🤍...

[glennos89]

Ahww thanks, your kindness make me blush 😳🙈

You deserve to find a good husband someday and he will be a lucky man for sure!

If you need more advice in the future on any subject don't hesitate to ask me! Wether its publicly or privately I'm always willing to help.

Ps if you want to ask me anything privately make sure to go to my account and follow me otherwise you can't send private messages

[unknowngurll1212]

aahh, that’s so kind of u to say! 😊 honestly, that means a lot... and haha, blushing, huh? guess kindness has that effect sometimes! 😆 i really appreciate your support, and it’s nice knowing I can reach out if I ever need advice. You’re a good soul! ✨

[jahaims]

Trauma response from unhealed trauma. Usually if you are a peace maker in the family or were blamed a lot or punished too harshly. Those and many others can be triggers.

[unknowngurll1212]

but its not as im the youngest one in my fam like ya pampered one.. but yes one point can b right as ya i love peace atmosphere like no conflicts.. maximum i like no conflicts or argmnts

[bowenw]

You are probably polite or want to avoid confrontations.

[unknowngurll1212]

yeah but its really bad being soo sry always ri8 :)

[bowenw]

Agreed as it is what I'm normally like.

[Smile456]

Could have to do with how you're parents treated you as a child. Happened to me and it's similar. People pleasing.

[unknowngurll1212]

i.. actually was the youngest and pampered one in my house :)

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

you're sorry for yourself

[unknowngurll1212]

:) ..

[Douglas1180]

Move to America.

[unknowngurll1212]

loll but why

[Douglas1180]

LOL then you won't be sorry

[unknowngurll1212]

well i didn't get tht logic... how come?

[Douglas1180]

It's just something you learn in business school... don't apologize. Have you heard an American apologize?

[unknowngurll1212]

uhmm.. nope

[Douglas1180]

Admitting fault can cost money. Instead you say "We understand your concern and we are working to resolve the issue."

[unknowngurll1212]

ohhhh i c

[Agape93]

It's anxiety. You need therapy, it'll help.

[unknowngurll1212]

maahn noo but... why :)

[Agape93]

Because it helps

[RedInnocent69]

Maybe you’re Canadian

[unknowngurll1212]

haha, what do u mean by that? do Canadians say sorry a lot? 😄well.. im not Canadian..

[RedInnocent69]

Yeah, like a lot