Why An Older Woman uses GaG?

I saw this question posted on GaG yesterday, and really didn’t give it much attention at the time. But the young man asking couldn’t figure out why these women “in their forties” were using GaG talking to people in their teens and twenties.

The question and his responses to others were full of contempt. As far as he was concerned, women on GaG who are in their forties must be unmarried (old maids), or were moms who wanted to know more about what their daughters are doing, or we were just simply losers that spent too much time on the site.

Okay, well, I can only speak for myself and tell you why I’m on this site, obviously outnumbered by younger guys and girls.

Why An Older Woman uses GaG?

First of all, I’m not an old maid. I’ve been married for a few years, and prior to that had several dating experiences. I’m not a mother, nor plan to be as someone childfree by choice. I’m also not a loser. I’m proud to have accomplished many things in life, enjoyed a lot of travel, I have many friends, I’ve made many long distance moves, and have a career doing what I love – from home.

But why I joined GaG and continue to use it sometimes gives me a lump in my throat as I try to explain myself.

When I was 11 years old, I started my period and didn’t know what the hell it was. I was terrified to approach my parents about it, thinking I had a disease. The best I could do was hide it for an entire year with wads of toilet paper not understanding what was going on.

By the time I was 13 I had a full pair of breasts, had been wearing a bra for nearly two years, and was not entirely comfortable with the fact I was becoming a sexual being. I felt as though I was a pervert, and had no one to talk to about this out of shame.

When I was 15 I was frustrated that no boy at school would date me. I had been told often I was so pretty, yet I couldn’t understand why I was constantly passed over for the troubled girls.

When I was 16 I lost my virginity. Not only that, we had an interracial coupling, and had no one to talk about sex with or the fact we were interracial while everyone judged us.

When I was in college, my parents decided to split up and it devastated me. I had no one to talk to and kept a lot of my anger hidden. A year later, they got back together. All was right again, but for a year it was very sad for me.

At 21, I worked my first job in a small town where I was inundated with sexual harassment and general harassment by my supervisor. I made my atheism known and was ostracized daily for it. I was alienated and even told to shut up and put up with it since my choice was to be an atheist. Again, I had no one to talk to or turn to.

Then the internet happened.

After a lot of years with many more experiences, there still wasn’t much to research just yet. I remember doing a Yahoo! search for something in 1996 and half of the page was a white screen with no ads. As I went along in my adult life still more things happened. I was living with a guy who was suicidal. Years later, I was raped. Next, I fell in love with a guy who had been sexually abused as a little boy. I did a ton of reading on different countries’ histories, and took more classes to further my education. I’d been cheated on. I felt loss. I developed depression. I went through so much, and I went through all of this silently.

I had been on other discussion boards to talk about other things, but when I joined GaG and recognized the social culture, I felt a part of me came full circle. Here were young women asking questions, too terrified to ask their parents and friends – similar questions I had at their age.

It’s reasons like this I began to answer and help. I was in some way, trying to help that frightened young woman who never had the internet, much less GaG, when going through some scary times in her life. That young woman was me.

This is why a woman in her forties is on GaG. I want to give back. I also have gotten to know and like a lot of people here, and it keeps me logging in. No I’m not decaying and going through menopause. I’m vital, beautiful, and there are a lot of things I want to talk about.

I thank everyone for letting me do that, being a part of their lives and maybe just once, help that one person who feels so lost at a time while we do have the internet to reach out for help. I just wish I had that for me when I needed it twenty five years ago, but now that it’s here, so I shall be too.

Ozanne is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all. You don't need to justify your reasons for being here.

    I've been using computers longer than 99.99% of the population, probably more. I was getting online before most of these people were born. I suppose that it's just my thing.

    Then a bunch of kids came in and took over the internet. They seem to think it's theirs for some reason. But I stuck around anyway. I was here first after all, so why should I leave? (should be taken somewhat tongue in cheek )

    When all the kids showed up, I looked at it like "Aw, an alien species, I wonder what these guys are all about."

    Then I think, "Wow they are sooooo young and naive". Then I realize "Hey, I used to be like that - this all sounds so familiar."

    In other words, been there done that. I don't usually know the right way to do things. But I've had a whole lot of experience doing it the wrong way. Maybe I can help someone avoid all the same mistakes I made, which are a lot.

    But wanna know the REAL reason I'm here? Because I'm a computer addict. I'm an online addict. I'm a forum addict. Yea, I know the harm in that too. Chalk up one more wrong way to run a life. So I tell people not to do that either.

    I'm here so people know how not to do things... and something to do.

    • LOL Yes, I know, I chatted with people like you on BBSs! I was about twelve or thirteen trying to get my hour or two in every night after playing Impossible Mission on my C64. :)

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    • Can't remember all the games. Tapper definitely! Some of the others seem familiar, but there were many that were alike. I played many, many hours of Dig Dug, a lot on consoles in arcades, but I think I also did so on the C64. Games today have no idea how easy they have it and how quick their load are. lol

Most Helpful Girl

  • Beautifully written as usual! I'm sorry you didn't have others to turn to when you were younger, but I'm so glad you're here now to provide advice and guidance to the rest of us. Though I don't know you that well, I can tell you're a kind, caring woman with so much to offer. Thank you for all the support you've provided to the G@G community!


Join the discussion

What Guys Said 36

  • Some younger people arrogantly believe that they own whatever part of the universe they occupy. Of course, they discovered sex, music, drugs, etc. and it's amazing that we all survived long enough for them to come along and save us.

    But that is the minority. Being on this site has helped to give me more confidence in "the younger generation," and I see young kids who are well-intentioned but they need some guidance. I speak up to my peers when I hear them saying that the world is rapidly going to Hell because of the younger generation.

    Ozanne, we have some differences in our histories and our beliefs, but that does not stop me from appreciating your wonderful contributions to this site. Like you, I do not have any children of my own, although I have raised a few step-children. I do enjoy working with teens and young adults as a mentor and volunteer with a local program which gives me that opportunity. My time on this site is not all about what I offer to others, because I feel very rewarded for what I do.

    Actually, when I first began to participate on this site, I questioned how long I would maintain an interest. Despite my older age, I soon had young people awarding me MHO's, messaging me for personal advice, an expressing appreciation for my insights. I have only been a member since April 10, 2015 and, as of today, I have received 718 MHO's; obviously, I feel appreciated.

    Something that you recognize as you get older is that the younger generation is not as different as they think they are. They have different slang, they use vastly different technology, they listen to different music and have different hair styles, but. . . what happens when boy meets girl today is pretty much the same as it was 50 years ago. And, as I have gotten older and more experienced, I see more of the big picture, I recognize what is truly important and what is just passing drama. That is a big advantage in giving advice. Being an attorney also helps with the occasional legal question that pops up. Plus, before I went to law school, I was a mental health counsellor. Not a bad résumé for someone offering free advice, huh?

    Occasionally, I encountered a young punk who tell me 'go fuck off, Grandpa,' but I don't pay too much attention to them. As long as I feel that my contributions are appreciated, I will continue to serve as a member of "the senior staff," and I hope that you will, too.

    • Thanks for this, and it's true that when you weed out the very few who make the experience here unpleasant there are way more people that we connect with that make the time spent here fun. :)

    • Yes, I appreciate both of you. Specially the way guys write it out.

    • Or type it.* :p

  • Outstanding, as all of your posts are. Except for calling yourself older. You and others like you calling yourselves older just makes me laugh. Grow up. When you reach your 60's then you can call yourself older. :-)

    I have to say, if someone just takes the time to read your question, opinions, and comments, they will see why your being here is good without asking ignorant questions about why. And if they will look at your MHO rate, they will know you are one to go to and trust.

    There was so much we did not know about you before this post, and surely much more we still do not know, but you really put a lot out there in this and surely connected with thousands of users. They can now put your knowledge and experience to their use! Hopefully they are all quietly thanking you for being on here.

    Keep doing what you are doing. You do it so much better than most of us.

    • Hey Red, thanks, but calm down, ol' man, I have *yet* to refer to myself as *older* here! These were just words from the mouths of babes, and using it was in reflection of the post I'm talking about.

      And thanks for your kind words, always means a lot coming from you. 👶🏼

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    • *widens eyes*

    • lol :-) 😘

  • You have summarized what G@G means.. Helping eachother with our own experiences... Thank you for opening up this discussion... And here is an interesting fact:
    If you look at the "this week's Top MHO users" list under Site News you'll see 2 girls and 2 guys who are all over 30. The average age of these 4 users is 42.
    Experience counts big... Thank you for your contribution to G@G community.

  • I certainly understand your situation.
    In my house when I grew up, sex was not talked about. I never had "the talk".
    I was in my late teens before I even figured out that women didn't pee out of their butt. I mean they sat down, why else would they do that? I actually found out the truth from watching my dog. it was confusing. There was no internet.
    all the other stuff I had to figure out on the way.
    I actually went through a period of time where I would practice what to say to a woman if I ever had a chance to have sex because I would get an erection every time I thought about sex. I was in 9th grade at the time and would get upset because it wouldn't go away and figured I would never get to have sex if I couldn't control it.
    when I "discovered" masturbation, I freaked out because some white stuff came shooting out of me and I thought i was dying.
    I was with my ex wife for 25 years but instead of asking all the questions you just live life. I figured I would never had to worry about anything woman related again. Until she decided she didn't need a family.
    So I have a lot of questions. esp sex related. I have found out that her answers to many of them were way off base when compared to the masses. So it is nice to have a place to find out some things. Sure everyone is different but you can at least get a general idea.
    Living on my own for the first time In my life (except for my time in the military which really doesn't count) at 46 was hard to adjust to.
    I never really dated when I was younger. I went on dates with 5 women before meeting my ex wife. So dating again at 46 was not something I ever though I was going to have to do again. So there are a lot of questions.
    also, as much as these teens/20 somethings like to think they know everything, they don't. I know a few things, esp about marriage and being a man. So I like to help with I can.

  • Wow that's a standing ovation from me - kudos, awesome :) :)

    lol most of what I am here for apart from many other reasons, similarities are abundant except that I lost my virginity at 11, I thought I was undateable when I was around 13/14 too and again formally started working at 21 with the same sexual overtures even I choose not to call it harassment cause the first 2 years of my career my bosses were women and good ladies at that but yes there were other women there whose not only designation was higher but also age but being a male apart from other things, I could handle from a better position :)

    I love writing and I look upto the way you write and the frequency as well as the topics you write on :)

    • Thanks Raj :) And thanks for sharing your own information so that people can understand the guys' perspective too.

    • The pleasure is all mine dear girl :) and THAT was part of the idea :D ;)

  • While I have not had the same experiences you had, (I'm sorry you went through so much). I too was seeking some sort of forum where I could ask questions and perhaps answer some for others who were seeking information in a non judgmental atmosphere. I am fully aware that we all have our own experiences some good some not, and that these are all what goes into making us who we are. I have received mostly positive feedback from many on this sight. I would hope that you too receive mostly positive exchanges on this site. I guess where I'm going with all of this is, if I can help others through difficult times or answer questions in the spirit of honesty and to help people understand others and perhaps even themselves a little better, than I am more than willing to extend an open hand to any who might need a little "boost" I suppose that is why I have been a member as long as I have. Can I save everybody? No, but if I can help even a few, than my time has been well spent. I get the feeling that this is where you are coming from as well. To that end I say good for you, and know you are not alone.

  • A poem comes to mind:


    The Bridge Builder
    By Will Allen Dromgoole

    An old man going a lone highway,
    Came, at the evening cold and gray,
    To a chasm vast and deep and wide.
    Through which was flowing a sullen tide
    The old man crossed in the twilight dim,
    The sullen stream had no fear for him;
    But he turned when safe on the other side
    And built a bridge to span the tide.

    "Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,
    “You are wasting your strength with building here;
    Your journey will end with the ending day,
    You never again will pass this way;
    You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,
    Why build this bridge at evening tide?”

    The builder lifted his old gray head;
    “Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,
    “There followed after me to-day
    A youth whose feet must pass this way.
    This chasm that has been as naught to me
    To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be;
    He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;
    Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!”

  • Good take, I came across a post similar to that over a month ago asking why us older people are on here and when I was about to jump in a bunch of young gagers defended us so I just watched the comments fly in so apparently it's only a few of them on here that feel that way. I always try to give good advice to all ages since I've been through a lot myself

    • Yeah, it's not the first time I've seen it come up, but the first time I've seen it posted as a Question. A lot of times the people who get blasted the most are the very young and those who are older (whatever old is considered). Really strange though how people perceive me. I've been hit with insults that include menopause and I just don't get it. Do people actually think 40 is when a woman starts menopause? LOL No, it's meant to be a dig because they don't know how else to insult so that's the best they can do. I like to think I'm rockin 41 the way some women like Jennifer Aniston had a few years ago. I never get this sort of thing in person - ever. It's the safety of being behind a computer screen and likely 5000 miles away from me to say something so moronic.

  • Wow over than not having children you seem to have experienced everything. Why were you ostracized for your atheism? Personally I'm an atheist but I don't go around shouting it at the top of my lungs so I rarely had any problems concerning that. Only two people were not ok with it but eventually accepted it since they realized that I wasn't an anti-theist. I also don't understand why you didn't ask anyone about your period. I've always made my health issues known especially since my mother is a nurse. Was it because of embarrassment? Were there no books about it at the time?

    • Blood coming out of my vagina was horrific, since I had zero way of knowing why. It also didn't look like blood at first. Not exactly an easy thing to tell prudish parents. Also, the very first town I lived in to start my broadcast career had a small population, and was predominantly Christian. I grew up in the big city where it was no big deal to know one didn't believe in god, but being out on my own and surrounded by god-fearing Christians it was not wise apparently. My time there was like spending two years in hell.

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    • @Dandeus I guess you're right. Being a man I've never really had any similar experiences. The only thing I didn't know was what pre-cum was but I eventually found out what it was since other people on the Internet had the same question. My parents never told me what sex was and in school only the anatomy was covered but very vaguely so I didn't even know that the penis goes inside the vagina until I watched porn.

      The Internet really is a great tool for spreading knowledge.

    • @Dandeus this is exactly true, thank you. Back then the dreaded trip to the library to look for something was like searching for a needle in a haystack, and even worse when you didn't know what the proverbial "needle" even looked like. Asking the town librarian was probably more terrifying than just going to the doctor. And as a kid, making an appointment to go to a doctor was almost impossible without your parents knowing. It meant asking for a ride, which triggered questions, or leaving the house for hours, which also led to questions, unless the kid knew how to lie about where they went.

      I certainly knew that I should have gone looking for help from someone, but the anonymity and instant access to get answers online today are a million times better - something I wish I had when I was a teen, and I don't think teens really understand how much of a blessing it is to have.

  • Very nice take and I really appreciate people like you who put others before themselves. People make much too big of a deal over people's ages. It's like you have to be between the ages of 18 and 30 to be acceptable otherwise you're too young or too old. It boggles my mind when people criticize people for asking sexual questions when they are under 18. Doesn't it make more sense to figure those things out before experiencing them? And then the same goes for people who are older? Older people also have questions, opinions, and advice. We are all humans and just because we are in different stages of life doesn't mean we lack the ability to do things that people between the ages of 18 and 30 can do. This is coming from a 24 year old.

    • I agree, and wonder how often this site might have saved an STD or unwanted pregnancy because something was answered just when someone needed it most.

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    • I'm not that kind of person. I am very closely connected to teens by *not* having kids and not having that automatic "parent buffer" that a lot of people sometimes put between them, calling them too young and calling them down from what they do. I never had kids to know this sort of protective feeling, so when a 15 year old asks about sex, I easily remember how that felt and prefer to talk to them the way I had wanted to be talked to at that age. I do this in person too. I'm usually a favourite for teens to go to as an adult in their lives from my close girl-friends, and also my nieces and nephews because they know I'm not going to think they're idiots when they come talk to me.

    • Most GAG users don't have the "parent buffer" either because they are all young and don't have children (yet). Their "protectiveness" is superficial. They have other reasons for it similar to the way things were amongst children in middle school and high school. They like to think of themselves as being much more experienced in life when in reality they aren't much different themselves. I too remember what it was like as a teen (which wasn't long ago) I actually made a myTake about this not too long ago:

  • Wow ! ! ! This is absolutely a nightmarish experience but a welcome eye-opener to youngsters.
    I hope this will encourage our population as gagers to understand that there is nothing bad in discussing your situations with whoever cares to give the attention necessary instead of the long suffering scenarios sort of..
    I know most of us have the problem of looking down on their fellows but that will absolutely make things worse as it cages your internal resolve in difficult situations..
    This is absolutely a wonderful issue, really , I love mature people around me like this..
    Thumbs up...

  • This site is all about asking/answering questions and debating. As if being older would somehow make you inferior in participating in that. People that say things like "shut up grandpa/grandma" should just be ignored, either they are just trolling because they think it's amusing, or they can't think of anything creative to say and therefore try to make it look like you don't know what you are talking about because you couldn't possibly relate. When I was 16 I thought my parents had never seen porn and that they would be shocked if they knew what kids today were into.. Take comfort in the fact that most of those people, 5 years from now will go "Oh my god, what and idiot I was".

  • Kudos young lady , as you can see I am not exactly one of the younger crowd myself. I see much of my youth in your take too , from abuse to the broken family. I too come here wishing to help and at the same time find closure to some bad chapters that were never closed , some of them have been in some way made better but none the less still unclosed. I would like to think that by my being here or the amount of time that I have , some one has benefited from my years of trial and error , and maybe even if it was just one , that my words mattered. I don't know if you have been told this by anyone else here but thank you for being a part of the gang

  • Complaining about what age someone is on GaG is absurd. The forum is about people giving advice and helping each other, people of different ages have different perspectives and experiences and that only benefits the discussion and improves understanding. Good advice is good advice whether it comes from a teenager or from someone old enough to be the parent or grandparent of a teenager.

    • EXACTLY!
      And while you older people aren't in the middle of "teen problems" any longer, you have been there, and you look back at them with a more mature way. That can possibly result in opinions and points of view causing "eureka" moments for the teens reading it.

      That alone is a good reason for you to stay; because you act as the mature person with a different point of view.

    • Sometimes it's so hard to explain why the answer to some problems is "give it time" as in, when you get older you'll see this really isn't a big deal to someone younger thinking their life has come crashing down because for example, their first love broke their heart at the age of 15. I've been attacked with personal insults thinking that I just don't understand because I'm "old", when it's the only way I can put something, and sure enough in about a year's time they realize it was actually nothing. I usually assume people can figure out that given my age, I've sort of been around the block so when I say I've been there, done that and seen it all and that's why I spit out the answers I do. It's not to be flippant, it's because in the short-run, I know the person will be okay and want to let them know it.

  • I don't know if you are 40
    Your intelligence makes you so beautiful
    You write so eloquently and always provide some of the best advice

    I think gag needs more ladies like you
    To help guide girls and boys lol!

    Great take from the best take market

  • We're quite glad that you're here :)

  • Very nice take @Ozanne

    I just noticed, that you are like me: Silent all the time! Golden silence.
    I too had nobody on my side and to talk about things and what was left is just me, myself and I. Lone, depressed and seeking answers and myself I went through it.

    ... and then the internet returned for me with GAG I discovered a year ago.

    I can honestly say this website helps even when in doubt. I keep adapting from various sources, GAG being one of the most helpful sources. I read questions, answers - based similar to my situations or just to my interest and see what makes sense.

    I feel superior by getting to know confirmations of advices and facts based on conflicts and things, that stand in my way, which also make sense. Even without that I still feel divine. I have an iron will.

    Your other takes proof very useful: Short, true, sweet and informative. Advices, borders when it's going too far etc.. You're doing a great job helping the young ones. Ahhh yes... this is the good 'new' internet. You deserve some kind of medal :)

    Have a wonderful day!

  • Amazing!

  • Fantastic article, and I admire your strength and courage of conviction to pursue your own path in life. Even though you were just playing the hand you were dealt, you played it very well indeed.

  • For the same reason anybody browses gag, end of mystery :D

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 39

  • I see a lot of your posts on GaG, and you've answered a couple of mine, and I've really appreciated the advice. I've been questioned on the age thing too at "barely" 32, and I've always felt like there is no point in life where we stop asking questions or seeking answers. That has no age limit. If it did, you wouldn't have 90 year olds going and finally getting their college degrees or jumping out of planes. I know back in my youth, it was a radio station and their advice that helped me through a lot, and now its the internet. So many things I've been scared, or curious, or interested in... its all right here at Gag or more often in the broader sense of the internet. Recently I was diagnosed with a chronic illness and it was people answering questions and connecting with me that really helped me feel like it wasn't the end of the world. I thank people like you and any that have given advice or answered questions. I do the same because you just never know who you may be saving, or helping, or comforting in their time of need. Brava!

    • Thanks BeeNee :) Loved this: "there is no point in life where we stop asking questions or seeking answers". That is so true!

  • Yes! What is the point of having had various shitty life experiences if you can't use it to help others. By the time you're 30 + you have the life experience to sniff out bullshit from the opposite sex a mile off, because you've been on the receiving end of it so many times.

    I see so many younger women on GAG, asking for clarification about ambiguous relationships, but someone as old as I am can see that these are guys just looking to pass the time. 12 years dating experience and I know that if a guy wants something casual or is just ambiguous about the status of the relationship from the start, he will never change his mind and you're just filler.

    All of my LTRs, including my current very happy relationship, were with guys who were very keen from the start, and stayed keen after sex, but it's taken 12 years of dating and being strung along, to realise that if a guy isn't still extremely keen after you first have sex, you need to stop bothering with him ASAP, as you'll never be more than friends with benefits.

    I wish I'd had someone older advise me not to waste time with such guys when I was younger. It would have been great to have this understanding then.

    Also, I see so many young men posting about how they think all women are looks obsessed, etc. I do my best to point out that I have been involved with many an unattractive/plain guy, but the key thing was that they had confidence, so cultivating confidence, rather than complaining about how they weren't genetically blessed with amazingly good looks, is going to be a better solution to their problem than moaning that life isn't fair.

  • I totally loved this myTake! And I can totally relate to many of the things that happened to you when you were a teenager, having to find out things by myself too and having very little information and parents that were too shy to talk about sexuality, body changes and relationships.
    This is a great myTake and it's beautifully written!!

    • I think most of us females can relate. My experiences as a teen weren't so different than other girls, however girls today have the internet to research and discussion boards and online communities like this to ask for help or get questions answered. Now, take that away as a teen in 1988 - we all had to fend for ourselves then. Even trying to find reading material was tough because you'd have to go through the horror of a bookstore or librarian to ask where the self help / sex books are. Ugh, the nightmare just thinking about that. So we just never did. We had to rely on that one cool friend of ours that everyone seemed to have - who had a mother who wasn't afraid to spill it all out to her daughter, who could then pass the information on to us.

    • "We had to rely on that one cool friend of ours that everyone seemed to have - who had a mother who wasn't afraid to spill it all out to her daughter, who could then pass the information on to us" hahaha so true!!

  • Excellent and beautifully articulated post - that guy who posted that about older women is the loser. What healthy happy guy would post so much hate if he was loved by someone himself or in fact loved himself.

    Older women and men on this site make the most valuable and reasoned contributions because they have had more experiences. The younger people on this site are lucky to get advice from the older people because without them the advice in a lot of casas would not be as good.

    I bet it is loser guy who will be posting on this site in his forties probably still full of hate.

    Well done you for posting your story :-)

  • Bravo! A friend of mine recently told me that she was considering committing suicide because she was attracted to girls, and she knew that if she told her family they would kick her out of the house and refuse to speak to her ever again. She wasn't ready for that at 16. Her life was a living nightmare. Then she started talking to people online, and she realized that there was nothing wrong with her. She began to dare to hope that she would be happy in this life. The internet can be a huge blessing sometimes.

  • This is a wonderful take Ozanne. Thank you for sharing such intimate parts of your life with us. If people can't see all the good you and other older users do they're just ridiculous. Sometimes i think it has less to do with someone's age and more to do with them calling others on their bs.

  • Great take! Luckily I haven't had as tough of a life as you have, but I also feel that I can give some helpful advice. Same as you, I didn't get much info or help when I was a teenager and also had to learn everything the hard way. Then in my 20's I married an abuser, the signs were there, yet nobody made me see them. So if I can help anyone with my advice and keep them from making the same mistakes I made, it makes it all worth it.

  • Girl, I can agree with you there. We do need older people here to share valuable advice. Apparently, I am "old" now too (however I can out party any young girl under the table). I also have some valuable advice to share.

    If it isn't for older people here, it would be like the blind leading the blind.

    So keep posting, I love your takes.

  • I don't care if older users are on here. I feel like I am getting into that territory anyway, but even when I joined this site in my early 20's I didn't care. I like the insight an older member can give. I do worry that eventually people will view me the same way. Next year I will be 30. I don't know what will happen a year from now, or if I will still be here but I do worry that people will judge if I am.

    Also, I am one of those women you described at the beginning. I will be 29 in September and I've never been in a relationship, and I am still a virgin. I can see myself being in my 40s and still in the situation I am now. So it's not as if I am going to judge another man or woman for being in that situation. That's likely my future.

    So I say enjoy the site and ignore people who say things like that.

  • Just tell him "To piss off little whiny fuckers like you."

    I wouldn't dignify such an obnoxious individual with an indepth responce. If he blurts out such idiocy, he doesn't deserve to be taken seriously. :p

  • Older people have been through hell and back. Those young whippersnappers who have a problem with it ought to sit down in the corner where they belong.

    (I have a problem with the older men posting about their fetishes and preying on young girls but that is an abuse of the community itself and happens with younger men as well).

  • Really great take. I'd like to add that my being a wife and mother doesn't take away from my experience, it adds to it. This view that society has towards mother's is truly sickening to me. The view that because I sacrifice my time to be with my kids I must be unintelligent and lazy.
    I've always appreciated your opinions on things. They are well thought out and consice. The young users will understand soon enough just how "old" 40 is and just how fleeting their 20's are.

    • Thanks Belle, and no one has any better experience than another especially with kids. For example, someone here said aside from *not* having kids I've been through a lot. Well, to me, *not* having any children at the age of 41 *is* the experience. :) How else can someone who chooses not to have kids know what lies ahead of them than asking a woman in her 40s what it was like for her?

      Being a wife and mother is an experience, there is no doubt about that. You just said it all with the word "sacrifice". What more do people want? People all too often blame moms who don't stay home with their kids but turn around to criticize those who dedicate their lives to raising them? People are nuts.

    • I agree. And isn't that what should make gag great? The variety of experiences and choices?
      Wonderful take really.

    • Thanks, Belle, means a lot hearing it from you. :)

  • yes, the internet can be wonderful!!! I found this mytake you might like: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8197-why-it-s-naive-to-think-the-internet-is-different-from-the-outside

    • Aw thanks for linking. That was a great Take, and I let her know it. I wish more people would read and understand that stuff.

  • I always welcome the older and mature crowd.

  • Your takes and opinions will always be appreciated by me, Ozanne :) don't let anyone tell you that you don't fit in here, obviously you have a lot of wisdom and knowledge to share which I bet many are thankful for!

  • I was also scared when I started my period at 14, I even cried about it for a week. And I have to say that his is so overwhelming to me, I'm sad that you had to experience that. Don't listen to people like that guy, GAG needs more people like you, oh hell the world needs more people like you! Age doesn't matter when it comes to helping people, I appreciate it more when someone older than me gives me an advice.

  • Thanks for sharing. U owe no explanation to the phantom troll.

  • Thanks for sharing your story with us. I don't understand the whole age thing with people worrying about 30 and older and the 20's worrying about the teens. One thing that everyone knows here is that we can all learn from each other and most users in their 20's here lack relationship and and sexual experience and I sense jealousy towards the teen crowd so I often wonder why they are on here and not putting their selves out here. You've already lived and probably still enjoying little things in life so I can ask the same question for other age groups. I think we all come come here to give and receive advice unless you are a troll and you can never be too old to learn. I know some people are salty about getting advice for more experienced users who happen to be older or much older but I happen to like it. If it bothers anyone that much they can leave lol.

  • Wow such a great post! I am very sorry for all the things you have been through in your life without the support of family or friends. That is very tough!

    I have been through a few traumatic experiences myself and I agree that sometimes we can't talk to friends or family about these things. There is only so much they can say to help but they wouldn't completely understand because they haven't been there. I have used several different online forums for support because of the different things I have experienced.

    I do find that because of these forums and because of counseling I am able to talk to others more easily in person about the different things that have troubled me over the years. These sites are very helpful and anyone should feel free to use them no matter what your age.

    • That is truly the benefit for all, to talk things out. Whether we are asking for help or giving it, we all can find some solace together.

  • Great take. I think people who have a problem with us older users are just ageist. And yes, I've been called old on here at 30. Why would anyone not want advise from someone with a lot of experience to answer their question? And I really don't get how being on here when you're older makes you a loser. This site is a hobby, not a lifestyle. How can you be a loser for having a hobby?

    • As someone fast approaching 40 I find the idea of being considered "old" at 30 incredibly funny.

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