Why guys who have been hurt will keep getting hurt

[SaraLovesUnicorns]

Guys. They're as complicated as girls, even though they won't admit it. Guys who have been hurt are a little more complicated, though. Every guy's situation is different, therefore they all handle it differently. But the majority of guys I've met who have been hurt handle it like this:

They meet a girl. Everything is going good for the first week or so. They talk everyday and start to know more about each other, they get closer. And then he gets scared. What is going to happen if I get hurt again? I can't let that happen! I either keep going and get what I want then leave or I run! (Either option sucks for us girls)

option 1) guy continues to talk to girl, and she goes unsuspecting. After a while, they get together and do the deed, then he flees with no real explanation.

option 2) when I guy goes the route where he just bolts, he either drops all calls/texts/ etc. like a hot potato, or he makes up an excuse, i.e., I'm no good for you, you can do better, I didn't mean for it to go this far, blah, blah, blah.

Don't get me wrong. I understand how it feels to think that nothing good will ever happen to you again. That no one will ever replace that one person, and to think that you can't let someone into your life. But here is some advice: if you don't want it to potentially turn into something, don't fucking act like it. Tell me straight up, not a week and a half into it. Kay, thanks. Bye ✌🏻️

[AleDeEurope]

You think it's easy.
Of course we want to turn that into something, we just don't know how to do it and be sure you won't hurt us.
It's like a girl that got abused by her ex-bf. She's not distant cause she doesn't want to turn it into something, she's distant cause she doesn't want that to happen again.

You are wrong when you say a guy that has been hurt will get what he wants and leave. That's completely wrong. Not true at all. A guy that has been hurt won't use a girl for sex, cause he knows what being hurt feels like, and he doesn't want others to go through the same shit.

Most people that have suffer, tend to do whatever to not make others suffer.

[SunsetRose]

Sorry he hurt you. I don't think this is the case with most guys.

[Anonymous]

The funny thing about this are guys are not as complicated. We find you attractive. We ask you out. We continue to want to see you or do thoughtful romantic gestures then we like you.

However, the problem today is that women of this generation throw guys like this into the friend zone or move away from them because they aren't treating them like shit. The go for the guyknow typical not telling her she is beautiful, play on her insecurity and make fun of her, who take hours to respond to her calls, and who always try to pull out nude pics and escalate things to sex as soon as possible.

Another problem today is little girls are so full of themselves from social reinforcement of friends/families/thirsty males that they think a guy who looks like this:

https://i.imgur.com/FMNTJYs.jpg

They keep throwing themselves to the fire like pieces of wood for the guys who are already getting pussy at. These guys will tell you what you want to hear so they can fuck and chuck you and then throw away your number when your done.

But somehow women like delusional nice guys (WHO THEY DEMONIZE) think that if they show them their winning personality or give them the best sex they ever had would be enough to win out over the prettier girls who these guys truly want to have a relationship with.

pbs.twimg.com/media/CDjajIxUgAAakLT.jpg:large

Who have lower sexual partner count because they don't need the validation and aren't phase by the hot guy because they are pretty.

Also funny thing about this take,

Female demonstrate the same behavior towards average/below average guys or guys they don't find attractive.

They are all buddy buddy and friendly with them and once they think they don't need you anymore (SIMILAR TO THE PLAYER ABOVE)

The girl stops talking to you, drops your text and calls. And they do the same cowardly behavoir that the pretty boy/players do in the above take.

SO REALLY JUST A BUNCH OF HYPOCRISY FROM WOMEN.

[Opinion Owner]

*However, the problem today is that women of this generation throw guys like this into the friend zone or move away from them because they aren't treating them like shit. They go for guy who typical don't tell her she is beautiful, play on her insecurity and make fun of her, who take hours to respond to her calls, and who always try to pull out nude pics and escalate things to sex as soon as possible.

Another problem today is little girls are so full of themselves from social reinforcement of friends/families/thirsty males that they think a guy who looks like this below will actual commit to them for relationship:

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Sir, you are absolutely right. But you, they can't really control it. The same way a meth addict can't stop using meth. They are just hardwired by evolution to seek out better genes, aka attractive guys and ignore average and below guys. Evolution doesn't care about how we feel, its all about making the species better over time. Best to forget about it.

[DabieberRoyalty]

But Males are a bunch of hypocrites to. Infact more than woman are. You ru. around claiming how much of a good man you would be if the right woman came along and when she does you friend zone her because you saw a hotter woman who is more bitchy and nasty than the girl you friend zoned. You then date her and then get all hurt and shit when she runs away with half the cheques in your account and she drops your heart like it's hot.

Stop Acting like Men are saints who accept women for who they are because from where I'm standing the Male species is no better.

[Anonymous]

Honesly, every guy has been hurt at least once, what do i do? i simply do not care, i really dont care about anything or anyone nothing people do these days affects me cause when you dont care nothing really matters... as for doing the deed or fleeing and all that, iam not gonna play the expert here but if he guy doesn't view her as girlfriend material he's gonna leave her eventually, if he likes her and thinks she's great he will stick around and love her, but yes you got something right guys who have been hurt change not always for the best but they usually change, in my case i started having loads of self esteem and self worth i became confident and stopped giving a single shit about anyone or anything... did it help? well yes in short, girls give me attention like no before.

I struggle to find a decent, smart and fun girl who i find attractive as well but i guess gotta keep looking, just cause some girl hurt me once doesn't mean iam gonna be hurt forever, i kinda got my revenge and i've leanred some new things wasn't really the worst that could've happend but iam glad it happened i got an inside view on the girls world i got to experience and expirment for a while and realised what girls actually go for, it ain't easy i have lots of things to learn but for the most part, being hurt makes guys assholes but usually in a good way so they improve and stop being clingy and start valuing their own self.

[MrMuffinMan]

This is how I learned to cope with it. For me I act very pragmatically and straight-forward up front. So I won't pour my heart into it and end up getting hurt down the road when something comes up I was unaware of in their lifestyle. I figure the more your lifestyles match the less likely you are to break up. The girls tend to like more mystery though, this causes me to distance myself, because I then start treating it like a game, or I just am way too straight forward and they run the other way.

[10dsw]

Uhhh haaha yea I don't think you understand guys. Most guys don't run because they are scared of being "hurt again" or "scared".

They run because the girl just talks incessantly or gives them nothing to work with. If they feel they are making no progress they will ghost!

You silly uninformed you!

[Anonymous]

Abuse of men is acceptable in society... but abuse of women means demonization, ostracization or even jailtime for men.

Men are treated like shit in modern western society, but women are worshipped and idolized. Then we say we support EQUALITY of the sexes like trained dogs, even though we support supremacy of women.

Women need to stop getting the children and feminism needs to GO

[SaraLovesUnicorns]

I disagree with the statement that feminism needs to go. REAL feminism supports equality in ALL aspects, and not just some. The 'feminists' that are in today's society don't know the true meaning and therefore should not be labeled a feminist.

[Opinion Owner]

Nonsense. The name should have been removed in the name of equality and changed to egalitarianism a long time ago...

Emotional trauma is something that men are to be shamed and ridiculed for... While women receive all the support and sympathy in the world simply because they are women.

The women doing it to men are to be cheered... while the men doing it to women are demonized. Victim blaming is only acceptable for men.

[Clairehunti]

The women doing it to men are cheered? What are you basing your opinion on exactly? Abuse in any form is unacceptable. I've never ever heard that it is acceptable for a woman to abuse a man.. Then I would love to discuss why we need feminism but I would rather not go there since I don't want to start arguing.

[Opinion Owner]

When a woman throws water on a man during a date, she is not demonized, but instead it is often said that they guy was a jerk who deserved it YOU GO GIRL YOU DESERVE BETTER... even when women slap or kick in the balls... in the media when men are kicked in the balls, the women are cheered or it is funny... women beating men is the norm for feminist/modern western media.

Women commit the majority of domestic violence (up to 70%), and men sustain about half of all serious injuries during this... yet less than 1% of DV shelters are for men...

You women are worse than holocaust deniers.

[FatherJack]

You are correct , Sir , even my 9 year old daughter stated " Men & boys are always made to look stupid & gross , while the girls are always the clever ones " The lamestream " media " is a divisive propaganda tool.

[Clairehunti]

You have a point but you are expressing such bitterness. Change does not happen overnight and life isn't fair, I too have learned that as a WOMAN.

"You women are worse than holocaust deniers."

Do not generalize a gender. That's just plain stupid.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, the general truths make women and their army piss in their pants...

And men are to be shamed & blamed for supposed emotional trauma, while women are to receive all the help, sympathy and support in the world. New laws are coming out for emotional abuse towards women, while women shaming & crazy-making men is acceptable...

Just another day in feminazi society. We should have told you women back in the early 20th century that life isn't fair so just suck it up right? How the fuck is it acceptable for you to say it?/

Oh you're a woman so whatever you say goes. Did I ever say that feminist society will be destroyed tomorrow morning? Just another falsely accusing, patronizing, manipulative, bullshitting woman.

[Clairehunti]

Good, feminism will take over the world. Yes exactly. Take a chill pill and stop hating on women, you won't get very far with that attitude in life. xx

[Opinion Owner]

How can anyone take a chill pill when men are OPPRESSED 2nd class citizens who are being heavily brainwashed by mothers and there are MASSIVE human rights violations going on in the Western/Feminist world? How dare you ask me to take a chill pill? That's what we should have done in the early 20th century and denied you any rights when you were protesting.

Women have always been hated... and rightfully so!

[Clairehunti]

You need a hobby, clearly..

[Jager66]

No true Scott's man fallacy, just saying.

[PT1911]

Or option 3)

He got hurt so bad he just doesn't care anymore. Neither angry nor sad, just have it up for a while, and seeing all of his friends and such either SOs he wonders "where did he meet a girl like her?"

That pain is the worst, When he realized he met the lowest of the low the female gender had to offer. Kind of ties back into your opening paragraph actually

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Isint weird when you meet someone who just doesn't seem alive. Like they give so little of a damn they seem like a robot. Nothing bothers them, not sad, not mad. Just nothing. Its kind of sad to see really.

[FatherJack]

@LiveFreeorDieHard I'm ex British Army with friends in the US & Canadian forces , you see the same in combat veterans too , I suppose " shutting down " is a mental protective mechanism to reduce further damage.

[PT1911]

@FatherJack. I'm sure their level is even greater than mine.

[ManOnFire]

Lol. Another chick trying to act like she understands guys best.

[truthhammer]

exactly.

[Queen_naki5]

Most guys are normal or bitter. Women complicate things much more than men. We even try to analyze their behavior and it's all wrong usually. Many of them don't think like we do. This is why I hate taking advice about 'guy' stuff from women and 'women' stuff from guys. You just don't know.

[MoonlitSonata]

Option 3) He unintentionally acts weird or clingy around her to shut it down before anything begins.

Option 4) He purposefully or unintentionally shows her too much of his crazy and scares her off.

These too are me. Girls have hurt me a ton, and I haven't really been in a relationship.

[Spirit_Is_Free]

Yes, honesty and full disclosure of communications is important in any interaction that has relationship/no relationship aspects.

[skeptic007]

hun women think there better than men
so why waste a TON of my time on a girls who think there better than me
just fuck them and leave there not worth it

you women have too many issues

[AhGojira]

Can't relate at all. You don't know what you are talking about.

[DabieberRoyalty]

why can't people accept that some guys are Just not into you. It's really that simple sometimes.

[Scrambledagain]

Sounds like you got played lol

[lazermazer]

For little girl you got a big tank.. nice take

[BlasianGuy]

Umm.. I don't think you fully understand guys.

[Anonymous]

You're welcome.