How do I politely avoid a school mum who bullied me in high school?

[Anonymous]

My daughter has just started school and she's made very good friends with a little boy called Connor. Connor is her little play ground boyfriend 🤣 and they think they are married and play mummys and daddy's together at lunch time.

I've only heard about Connor from my husband as he usually picks up from school as im still at work.

I've managed to get a couple shifts moved around now so I can pick her up instead after school. She came out holding hands with little Connor and said "mummy look mummy this is Connor my husband " 🤣 all very cute until Connors mum comes fowards and I recognise the face instantly.

Its Abbey 😒 from high school. Abbey was a massive bitch in school and was a real mean girl and would constantly bully me and my best friend and even stole my glasses and broke them.

I mean I was a little happy to see shed gotten fat 🤣 but when she saw me, she acted like everything was fine and as if I was an old friend. She keeps saying are kids should have a playdate soon and keeps inviting me out with all her snooty mum friends.

I know she only wants to know me now she knows my husband is rich and knowing her old reputation i wouldn't put it past her trying to make a pass at him 🤣. But she must have took one look at my car and thought "ohh I could do with being her friend now". I try and stay polite as I dont want to set a bad example to my daughter and get all the other mums talking.

I understand people change and were not in school now but she still very much is in her head. She bitches to me about all the other mums and there children as if im gonna join in with her and i just can't stand who she is as a person. She's sent me a fb friend request and invited me to a mums WhatsApp group.

Im just thinking "oh god how do i get myself out of this one"

I don't trust her around my husband either everyone knows she's the local bike and had more affairs then id like to think about. I trust my husband 100% not to do anything.

Updates

1 mo

she's always saying stuff like "weres daddy today?" And talking very flirty to my husband and about him. I've even seen her trying touching his upper arms and I was almost about ready to throw hands 🤣. My husband is polite back and just says she's friendly

[Screenwriter]

There's no need to friend her on facebook, and you do not have to be polite with her. You can tell her directly that you're glad your child is friends with Connor, but you don't care to hear comments about other parents. You can assume she talks about you as much as she talks about them. Ugh. That should shut her down with the gossip.

You can drop off your daughter at Connor's and pick her up a few hours later. No need to stay. No need to punish the kids. Also you can invite Connor over to play with your daughter for a few hours at a time. If she insists on staying for the playdate, you can busy yourself with laundry and cleaning so you don't have to talk to her. Tell her your girl's playdates are your time to do housework. You do the same when you drop off your girl to visit Connor.

If you don't treat her staying as a time to visit with her, and you don't stay over at her house, during your daughter's playdate, she'll get the idea you aren't seeking her friendship. If she EVER asks you why, remind her of how awful she was to you in high school. And let's face it: people who were once like that don't change.

[Elliegirl]

I’m not sure you can entirely avoid her, but you can do your best to be polite and kind, but maybe in a hurry or tell her you aren’t interested in gossip

[Iron_Man]

Little kids at that age they play doctor and nurse be careful and they also like to kiss I remember when I was younger at that age this girl kissed everybody in the class and she wanted to come to my house and that would’ve happened too except our parents didn’t let us get together

[strateguy632]

she probably stopped being a bully after finished school

[Asker]

She hasn't, she tries to bitch about other mothers to me

[NoDecision]

Give her a cunt punt and she won't bother you anymore. She at least deserves that much. But seriously, don't acknowledge her or talk to her. She is just someone you used to know.

[RavVid]

If everyone knows she is the local free community bike there is your revenge. I think you just have to keep on going as you are.

[Spencer10]

People change... maybe discuss the past with her? If she is still a bully move on.

[Asker]

I ain't got time for that, a bitch is a bitch no need to talk about it with her. She hasn't changed one bit she's just fake about it now. I think im just gonna ignore her and keep chatter to a minimum till she gets the hint

[Asker]

She calls all the other mums for not being as well off to me as if she thinks because my husband is doing well im gonna look down on them mums and laugh with her.

We weren't always financially well off and I understand the struggle id never shame a mother for doing her best on a budget

[Spencer10]

Fair enough. Its your call.

[andreasderjuengere]

The best reaction often is to not react.

To not give others what they expect to be given leaves them without a ''plan''.

[exitseven]

If it was a guy I would know what to do, however you seem to have a dillemma.

[zagor]

Keep your relationship limited to her role as Connor's mom. Be polite but find ways to avoid her attempts to go beyond that.

[astlavista]

Keep it brief, polite, and neutral. A simple smile, “Hi, hope you’re well,” then move on is enough—you don’t owe her a friendship.

[Anonymous]

The girl's name is not surprising.

[Asker]

I know right 🤣🤣

[doren680]

Punch her in the face