If a guy wants something he'll do it. He's not stupid. Trust me, he knows you exist and he knows where to find you. Don't text him. Let him miss your company...The thing with guys is sometimes they take a girl for granted when she's constantly there. He doesn't get the chance to miss you or yearn for your company. I'm not saying that you shouldn't text him at ALL...I'm just saying keep it to a minimum. If you intiated the last convo..the ball is in his court. If he doesn't keep the game going...Leave and don't look back!
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No, just because he is male doesn't mean you should be playing mind games. If you are interested, then initiate. If you initiate all the time, then gauge if he really is as interested as you are. But this take here is a recipe for playing games and manipulation.300
What Girls & Guys Said
Women are not stupid either. if they want a guy they know where to find him,.
i seen reason this post is directed towards women, or anyone for that matter. let people sort out for themselves what they are comfortable doing.
its also really degrading to be telling women they shouldn't do anything bc the only person who matters is the guy.
iof a woman is interested shell do something. same with a guy. its people who are not interested who do nothing.. and in time this will become clear to the other party,.
if you keep texting a woman or man who is not interested you'll eventually realize they are not interested and you'll stop. and move on.,
if a woman or man only likes you if you play games,. then as long as you plays games you'll never figure out out.
also if someone likes yo but doesn't like texting they should TEWLL you not make you guess.
by acting against your nature it just makes it take that much longer to determine how the other feels.
i say be who you are and if they dont like it all the better for you to find out.
whats the point of being who you are not to artificially improve someones behavior towards you.. so you can what be with them and be miserable.
people who only want people who act uninterested will never actually want those people. EVER. its a fools errand trying to trick them into looking you with perceived absence. and since i think your theme is about desperation its disparate. tricking people into thinking you are who you are not so they'll like you is disparity,.
if you're a big texted be a texted. accept they may not like you., if you like to initiate things initiate things,. if they can't handle it let them move on. you have to be brave and honest with dating or you'll be a s;lave to the other person forever.
i dont think the point of dating is to have just anyones who you can convince to like you. l i think the point is to find someone you like why likes you,.
so let the texters text until they decided otherwise:)11
It should be equal dang you other teen girls are playing games. That's why y'all can't find something serious. There's nothing wrong with showing attraction and texting back again even if he doesn't respond. Stop playing these childish games if you like a guy and enjoy his company then what's wrong with constantly trying to talk to him. Everyone is sick of the whole I don't text twice bullshit because honestly it shouldn't matter. I texted my boyfriend back to back before we were in a relationship and you know what he said. He appreciated the fact that I wasn't trying to play hard to get and that I enjoyed his company so much that I didn't care about saving face or whatever. Texting back immediately or double texting doesn't make him automatically think you're desperate in fact they appreciate that you don't care. These texting games are stupid honestly I know some girls who get replies late so they wait the same amount of time before replying even if they got the message right after he sent it. How stupid is that like can the guy not have been busy? Girls depend on texting too much if you ask me if you want to have a full blown conversation then call the man or Facetime him. That way you have his full attention and you can both talk as long as you're able. To be completely honest my phone isn't always in my phone so yes my replies will be late sometimes but why should I have to be penalized into waiting for a response when I was simply busy? Yes he should miss your company but not like this. By missing your company he should be like aww man this movie would be great if (the girl) was here. He shouldn't be feeling like OMG WHY ISN'T SHE TEXTING BACK! That doesn't make him miss you it makes people annoyed especially if we know you got the message and you're just trying to play the texting game. Girls please don't listen to this advice because this chick is an idiot. If he's taking you for granted for constantly being there without you being clingy then he's an asshole. A real man would appreciate the fact that his girl has his back :) Do not keep it to a minimum show that you're attracted and interested in him. I personally wouldn't give up until he tells me he's uninterested because that's how I got out of the friend zone with my ex lol I kept at it and pretty soon he started seeing what I saw in him lol. Also before someone says he settled he had plenty of other girls after him as well and they were a couple who were prettier so no he didn't settle for me29
Like I'm sure every other guy has says this is a pretty poor plan for several reasons.
1. "If a guy wants something he'll do it" this is just false. If it was true every man would be a millionaire. Want does not always equal action. Plenty of guys will take your texting habits as a negative sign and may give up. Which may be a good plan to you but it seems pointless to me. Why encourage people to give up.
2. It's manipulative. Why not just be direct? I promise you you're never as good at manipulating other people's behavior as you think you are and the older you get the harder it'll be.
3. You're not the first girl to think this up. In fact your not the millionth girl to think this up. Girls have been trying this since cell phones were made. Do you not think men don't know what you're doing. A lot of men will immediately recognize your plan and purposefully play with you. It's like guessing the plot of a movie. It always makes you hate the movie a little bit.
4. This doesn't create interest it creates drama. No man has ever liked a woman more because she made him try harder. He may work more and try harder for a relationship but he's not doing it because he's more interest in you he's just responding to the drama you're trying to create. It's called loss aversion. It's a proven psychological phenomenon that basically states we have a stronger desire to avoid loss than we desire to obtain more. As soon as you stop all the drama goes away and he'll loose interest because the most interesting thing you've done to keep him around was make him feel like you were leaving. Your entire relationship becomes built around a fear of abandonment and not a desire to be closer.70
If a girl wants something she'll do it. She's not stupid. trust me she knows you exist and she knows where to find you. Don't text her. Let her Miss your company... Thing with girls is sometimes they take a guy for granted when he's constantly there. She doesn't get the chance to miss you or yearn for your company. I'm not saying that you shouldn't text her at All... I'm just saying keep it to a minimum. If you initiated the last convo.. the ball is in her court. If she doesn't keep the game going... Leave and don't look back!83
do you truly believe that this works? i have bad news for you , it doesn't.
why the hell would i want a girl who is ignoring me on purpose? iam quite smart and its easy to see if she likes me or not and regardless of her feelings if she starts acting like this , iam gone you won't find me anywhere near , i will looking for a girl who shows as much interest as i do , if not she's gone too.
I've done it before , i ignored and cut off a girl i was in love with because she started acting like a bitch and ignoring me on purpose , she got mad and tried fixing it and told me she had "issues" ... yeah that didn't work much.
in short we are guys and we are different from girls , we go for girls who give us attention , if i see two attractive girls , the one who gives the most attention wins me , if neither do i have other options and most guys do , i dont ask questions , i dont get mad i dont try thinking about you... if you do this iam leaving without saying a word.44
The reason why so many relationships fail to take off is because both parties play stupid mind games as you are describing. Almost every girl I know who is 25-30 and still single are the type to play stupid mind games and texting ping pong matches, where they only reply a few hours or days after they've read the last message. It gives the message to both parties that neither is interested, even if both people like each other. Even if it were possible for a relationship to spark, these games usually extinguish any spark of romance very quickly.
The result is perpetually single, dissatisfied men and women, complaining about how the other gender sucks so much. Meanwhile, those who never stoop so low to play these games are in a happy relationship.50
This is a perfect way to lose a guy who respects himself. It works 100% girls! Rest assured, it'll help you find only the desperate and low self-esteem guys. In the beginning, I initiate all the chats, but after a while, i expect the raatio to be 50-50. If not, her no. goes off my contact list.110
Nope, this is the most thing i hate about girls. If we DON'T see you texting us and initiating often, then we think you are NOT INTERESTED in us.
STick this in your mind and let it sink deep forever. My advice to every girl in here reading this; Stop these stupid ass games because grown up men want grown up women. Do what you really want to do and don't be bound by those stupid rules of stupid games. Nothing more awesome than a free woman that follows what her guts tell her.88
"If a guy wants something he'll do it."
Or... not. Just because you say words doesn't make them true.
"they take a girl for granted when she's constantly there"
I appreciate you more for always being there.
"Let him miss your company"
Don't play mind games. If I get the inkling that you're doing it on purpose - and the whole point of this thing is saying to do it on purpose - then I'm outties. I actually want to enjoy the idea that you'll always be around... what you're doing is exactly the opposite of that... stop.
"If he doesn't keep the game going... Leave and don't look back!"
Ugh, arbitrary ultimatums... ugh.50
This is exactly what guys are talking about when they say girls play mind games. If I'm interested in someone I will call them and talk to them and show them I am interested. I don't need to pretend and be disingenuous about anything. If they don't like me for it then fine, we wouldn't have worked out anyway because that is the type of girlfriend I am. My boyfriend met me and at the time he didn't want a relationship. I continued to be myself, I called him when I wanted, said the things I wanted to say and now we're happily in love going on two years. I will never pretend to be something I'm not, if I want to call you I'm gonna call you.22
If you do this then you will lose the guy. Why? Because you are not the only one on his list.
A guy will generally pursue a girl he likes as long as the chase is interesting. You have to give enough to keep him interested or other girls will get to him 1st.
You want a guy to value you for who you are then don't play games with him. Be a lady. Act with grace, thoughts and above all confident.90
You know, this is crap. What if a guy is super busy and has 87 different things on his mind, at one time? What if he isn't always on top of everything, so he needs you ro be there for him, when he wants to talk? What if he's no good at initiating contact because he's forgetful or shy?
I don't mind initiating contact with him, first, if a guy wants. Mind games are classically ignorant and any guy or girl that plays them is not ready for an adult relationship. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but... This mytake happens to be inaccurate. :(10
This is why I hate texting and dating. There are times where a girl could wanna text and initiate it most of the time and then they may text a lot in the beginning and ask to text or either they'll give one word replies and do nothing to further the conversation which makes me wonder if the girl is shy or is uninterested and I'm bugging her.
Then there's times where I'll have a date with a girl who's very interested initially and we could have a good date where we hit it off and then flake out of the blue, ignore texts, etc without any explanation which causes me to over analyze and make me thing I fucked up big time. While texting is convenient, it also fucks up a lot of things and causes mind games.73
Or I'll get turned off because she isn't initiating anything and then I'll move on and go find another girl who is a little more hands on, thats probably the more likely scenario, I'm not going to waste all my energy doing everything for this girl, especially with texting, I dont text girls to begin with, even if I like her thats not going to change, so if she is waiting for me to text her she is going to go to her grave before that text comes, if she wants to talk to me so much she can initiate it herself. This is not a good piece of advice because then I will just lose interest and move on, I'm not going to beat around the bush or waste energy, time, or money, trying to pursue a girl that isn't showing interest, I'll go find one that does.30
If a girl wants something she'll do it. She's not stupid. Trust me, she knows you exist and she knows where to find you. Don't text her. Let her miss your company... The thing with girls is sometimes they take a guy for granted when he's constantly there. She doesn't get the chance to miss you or yearn for your company. I'm not saying that you shouldn't text her at ALL... I'm just saying keep it to a minimum. If you intiated the last convo.. the ball is in her court. If she doesn't keep the game going... Leave and don't look back!
In other words: that he's male doesn't mean he should always be the one to initiate. Stop playing fucking games.40
This is incredibly stupid and sexist. This advice is the perfect way to lose a great guy.
STOP PLAYING MIND GAMES. If you really think a guy should "prove himself" by playing stupid little mind games, then I don't think you're ready for a boyfriend yet. How old are you, 12?
No doubt you'll passively-aggressively downvote this opinion, like you did with all the others who disagreed with you. You don't seem like a very likeable person.60
"If a guy wants something he'll do it. He's not stupid" So I'm guessing you're encouraging girls to act stupid and not do anything when they want us, right?
5 lines and pure crap, you got a record a think :/110
This is more annoying than helpful. If a girl does this to me, I do miss her company but at the same time I start thinking she isn't interested in me so I will just not text her as well. I love when a girl initiates contact sometimes and other times the guy does it and both times, it leads to a good conversation.
I hate playing games and just avoiding texting the other person because you want to get some sort of reaction/feelings to arouse from it.40
I get what your saying. I was in a relationship like that and it wasn't fun. I put in 90% of the work. He never called, or text me I always had to initiate the contact, but I saw him everyday. When valentines, my bday or Christmas came around he didn't do or get me anything. He always wanted to stay at the house and never go anywhere with me, but always made time for his friends. We talked about it and nothing changed so I left. After leaving all he do is blow up my phone, he wanna go out now and everything. But for me its to late and now I'm moving on22
I think everyone should do what they feel to do! You can text him first, you can make the fist step, you can initiate a conversation its not that guy should do all that first or it is wrong if the female does that. You won't change his perception about you if you do that. There are many guys who are not interested but there are msny more out there who are shy, or afraid of rejection, or who like the woman to make the first step. So yeah, DO text him if you feel like it ;).21
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Wait, so why is it only the guy that should initiate? If the girl wants it, why wouldn't she do it herself? Women are perfectly capable of doing it too, we're growing out of the whole gender-role expectation as time goes on, so I still don't get this mentality.
It seems silly to me to play these sort of games of cat and mouse: yes, it should never be only one party always initiating, but then again, both parties should actively be pursuing the other, it should never fall to the soul responsibility of one person. If you both like each other then you BOTH should be putting effort forth, to expect someone to simply chase after you, regardless of gender, is self entitled and lazy in my opinion.
If you want to talk to each other, talk to each other, don't play unnecessary games where you limit how much you talk to them. Would you limit showing how much you care about somebody if they were right in front of you? No. Being honest with your feelings and making equal amounts of effort is a good way to keep people from having to guess how interested you are or feeling like you have to constantly prove yourselves to them.
A person will never intiate contact with a person they're not interested in. Women tend to forget that there's limitations to chasing a man. Men are logical. Women do things out of emotions. Men are literally programmed to chase and if he really wants you, there is no excuses, he WILL find a way to get you. No one said anything about women not "capable" of texting a man. It's not about mind games. It's about self worth. Women need to. understand that they need to give the man a chance to chase. That's his thinking and that will never change. Like I said before text if you want to text but it's. a two way street. if one does not return the favour they will know where they stand.
I think that's a painful stereotype and I think you're severely limiting and underestimating women. I think women are completely capable of being logical and I don't think making a man initiate is self worth, that comes from within. I personally just do not at all believe in gender roles where a man has to "chase" a woman. I think if two people care about each other, then they'll come together. It shouldn't be about pulling away and chasing, women aren't prey to be captured.
But hey, that's just me.
She's not saying he has to chase but more or less he has a need, I guess. Especially if he is interested. While I do hate games, in some ways what she is saying does make sense. If a guy is willing to do a little chasing then he is interested. A guy will not chase if it's just a mere booty call. I do agree with you that a woman should send the first text if she wants, I myself have been the initiator in the past and they were all failed attempts. Therefore, I let the guys do all the initiating now so I am not wasting my time and efforts on a guy who is no where near being interested in me. As for women being more emotional, of course we are. That's psychology 101. Yes women are perfectly capable of being logical, but in the end we definitely make more of our decisions based off of our feelings. This in no way shape or form makes a woman less than a man. It just makes us women.
I still don't believe that love should be a "chase." It isn't a game. Why is it not considered a sign of interest if a woman chases? Why is it that the man has to be the chaser or he isn't interested? I just think it's a silly, worn out idea of gender roles that people don't even realize.
who said men want to chase? why do all women assume that ? heck we dont want to chase anyone we just want a normal human being that is a girl and we want her to be nice and caring and interested , nothing more nothing else , we do you get these ideas from?
also yeah we are mor logical and that usually means no texts=shes not interested , therefore we're no where to be seen , most guys dont think much about it and sneak out of the girls life , just like that