"You can't fake confidence."
I've heard that a lot, especially on this site. Whenever someone asks how to be less insecure, more outgoing, how to get someone to notice them, they're told to be more confident. How do they go about doing that? Fake it 'til you make it, sweetie!
It's a concept that I don't buy into.
For one thing, "fake it 'til you make it" is a phrase I learned in marketing classes in high school. You may be trying to sell yourself to other people, so to speak, whenever you're in public, but it's not the same thing. Also, the idea of lying to yourself seems like a bad idea to me.
In spite of everything she told me, all that came across was an insecure person pretending to be confident.
This is where the idea of self-acceptance comes in. Insecurities, anxiety--they're both based in flawed thinking. Pretending that you're not insecure addresses the issue at the surface, but not at the root. You have to change the way you view yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to other people, stop saying you're not good enough, not attractive enough etc. We are our own worst critics; other people don't notice our flaws as readily as we do, yet so many people let the negative thoughts get the best of them, and they lose confidence over it. When you realize your self-defeating thoughts, it's a lot easier to discount them.
Gaining confidence isn't a process that happens overnight. Although faking it is a quick fix, it can't bring about real change without attending to the underlying problems.
I've heard that a lot, especially on this site. Whenever someone asks how to be less insecure, more outgoing, how to get someone to notice them, they're told to be more confident. How do they go about doing that? Fake it 'til you make it, sweetie!
It's a concept that I don't buy into.
For one thing, "fake it 'til you make it" is a phrase I learned in marketing classes in high school. You may be trying to sell yourself to other people, so to speak, whenever you're in public, but it's not the same thing. Also, the idea of lying to yourself seems like a bad idea to me.
"The idea of lying to yourself seems like a bad idea to me."When I asked how exactly you go about faking confidence, a girl told me that she's full of insecurities when she's at home, but when she leaves the house, she acts like she isn't. She told me that you have to smile, hold your head high, and act like you know what you're talking about even if you don't (which I don't advise doing--ignorance does not equal confidence).
In spite of everything she told me, all that came across was an insecure person pretending to be confident.
This is where the idea of self-acceptance comes in. Insecurities, anxiety--they're both based in flawed thinking. Pretending that you're not insecure addresses the issue at the surface, but not at the root. You have to change the way you view yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to other people, stop saying you're not good enough, not attractive enough etc. We are our own worst critics; other people don't notice our flaws as readily as we do, yet so many people let the negative thoughts get the best of them, and they lose confidence over it. When you realize your self-defeating thoughts, it's a lot easier to discount them.
You can't fake confidence
Overcoming challenges is the next thing you have to focus on. It's so easy to talk yourself out of doing things out of fear or insecurity. But when you keep letting things pass you by, you only end up with regret, which is not a confidence builder. No matter how scary something may seem, you have to work through it. That's how you become more comfortable with the things that make you uneasy, and you'll see that you shouldn't let anxiety dictate your life, which will boost your confidence over time.- Ignorance does not equal confidence
- Don't compare yourself to others
- Avoid negative self talk
- Don't let anxiety dictate your life
- Be patient - confidence takes time
Gaining confidence isn't a process that happens overnight. Although faking it is a quick fix, it can't bring about real change without attending to the underlying problems.
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