He cares so much about me but why don't I want to get together with him?!

boopdoop
I have a friend I've known for two years who's recently told me he loves me. He said he's been having these feelings for a year now.

Let me establish that he is one of the closest friends I have and that we are currently neighbours in uni housing.

He is really, really sweet and would be a very good boyfriend. He's really observant when it comes to things that I do and he's always making small gestures that shows he cares. This is especially easy for him to do because we live next door to each other and he comes in to talk and leave me little notes all the time. He's doing a lot more now that he's established he wants something more from 'us'. He loves his mom, straight A student etc.

Yet I'm reluctant to get together with him and I'm not sure why. Everyone seems to think we'll get together eventually and that I'm suffering from some kind of commitment phobia because I've never been involved in a serious relationship before.

He's been really understanding about my feelings and asked to 'just hang out, no expectations or anything' which is what we've been doing for a few weeks. We made out a couple of times, and in hindsight I'm not proud of it because I feel like I led him on. Making out was good, but it's helped me figure out that I don't want to eat his face every time I see him - does that mean that I'm just not physically attracted to him? Also, when I'm out without him, my eye still wanders to attractive looking guys and I have a crush on someone else.

I care for him too but I can't tell if all I feel is friendship or something more. I've taken care of him when he was sick, and baked muffins for him just because.

I wondered also if it's just that I feel the need to reciprocate because he's being so earnest about his feelings. I.e., if I'm only going along with it because I don't want to create conflict between us, which is something I tend to do - that is, avoid conflict at any cost.

He keeps telling me to give him a chance. GAG, do you think I should continue hanging out with him with this expectation that it might lead to something more (I feel like I'm taking advantage of him) and waiting to see if I feel differently? I.e., should I go for it even if for whatever reason my heart's not 100% into it?

Please also share your experiences about romantic relationships with once-platonic friends.

Thanks! sorry for the tldr
He cares so much about me but why don't I want to get together with him?!
6
1
Add Opinion