A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

pervertedjester

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

Don't get me wrong I like being male. I can't imagine being any other way. These are just things that annoy me about my gender. This is designed to give Women a glimpse into this man's mind.

1. Bonding with other Males is stupid

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

There are four basics when trying to bond as a guy: Sports, Cars, Comdey and Porn. I can't take sports or car talk. I usually just nod and hope I can interject at some point with comedy. As for Porn talk I just leave the room. I really don't want to know about some guy's fucked up fetish! Do that shit at home and never tell anyone again.

2. The only emotion I know how to deal with is anger

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

I've been taught like most men I assume, that other emotions must be supressed at all costs. Anger can be dealt with by force or shame. But I can't even wince in pain if I lose a limb or get shot.

3. Somehow I'm forced to take responsiblity for all the evils in the world. (Including dick pics)

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

As Billy Joel said "We didn't start the fire." I'm sure he didn't mean my version of it. But if a group is oppressed I'm usually blamed by either the Media trying to divide us or Women whom I have no control or influence over. I'm just trying to go to work.

4. Not all compliments from single guys are creepy pick up lines

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

Most of the time I just want to make a woman smile... for once. Even here on GAG I have to stop myself from being too complimentary to women. Age differences aside most Ladies deserve to smile once in their day. I've only messaged one lady here and that was just to compliment her on entertaining posts. As for the rest of just say thanks and move on.

5. Even in the age of YouTube I'm still required to fix things

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

I'd much rather hire someone just so I don't end up blaming myself.

6. To hold the door or not! (chivalry)

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

If I'm holding it open I'm just trying to be nice. I don't need a lecture about women's equality. I do the same for anyone. Guys get it, just say thanks and move on.

7. Shaving

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

It seems petty but shaving your face every day sucks. Then there's also trimming which has to be done because a bush on a man isn't comfortable.

332. MY creepy thoughts never end!

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man

As I've gotten older I've gotten better at controling what slips out but, the thoughts are always there. It's also the reason I try not to approach women. The thoughts start innocent but turn very fast: Wow, she's beautiful!- Do people tell her that a lot?- Does she need a hug?- Nah, you'd just get a boner if you did that.- Bet she's awesome naked!- Is she good in bed?- Does she like anal sex?- Wait, what if she likes to use a strap-on on her man?- Is she a "Furry?"- Is she a fan of 50 Shades of Grey?- Could I do that stuff to her?- What if I push it too far?- What is, too far?- Well forced would be too far.- What if I dress up as a theif and try to make her fantasy come true?- Would the neighbors call the cops?- Would she call the cops?- What do I say to the cops?- I don't think I'd make it as someone's prison bitch! All this takes place in about ten seconds before I just smile and walk by.

As I've said these are my opinions and are not to be applied to Men everywhere.

A random number of things that suck when you're a Man
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Most Helpful Guy

  • gapminder

    Ah yes the creepy thoughts. Well I consider them normal and definitely perverted. But I also find humor in the fact that like you mentioned, I too can and do have the same thoughts about "almost" every woman I see. A trip to the grocery store is like "yup, her, her, oh her bent over the stroller, yeah totally the chick in the frozen food section. I wonder if that grandma still bangs?, oh that Asian couple is probably into some kinky shit. Oh god yoga pants over there can get the D, that milf with her teenage son totally wants it, I wonder if sports bra over there can put her ankles behind her ears, I'd like to find out, oh hello, smile and nod... hold the door, have a nice day. It's honestly my favorite part about grocery shopping. ... hahahaha!

    Like 1 Person
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Poppykate

    Lmao your creepy thoughts are funny!

    Like 4 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Poppykate

      Thanks for the MHG!

    • Poppykate

      ... OMG 😲 word bubbles above my head AREN'T real! ... then what am I seeing... 😢... lol 😂

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What Girls & Guys Said

2228
  • ObscuredBeyond

    I would have to agree with most of this list. Only, on the last one, the though process is more like this:

    "She's kinda cute. And she's not a cold-hearted bitch like the other one. Or maybe she is, but she hides it better. But give her a chance, man! She can't be that bad! But what if she's only pretending to be nice, so she can get me to talk and then twist my words to start trouble? Do I compliment her, or am I walking into a trap? She smiled and giggled. Maybe she likes me for real. Don't get cocky. The last one led you on for months before stabbing you in the back. Just five her, and say something friendly, then get back to work. Retreat. Exit strategy. Minimize the potential for damage to be done. Oh, but I want company! She'd make a great girlfriend! Can't know that for certain! Don't be in such a hurry! A hurry? I've been wanting this my whole life! If she doesn't make trouble for you, someone else will. They won't let you be happy! They can't stop me forever! They will try!"
    ============
    @VampireEmpress: Gay guys do whatever they want, because the Gaystapo and Obama will take a steamroller to anyone who openly questions them over a faux pas. Including just recently, a T-shirt business that wanted to stay out of marriage politics was told "print pride T-shirts, or else." The owner refused to be extorted by the Rainbow Mafia. He is now forced into a re-education camp. And this is on American soil. Straight-up Soviet BS.

    Like 2 People
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  • AllThatSweetJazz

    No guys wants to hear too much about other guy's sex stuff. If you are it's a sign you're talking to stupid guys. Don't lump me in with idiots.

    Most guys aren't actually that emotionally retarded. Who teaches that crap? Maybe it's a previous generation thing. We're past all that manly gender role bullshit, so can you not make us look retarded?

    The rest is basically true.

    Like 2 People
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    • "As I've said these are my opinions and are not to be applied to Men everywhere."

    • You could tack that after saying anything as a way of making things seem generally true and I don't think that they are. So I'm voicing that not only does this not apply to me but I don't it applies to the *vast* majority of men. People tack that onto all sorts of things to get away with their misrepresentations.

    • Actually I tacked that on because last time I did this I got some flack over using "we" over "I." Even though these are titled "My-Takes" I didn't want any misinterpretation this time.

  • Lolomon

    This has to be am American things, in Europe men hug even kiss on the check. not weird at all. Men are a lot more emotional and not afraid to show it but they are also a lot more macho and stick to the norms of the sexes and Europeans like it that way. every culture has their ups and downs

    Like 4 People
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    • Americans are very repressed emotionally.

    • spuitkaas

      I don't know where you're from but most men don't like to kiss eachother and the hugs men give are most of the time 'man hugs'. Not sure about the emotional part though. Never been in the USA..

  • VampireEmpress

    things don't have to feel this way. even gay guys act however the hell they want to and no one cares. just do what you want. and the shaving thing applies to women too. I used to shave everyday, until I finally decided to just stick to trimming everywhere. and... women have way more perverted thoughts. like all the online sex and incest stories on fanfiction. net and the other sites like that? written by wooommmeeennn!

    Happy Halloween LOL

    LikeDisagree 2 People
    Reply
  • Prettygurl12

    Was expecting a self-pity, woman hating rant.

    Did not get one.

    Good read.

    LikeDisagree 22 People
    Reply
  • LittleSally

    Haha Nice one!

    =)

    The awkwardness of men bonding - I've seen it... Awkward. o. O

    Like 9 People
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  • GirlScout

    I have ZERO sympathy for the shaving, you have a face, you don't have two legs, two armpits and a crotch to keep trimmed, otherwise you're a disgusting hairy hippy.

    Sorry.

    Like 2 People
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    • Oh no I've given up the shaving, full on beard now. Still have to trim the beard and the crotch as well. You've only got the arms and the pits over me.

    • GirlScout

      You shave your legs?

    • Whoops three things. lol I do know a few guys that do shave their legs though and one that just shaves the hair that is usually covered by socks.

    • Show All
  • AbbyKay

    For once a guy posts something like this that doesn't belittle women's problems! Bravo you've earned my respect :) It's hard to be a man or woman or whatever and one's problems doesn't make the other's not as bad. i can tell that you get that. nice My Take!!

    Like 2 People
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  • Unit1

    Funny! I released just yesterday my take on the very same subject.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a23138-few-things-i-do-not-like-in-being-a-male

    As for YOUR take, I like having a beard, so I don't see an issue with that ;) Or the thoughts, I can control them. I also see nothing wrong with being polite to anybody, not just women (old style). When it comes to emotion, specifically anger, I think it's about how we deal with the stress. We can keep it and get burnt or we can get over it in different ways. I wouldn't get clouded by emotions. I'm just a logical and undead person, that's it.
    As for bonding with other males, you just have to find the correct people, who aren't uninteresting as the one's you've dealt with. Believe it or not, in my work I have good colleagues, who aren't constantly talking about cars, women, sex and common stuff as there isn't anything else in this miserable world (haha). They are open people and have their own interests.

    Like 1 Person
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  • RationalLioness

    I'm sorry that you feel that way. I know that every male is different, but I've only been around those who simply don't care about what others see them as (due to the fact that someone making an assumption on someone they do not know is simply idiotic). They seem the exact opposite of you.

    It's really eye opening for me to sort of interact with males who are completely different than what I'm used to.

    Like 2 People
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  • Doffydood

    If sports, cars, comedy and porn are the four main conversation topics with the guys you're around, you need to find another circle of friends.

    Like 10 People
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  • devilish-cutie

    tnx for the post, it was really interesting
    just my take on the 6.
    the thing with that is that some of us gals don't really like some special attention just cause we're females so we need some extra special treatment
    all I want to is to be considered as a person rather than female
    it's ok to hold the door like you would hold it for your guy friend
    like being kind to a person, not treating me someway special cause I'm a female

    Like 1 Person
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  • AnOrdinaryGirl45

    It makes me angry that society puts a pressure on men to deal with emotional things by being angry. Crying = You are a pussy.
    Anger = Sexy or Strong etc..

    Like 4 People
    Reply
    • It's not really "society," so much as it is natural selection. Men who don't behave that way don't end up being selected for reproduction.

  • Roostah

    Being automatically assumed to be a potential rapist because you were born with a penis.

    Like 7 People
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    • Roostah

      Another one. Can't show affection to kids without people thinking your some sort of pedophile.

  • PMGB77

    If you want to bond with other men, learn to brew beer. I have a hell of a lot of fun lighting up the brewery whenever one of my wife's friends come over and drag's their husband along. They always walk in with this look of "dude, I really don't want to be here" and then usually leave with the need to come back and brew some more with me.

    Like 1 Person
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  • bluenose1872

    I like the shaving the beard and face looks stupid one. My face looks like a potato when I shave clean. Does everybody look stupid to themselves or is it just me? I agree with the second guessing yourself every time you talk to a woman. You get the impression they think every guys a creep until proven otherwise.

    Like 1 Person
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  • lost_kitten

    It sounds like it really sucks but maybe it's the people you hang out with?

    Like 1 Person
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  • DarkHumorRUs

    Girls these days ALWAYS try to return the door-holding favor. Kinda bothers me for some reason. It's like they have to justify themselves and are actively trying to tell me that they can do what men can do... I fuckin' know that, I just wanna both doors open because it's polite and I can and why don't you appreciate that?

    These Takes are too stream-of-consciousness sometimes, man. I don't like the way a lot of you think.

    Reply
  • Tacticious

    OMG #4!

    I'm sick and fucking tired of women thinking I want to get in their damn pants because I'm nice.

    A compliment is not a pick up line. AMEN to THAT!

    Like 1 Person
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  • Marshmellowking

    It's kinda samish for girls. Especially the shaving😂 but you guys have it easier when masterbating and peeing standing up seems a lot better than trying to squat over some nasty ass porta potty😂

    Like 1 Person
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