Now, I dunno why these topics are making rounds on G@G. Because it feels completely unnecessary and mundane. The nonsensical stereotypes of nice guys and bad guys are more fiction than fact. Like that nonsense that EL James and Stephanie Meyer and various other female novelists who make it to the NY Times Bestseller list spew in their novels. Gone are the days of Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott and heck even Ayn Rand who gave a comprehensive yet detailed analysis of the male psyche, even in their female centric novels. Men are just men. It is what we choose to be that makes us who we are. Not women.
Now, what makes for a bad boy? Why is the idea so popular among women?
a) Women like excitement and danger.(Who doesn't?)
b) They mostly take surface value and believe that they know everything there is to know about a guy.
c) There is always hope for a happy ending in a girls book.
Now it might be the culture shock or the climate of thought but more and more of the guys feel like the ladies would prefer a 'bad boy', or a rebel of sorts.
To the guys, STOP THIS RIGHT NOW.
All your doing is promoting is a lack of responsibility or a general disrespect for women. Both of these are fatalistic if you ever want to build a stable relationship with your girl. It is also shown that the "Bad Boy" inspires low self esteem in those who have low self confidence already. Which is plain stupid, I mean why? What about your own good points? Are you so worthless that you pity yourself because of someone else's confidence? Be your own man, if you ever feel dissatisfied with yourself, change yourself on your own terms.
Now since its the girls who actually passively promote the stereotype, in their own words I say
Its a matter of choice to you girls too. If a guy doesn't respect you, you have no obligation to be with him in the first place. Don't ever expect a man to change for you, or anybody for that matter. I think most women who choose 'bad boys' do it out of their maternal instinct. Regardless, a girl ought to know better than fuel his hubris. At the end of the day a jerk is a jerk, no matter how hot, how mysterious he is or how good he is in bed.
Now, what makes for a nice guy?
a) is decent and has a better safe than sorry attitude
b) somewhat of a pushover, there's something wrong with being too polite
c) there is always hope for a happy ending in his book
Now I'd say I like Mr. 'Nice Guy' over your average 'bad boy' just because he has somewhat more humility than them.. Humility is always a good sign, among either gender, it shows a willingness to understand and learn or even adapt. But where this goes horribly wrong is when they suffer from low self esteem, then we get your typiical "White Knights', Doormats, Shuttlers(someone who acts as a middleman between the girl he likes and her boyfriend in the hopes of gaining her favor, weird right?), second choice boyfriends and so on and so forth.
Also it doesn't help that these guys allow themselves to be picked on. Lord only knows why. It brings their self worth to such lows that they never feel that they deserve better, which is a tragedy, seeing that there are so many of them.
Don't be like this. If you want change, you ought to change yourself.
Now for the girls who date lesser men and feel like they deserve better.
This has happened more often than not, some women often sideline their most obvious and safest choice to an element of surprise. Why? Because of variety. A guy or girl who truly enjoy their lives are reluctant to commit because they can avoid the complications of a relationship. Ultimately, I guess when it comes to choices, men ought to decide where they stand and who they will be and not aspire to be someone else. When you aspire to be someone fake, you will never succeed.
To end things, guys, stop being so sensitive. The other day I saw this anon running around bitching about how he was bullied online. If you can't even own up online. What will you do in real life? Outside the safety of the walls of your room? You don't have to be a 'bad boy' to get respect. You just have to hold your own and just be your own guy. Because when something bad happens to you, its a learning curve. Its painful, but ithere's a lot to learn.
So to conclude, I will say this, the concept of 'nice guy' or 'bad guy' is redundant. Only you can choose what you want to be or who you want to be. No matter what any one says or does, the final choice is yours as Churchill couldn't have said it better
"A man does what he must-in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures-and that is the basis of all human morality"
Thank you for reading this long MyTake.