Why can't she be herself around me and what should I do?

[Anonymous]

This girl when I first met her, she seemed very different from how she's acting now (I liked her better then). She was flirty and teased me and knew how to snap back at me and would make me laugh.

But now she has a crush on me (I can tell she gets nervous around me). And so now she can't joke around with me, all she can do is have a shy/silly/goofy/nervous smile around me and laugh when I tease her and laugh at my jokes and let me touch her, but she won't talk to me about much except when answering questions. Probably because she's nervous? I don't know.

How do I get her back to how she was, and why is she suddenly acting this way? I mean I like her a lot too but that doesn't turn me into a timid quiet person or a nervous person, so why is she turning nervous now that she likes me?

[VeinsofGlitter]

Give her a break, it's not her fault she's become different around you, she's probably kicking herself for it and is more uncomfortable than you realize. There really isn't anything you can do apart from asking her out and maybe then her awkward behavior will subside. I know what she's doing because I do the same thing with a guy I like. I hate it but I can't relax around him unless I have been drinking.

I'd always be that person If he'd just finally ask me out so try that. The change in behavior comes from thinking "does he like me?"

[Anonymous]

I have done the EXACT same thing with the guy I like. Just don't give up on her. She's prob just trying to impress you and that's why she's not acting herslef. Just try and get it back to how it used to be and I'm sure she will go back to normal. I wish the guy I liked would just try and start goofing about with me again cos then I wouldn't feel so shy and awkward with him and I would be able to act myself again. Hope that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

sorry to say bud but that's what women do. A lot of the times were are like that is because we are in love and don't know how you feel about us, we are waiting for you to ask us out. Have you asked her out? I think once you take her out the fear that she is feeling now will be gone. He likes me, so now she can be herself. so ask her out and put the poor girl out of her misery.

[bassman]

Usually its the other way around..Nervous at first... then when they feel comfortable around you they loosen up. Did she ever touch you when you first met? Does she touch you first now?

[Asker]

when we first met she did not touch me first, now she can only "accidentally" brush against me or stand close enough that our arms/legs/shoulders touch. I'm always the one making the moves. Back when I first met her she had an attitude with me and was confident and wasn't afraid to tease me and talking back to me. But now she only answers my questions or talks about her friends or school or some other neutral topic so she can actually say something. No more playfulness because she's too nervous

[bassman]

Im sorry but I think her interest level in you is falling. You should never touch her...let her come to you... she will let you know when its OK to touch... I don't have much information...but I'm guessing she gets uncomfortable around you...because she doesn't want you to touch her.. Just my opinion.

[Asker]

that could be. but for every negative signal I get (her being nervous, her not being playful, her not being flirty), I get two positive signals (she looks in my eyes, she smiles, she lets me touch her, she always comes back to see me, she blushes).

So I'm thinking she still likes me but she's nervous now for some reason. But I'll keep that in mind, if I ever get the gut feeling that she isn't interested I'll stop flirting with her. Or maybe I should stop touching her and being so flirty

[Asker]

to see if she starts flirting back

[bassman]

No No.. keep things light and funny.. just no touching... see what happens over a period of time and report back! Good Luck man.

[lex1810]

cuz that's us girls approach to guys we like lol it sucks for both you and her I'm sure I think the best thing you can do to get her back to the way she was, is to tell her you like her that might relax her a bit more and get her to the way she was... because rite now she obvsly nervous when she's around you because she's unsure if you like her back... its worth a shot..

[bassman]

a guy should never verbally tell a girl he likes her unless he's proposing! Especially one that's acting stranger than before. No. she's not unsure if he likes her...she's unsure if SHE likes him..

[Anonymous]

How do you know that the girl she is *now* is not the real her? Maybe the girl she was at first was an act for you...

[Asker]

well that's not good. because the her now is shy and I don't like her being so nervous and insecure around me. if this is who she really is then maybe I don't really like her like I thought I did. maybe you're right, maybe I fell for what she thought I would like

[Opinion Owner]

Also, maybe she clammed up because she's a virgin and is uncertain what to do past the initial phases of flirtation?

[Asker]

hell no haha, she's known for having slept with a lot of guys. that doesn't bother me though. she's known in my circle of friends for sleeping with a guy at a party first and then forming a relationship afterwards.

so she's a nervous, clammed up girl who has more experience than me (she doesn't know that though).

[Opinion Owner]

Oh my.

You know her better than I do, of course. It's just unfortunate that one of the two sides she's shown you is fake...

[Anonymous]

you need to ask her out.

[Asker]

hmm see I thought that would make her more nervous, like the pressure of having a good date and all. but maybe you're right

[Opinion Owner]

Let me tell you I'm in the same situation with a coworker for 2 years. at first I could throw all the punches back at him, until I really started to develop feelings for him. Now I'm just a nervous wreck around him, its no fun. The whole point of having a crush on someone is to, at least in my opinion, go out with them eventually. It certainly isn't to entertain myself. I'm sure she wants you to ask her out. Do something low key.

[Opinion Owner]

agreed