For anyone who finds this title immediately disagreeable, please read on and discover how I define these concepts.
Emotional: acting before thinking.
Unemotional: thinking before acting.
The quality of being "unemotional" is even considered a part of "toxic masculinity" in gender studies. It's far from "toxic". It may be one of the most important human virtues to strive towards for both males and females alike.
Provided the definitions above, hopefully most will agree that being "unemotional" is a great thing to strive towards. These definitions are far from arbitrary.
First, no human can be "unemotional" in the sense of being unfeeling (i.e., robotic). To feel is to be human, so such a definition of "unemotional" is inapplicable to human beings.
Secondly, to suggest that failing to communicate emotions is a sign of an "unemotional" being is likewise impractical, since those most guilty of doing this are often acting on their emotional impulses when they shut others out and refuse to communicate.
The definitions above are the most practical and applicable definitions to human behavior. To be an "unemotional" person is not to be an "unfeeling" one, but rather one who calmly choose actions with level-headed thought behind them.
A person who is very emotional will tend to always do or say things they immediately regret. Because their behavior is so compelled by their emotional impulses without any thought behind their actions, they will generally be driven to do things they regret time and time again. Yet they will often believe they are simply being "genuine" to themselves even at the cost of driving others away and accumulating a lifetime of regrets.
In extreme cases, a very emotional person's behavior will lead towards self-destruction. Extreme versions act without even considering whether their actions are beneficial even from a purely selfish standpoint.
An unemotional person, on the other hand, will tend to exhibit calmness and self-discipline. These are the people we can count on in times of conflict to be calm and level-headed in their actions. They have a tendency to deescalate conflicts and make things better when everything seems to be taking a turn for the worse.
Communicating feelings is neither an indicator of an emotional nor unemotional person when taken on its own. It depends on why a person is doing it and how they are motivated.
An emotional person communicating feelings would do so simply because he/she felt like it without even considering the consequences. For example, a very emotional guy might complain to everyone around him all the time about his life, his work, and how shitty it makes him feel. He'd do this without stopping to think for a moment about what effect it has on other people, and will do this even at the cost of driving everyone away and making things much worse.
An unemotional person communicating feelings would determine, through rational thought, that this is the best thing to do to improve a situation. For example, an unemotional lover might hug his girlfriend in a lover's quarrel and calmly and affectionately communicate feelings. If he chooses this course of action, he's doing so under the level-headed belief that this will improve the situation and improve mutual understanding.
Here are a few scenarios where I'll discuss potential differences between the emotional and unemotional person.
In times of physical danger, an emotional person may act out of fear and then panic and needlessly get themselves and others hurt.
An unemotional, self-disciplined person will overcome their fear and calmly work their way towards safety.
When two lovers quarrel, very emotional lovers will act on their emotional impulses. They may be overly sensitive and get offended easily over things that weren't even intended to offend, and begin and escalate arguments needlessly. In extreme cases, they may even become violent.
An unemotional lover in this scenario, even when confronted with a very emotional one, will strive to remain calm. He/she may gently talk and deescalate the conflict, seeking actions to work things out and improve their relationship instead of making it worse. The greatest of these will not sacrifice their calmness even when the other lover is doing everything he/she can to provoke.
In the case of someone who fails in some way in one of their goals, a very emotional person may be prone to depression. They may give up, they may complain endlessly and start blaming others for their failures. In extreme cases they may turn to extremely unhealthy ways to cope with their failures (substance abuse, e.g.) or even commit suicide.
An unemotional person in this scenario would try to learn from the failure, take accountability for it, and strive to succeed the next time around. They'd modify their behavior in ways that they believe would help them succeed in the near future. Unemotional people are strategic people who learn from their mistakes.
My Emotional Past
When I was younger, I was an emotional person. I didn't realize it. I wasn't sensitive in a classical way. I wasn't afraid of physical danger in the slightest as an adrenaline junkie. I wasn't prone to cry easily.
My main internal enemy was anger. I wasn't typically violent towards others when feeling anger yet I was prone to punch walls in anger. I was prone to escalate and escalate arguments needlessly when I thought my girlfriends were being irrational. When the arguments became bad, I would shut them out and refuse to communicate for a good while.
I always thought for a good period of my life that this was just my genuine self. I thought I couldn't help it. I thought people who were always calm and controlled were just people who didn't feel the same intense anger I was feeling.
In retrospect, I was completely wrong that I couldn't help but act on my strongest emotional impulses. After losing one of my dearest girlfriends largely as a result of my anger problems, I started to ask myself what I was doing wrong. For a period I wanted to blame her for many things. She wasn't a saint but I was trying to excuse my poor behavior. I began to realize that poor behavior is inexcusable no matter what. I started to develop a sense of accountability.
Furthermore, with subsequent girlfriends, I found when I was furious at them that I could pause, relax, just take a few seconds to time out and then ask myself, "Is what I want to do next going to make things better or worse?" My natural inclination was always to do something that would definitely make things worse. When I finally got around to asking myself these questions when feeling such anger, I was able to surprise myself and even hug the girl I hated in the moment and affectionately talk things out.
The girls then melted, becoming calm, and our relationships improved. The arguments deescalated before they even became an issue, and they also became less frequent. With my now-wife, we haven't argued a single time in years, and the last one only lasted about 30 seconds.
This became my start towards becoming a truly "unemotional" person, and when I started getting the hang of resisting my emotions even when they were screaming and telling me to do something bad, it became easier and easier to overcome them. The first time was the hardest since I had never defied my intense anger before. The second time was already significantly easier. Now I can do it almost effortlessly.
I recommend to anyone, male or female, to try controlling themselves when they are feeling intense negative emotions. Just stop and pause for a second, become conscious of yourself, and think. This is all that's required to stop repeatedly doing things we immediately regret. Learning how to do this and mastering this will make everyone's life better as well as the lives of those around them. It's something no one can do perfectly, I imagine, but it's something everyone can and should strive towards.
I guarantee to those who strive for this that it will make your life better. It will improve your relationships with everyone around you (family, friends, colleagues, lovers).
This self-discipline also has a tendency to reduce the intensity of negative emotions. It's not because the discipline is making you an "unfeeling" person, but because you will tend to deescalate conflicts that can cause you to become more and more upset the longer they continue.
In conclusion, I hope I've made a reasonable case for why giving into emotional impulses is a weakness, and why striving to be unemotional is a strength. This is not simply a masculine quality. It's something women can master as well.