The 4 Stages of an American Guy's Life

[Anonymous]

Given that another person had a swell time stereotyping girls, I write this Take to target guys. Of course, this is not true of ALL guys. I tend to associate with more upstanding, more traditional people. I know guys and gals who marry young, but I think they do it, because they would rather marry than cohabit. Americans are very diverse, and cohabitation (living together in a sexual relationship while being unmarried) is not accepted by all cultures. That said, the timeline below is my perception of the Mass Media American Guy Lifestyle.

Stage 1 [ The Extended Adolescent Years] (18-29 yrs)

Men of this life stage are still confused about their identity and purpose in life. They are attending university, and some may even go on to pursue post-graduate education. Some men may be working at minimum-wage jobs or at male-dominated entry-level jobs in the Construction industry or the Manufacturing industry. Some men may even pursue joining the military, so that they may be able to have the money to pay for college down the road. And alas, there are the losers, aka the "extended adolescents", who behave very much like adolescents. They stay at home in their parents' house, having no sex life, no education, no or low self-esteem, and other shit thrown in their lives. These men are the hopelessly lost. They may have high sex drives, being young adults and all, but they cannot channel their sex drives anywhere because women don't want a loser.

Stage 2 [The Settling Down Years] (30-49 yrs)

This life stage of men is a stage of settling down and starting a family. Early on, they may still be stuck in the "identity development stage", but as time progresses, they gradually mature and want to raise a family of their own. A man's greatest asset is his job, as that determines his socioeconomic status. No man wants a gold digger for a wife, because the gold-digger wife only wants his money, not him. So, such a woman is not worth the investment, because she may not take care of him in his old age. Yet, career women who earn more money than they do may have extremely high expectations and may taunt them about their meager salary later on. So, a man may be better off finding a wife who is well-educated and good-looking, comes from a good family or is of equal socioeconomic status, and earns slightly less money than they do due to a less prestigious job title.

Stage 3 [The Monogamy Stage] [50-65 yrs]

During the course of a man's life, he may receive job raises and promotions. His children are growing up and may be searching for a direction in their own lives. Some men divorce. Some men stay with their first and only wives their entire lives.

Stage 4 [Death . . . or Next Wife!] (65+ yrs)

At this stage, men retire from the workforce and grow older every day. They may die first, or their wives may die first. If their wives die first, then they may choose a second wife, preferably a much younger woman. While it may be acceptable for a very old man to marry a woman half his age in the 19th century, as shown in Jane Eyre, such an age disparity in the 21st century would receive public scorn and cynicism, as people would think that the woman is nothing but a gold digger.

[btbc92]

This is a very good take. But I have to add that this is not true for everybody. Age has nothing to do with being an adult. Monogamy does not start at 50. It starts when you get married. Not all men are confused at 18. Many know what they want and pursue their goals. Some parents and society in general make it tougher. Boys can control their sex drives, but they need to be taught early on how to do so. If people were taught that marrying young is NOT a death sentence, we can move forward more smoothly and both men and women can gain the confidence they need to succeed in life. Parents make the mistake of not teaching that and threatening their children to not marry early. Many successful marriages are from young marriages. But if you have an unhealthy view point with marriage, sex and love in general it can be costly at any age. Kids are smart when given a chance to grow and taught right from the beginning. Parents, STOP DUMBING DOWN YOUR CHILDREN!!! Or you will set them up for failure at love and years of heartache, many divorces and baby daddy/momma drama!

[myTake Owner]

This is a parody of "The 4 Stages of an American Girl's Life". I thought the other Take was funny. So, I'm parodying that Take with this Take. The other Take also makes a broad brushstroke.

[bcromartie]

He did it better.

[Impmuse]

Wow, I have too many thoughts. I know lots of adolescent as you call them , types. Our society didn't design a place for everyone, it's like the best rise to the top and f*** everybody else. The policy leaders of this country, and I can find documentation, historically shifting our lives away from forming bonds and family in a traditional sense, and moving it into a corporation, workplace environment. More so today than ever in my life, one must fit the culture at work, in order to be there. And have no time for families and sex and relationships outside. This leads to life long learning as an avenue to cope in, ( the longer adolescent stage ) and it leads to misunderstanding and strife between two generations. ( Parents on one and jobless young adult on the other. ) I'm kinda in the middle, and see both sides.

[myTake Owner]

This myTake is not supposed to be taken seriously. It's a reverse Take of "The 4 Stages of an American Girl's Life".

[Impmuse]

Missed that take. Thank you.

[myTake Owner]

You should read the Take with a grain of salt. The Take is primarily for amusement, stereotyping the life of an American guy. Obviously, people are more diverse than that. There really is no set of official stages. It'll be nice if humans are like animals, easily tested on and stuff, but nope, they are tough stuff to deal with. Sometimes, you have to play mind games and tricks to study human behavior and mind.

[AleDeEurope]

Damn, someone got hurt by the other Take hahaha