Women's Grooming Is Done For Themselves - Not For You

[LittleSally]

Disclaimer: This mytake is written for those people who love to give unsolicited comments and malicious 'advice' to women concerning anything to do with their appearance. I realize most people don't do this, but there are those who do (boys not men), so this is for you!

As you all know - people, in general - who are healthy, stable minded and independent groom themselves as they please - for themselves...not for others.

Yet, this is a common fact most little boys seem to disregard and pretend that women or girls wear makeup for them, put on fake tan for them, have fake nails or lashes for them...even get plastic surgery for them...

It's a ridiculous world these boys live in.

And I say boys, because men don't think of the world that egocentrically... Men are men, while boys are just that - and probably won't ever grow up... Which is fine with other people, but not with them - because they don't understand the world in an objective way... Which might make them more angry and lonely: and bitter and make them join one of those "I'm the best and everyone else who doesn't share my own, subjective viewpoint of life and what everyone else should be doing is a misandric person clubs..." - because, in their heads, they speak for their gender...which is so unfair to those normal people (which are definitely in the majority here).

A women/girl will put on makeup, get a fake tan, get a tattoo, wear a short dress or see through shirt if she wants to and feels it's awesome for that particular occasion or day... and she's allowed to do those things without getting your comments on how YOU don't find it appealing.

Did she ask you your opinion?

I'm betting she didn't....

So, please, stick to what you know and let other people live their own lives.

[AleDeEurope]

You really expect us to believe this? Hahahahah come on, how many girls say they don't shave their legs on winter because no one's gonna see them?
How many girls put on full makeup when they're just gonna stay at home watching TV?
How many girls put on a nice dress and all the complements when they're staying home?
How many girls don't spend more time on their looks when they're single?
How many girls walk around the house on heels?

You can bullshit yourself all you want, and attack us by calling us boys, but it's you, women, who actually have admitted (directly or indirectly) that you dress up mostly for others, and not just men, but women too.
If most people dressed for themselves not caring about others at all, everyone would be walking around on sweatpants and oversized hoodies/shirts, with old sneakers, because we'd all be thinking about comfort.

This Take all it tells me is that you're not in touch with reality...

P. S.: She is allowed to do those things, just like I'm allowed to comment on them. The level of ego you gotta have to believe you deserve no judgement is off the roof.

[AleDeEurope]

and not just women, but men too*

[FakeName123]

I wanted to saypretty much the same, but you did it already. It's ridiculous how people tell themselves this bullshit. Thus I will just add the following reaction to this Take:

cdn.smosh.com/.../laughing-gifs-jonah-jameson.gif

[MysteriousDarkness]

@AleDeEurope You this if everyone dressed for themselves not caring about others at all, everyone would be walking around in sweatpants and oversized hoodies/shirts, with old sneakers. Not everyone likes sweatpants and or hoodies/oversized shirts.
Just because someone is not wearing so called comfort clothes means it is always for others. I will use myself as an example. When I wear black lipstick, black nail polish, black leather wristband with three straps, black and red leather choker with spikes, shirt with a picture on it for example a demon or a saying for example I live in my own little world but it's okay at least they know me here, bondage panuts and black patent leather boots with red verticle flames is for others? I do it because I love that look. If others compliment me on it then it is an added bonus.
What if a woman wore a dress with thin straps that showed off her arms and legs and wore open to wedges with no visible body hair? Now what if that same women wore the same

[MysteriousDarkness]

dress and wedges but had visibly hairy arm pits and visibly hairy legs. In the first scenario she got lit of compliments on her dress and wedges. In the second scenario she decided to have visible body hair. What do you have to say?

[lovelyhoneybones]

That's bullshit. Every women, to some extent can agree that we do in fact groom ourselves for the opposite sex. It's in our nature to do so. That's how we attract mates. Animals even do the same thing and we're apart of the animal kingdom.

More than half of the women who wear makeup don't even bothering getting dolled up if they know males won't be around. That could mean men in general or one male in particular. If they're hanging out with their friends, they don't bother getting done up. If they're home alone, they don't bother even doing their hair.

[LittleSally]

I get your point... but a teenager WOULD dress more for others... While a grown person really wouldn't. Unless it's for a job...

[lovelyhoneybones]

I would disagree with that. I know plenty of grown women who dress up for other people. Again, it's in our nature.

[fabulouspancakes]

I agree partially. I do SOME grooming for men (especially my boyfriend), and SOME grooming for myself/other women.

For him:
Shaving body hair
Keeping weight down
Keeping skin soft
Being clean and smelling good
Keeping hair long
Wearing basic/minimal makeup
Sexy outfits (sometimes)

I do these things not only because they make me feel good but also because they're what he notices/cares about, and I want him to find me attractive. But as far as what strange men on the internet think, their unsolicited opinion is not welcome.

For me/women:
Fashionable/fun clothes
Hair color/style
More dramatic or trendy makeup
Pedicure
Jewelry
Accessories
Tan (perhaps that's somewhat for him too)

Those are things he doesn't even understand or care about.

So yeah, it's a mixture. Generally speaking, women do the grooming "basics" to attract or keep a partner. Anything trendy or extra is probably for herself or to impress other women. Plastic surgery can be either a personal thing or to make oneself more attractive, or both.

[Giacomanzo]

Yeah, we are fucking animals, and being part of the Animal reign, we enchance ourselves as much as we can to attract others. Why the fuck people see that as a bad trait?

[fabulouspancakes]

@Giacomanzo I don't know, it shouldn't be a bad thing.

[CubsterShura]

To everyone saying girls obviously groom themselves to impress boys: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

If it was really that, then I would start bleaching my skin and shaving my arms and legs ages ago because since my birth I'm picked at for my dark skin. Even my ex used to tell me I'd look so beautiful if my skin was pale. Guess what? I don't care.

Nor do I care how appealing you find my hair. Long hair is specially desired here, with girls growing their hair past their butts. My hair falls like a cancer patient so I prefer to keep my hair shoulder-length to keep it easier to manage? I don't care what people say, so many boys said long hair is key to beauty, but I have my choice and no one can force me to grow my hair long. If my short hair hurts you so much then you pay for my hair products, doctor's appointment and vitamin pills? You're not doing that!

Years of workout gave me a fine body. Yes I can safely say my body is in a good shape. But I still choose to dress modestly. I could have worn tight clothes for boys to notice me but I don't.

But I'm a huge makeup lover and a fashion freak. For whom? MYSELF BITCH, BYE.

[Username15464]

You're just telling us the things you're not doing to impress Men/women, And most likely ignoring the things you're actually doing to impress others.

[CubsterShura]

@Username15464 Another guy tho believes he knows a girl better than she knows herself, lmao. I did mention that I'm a huge makeup and fashion freak, and I take care of my skin and hair too. II also workout. And guess what? Neither of it is for you. I like to dress well, and that's enough for me to wanna dress well. I could easily wear tight clothes to attract boys but I never do that, I'm not up for public display. No matter how much boys I look better without makeup, my love for makeup is unbreakable. I take care of my skin because I hate breaking out. I take care of my hair to keep it healthy. I exercise for my own damn fitness, again, I don't show off my body so for whom do I workout so much? Myself, honey. Sorry that I don't give in to your fragile little ego, is it hurting now? <3

[Frosteh]

Actually there's quite a lot of evidence to back up why makeup and grooming is done the way it is done.

We know that eyeliner highlights the eyes and creates more contrast with the whites of the eyes which signifies good health. We also know that makeup around the eyes is used to make them look bigger which is indicative of more child like proportions, studies have shown that neoteny (child like features in adults) increases attractiveness to men.

We know that foundation is used to cover blemishes which mimics clear skin which is another sign of health, and that it can be used to correct asymmetry in the face, again which is a marker of good genes/health.

Blush is added over the top, we know that women who are ovulating blush more easily and so signifies sexual readiness to men, and again men find it more attractive and aluring.

The idea that womens makeup is in any way to please them is not supported by the evidence, makeup tricks the evolved male biological systems into being more attracted to the woman.

You provide no evidence for your assertions, you just shame men over and over again by calling them boys and insinuate that only healthy minded people groom themselves for themselves. Yet you provide no evidence of this at all.

[Jaquav]

This is absolutely ridiculous. Let me explain why. When people like each other, they do stuff for the other person. I give my friends presents, I compliment them, why? Because they are human, and as a result to these actions, chemicals in their body release that make them feel good? If a women were to dress sexy for me or groom herself in a specific way that I like, a type of haircut or anything really, it's exactly like a gift. It cause chemical reactions in guys, makes them feel good, horny etc. It's a gift, and if my hypothetical girlfriend were to put on makeup for a night out, I would view it as such. But, it should be reasonable, I don't give my friends gifts every day. But then again, dressing sexy might not be that hard, putting on makeup probably is pretty hard and time consuming, which is why a girl shouldn't feel compelled to wear makeup around their guy all the time. And guys should find their girls attractive without it, even more so at times because it's the real them, and them being comfortable around the guy, should also count as something attractive. But, it can ALSO be for the girl herself or if she doesn't have a boyfriend it could be for themselves only.

[username97]

What a bunch of bull. Did some guy say your hat looked ugly or something?
The way you start this article is very egotistically. You essentially say that any men who disagree with you are not men. While you're at it why don't you just say that any male who doesn't want to pay for your meals is a virgin. Its stupid egotistical way of looking at the world where you think degrading means you are correct.
"be a girl with a mind, a women with attitude and a lady with class.
Talk about children and adults, you aren't a woman you are a girl. No male wants a woman with attitude. This is equivalant to the "if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" crap that really goes to show you have no class nor mind but only attitude.

Thirdly, yes women look pretty for men. Maybe not me specifically but for men. What exactly do you think fashion trends are? If men weren't trying to attract a woman they would look like shit. I know this to be true because i've seen it from my mates who have given up.
Really ask yourself, for what purpose are you getting tans and putting on make up for? For confidence? What good is confidence for anything but attracting people. To feel good? Thats not good, it just means you are a slave to peer pressure, all you're doing is trying to fit in. To look attractive? Yes.
Successful people are not successful because they groom themselves, they groom themselves because they are successful.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

Well.. let's consider it from this angle.

Regardless of how much you say you do it for yourself, that just wouldn't make sense. If you truly didn't care about what other people think of your appearance, you'd end up looking all fat, greasy, unkept etc.

Okay, so what are you gonna tell me now? I usually hear that girls doll themselves up to impress other girls. While that's all well and good, I happen to notice that girls compliment each other based off how attractive they perceive they will be to guys.

So, all in all, yeah.. deny deny deny. It's still true.

[ClearlyCanadian]

Did you see the second pic? I think she's 100% woman but has somehow never been a girl or a lady.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@FýrdracaDócincel You make it seem if someone works out and eats healthy is never doing it for themself.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@MysteriousDarkness That's a matter of health, which is completely different.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@FýrdracaDócincel it can be seen physically

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@MysteriousDarkness You can be fat without having your health be seriously impacted.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@FýrdracaDócincel you are not getting the point of what I said. It seems like you would think if someone works out they are not doing it for themself

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@MysteriousDarkness If the person in question is a girl, then yes. I can make an exception for guys because you can make a case for him training to fight.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@FýrdracaDócincel What about female athletes? You make it seem like how a woman looks is never for herself. I call bullshit on it.

[FýrdracaDócincel]

@MysteriousDarkness The end goal of being an athlete is to please others.

[Kkaos]

A complete load of made up bullshit. Guys know it, girls know it, we all know what you're saying is crap and anyone who doesn't is in denial. You only need to see the number of girls on here asking if guys like this or guys like that. Everyone likes validation to some degree, especially from the opposite sex. Tons of guys hit the gym to get a body that girls are attracted to just like many girls will get certain things that guys are attracted to. You see girls who want big boobs or big butts, you think they just randomly wanted that or you think girls admire other girls with those things? Absolute bullshit, it's because guys like it and that's what sets the trend. Same applies to makeup, hair whatever. The only girls who don't give a shit about what other people think of their appearance are the radical feminist types.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@Kkaos You make it seem like with women the clothes they wear, the way their hair and makeup are done is always 100% for others.

[Kkaos]

@MysteriousDarkness I never said it was 100%. Don't put words in my mouth.

[JohnDoe3000]

Sorry, but I have to disagree. SUBCONSCIOUSLY both men and women ultimately do most of what they do to attract or keep a mate. This is on the same level as women by and large consciously thinking they don't care that much about a man's looks when all psychological research says they subconsciously do care a lot (it can be seen in their actions).

[LittleSally]

Oh, I definitely agree with you to some extent, but the thing about this is: the logic dictates than then a girl/woman is looking for a dude who has the same aesthetic values as she does/has (because the right guy will find everything (or the majority of it) appealing by default) - and then telling other women how to dress or what to do still doesn't make sense...

[LittleSally]

I think we can all agree that by now we've learned you can't try to change a person to suite you... you find the person that already suites you...

[Elarra]

It kills me how many people on here really think that women only dress a certain way to impress men. I mean, of course SOMETIMES we do if we're trying to attract someone. But I personally don't get dressed up to attract guys. I get dressed up because it makes me feel good. I remember when I used to wear sweats and hoodies all day every day anywhere I went, even to restaurants. But when I stopped and wore jeans and did my hair and wore a nice shirt, I felt a lot better. But I didn't do it for men.

Some men are so damn conceited. I bet if you claimed the only reason men work out and bulk is for women, not themselves, because it can't possibly be for any other reason. Get over yourself haha, your sex is not as important as you think it is.

[R_Cakes91]

Glad someone finally said it. There are some extremely conceited boys on this website who are angry that women don't stay in the kitchen anymore.
Most of the time when I dress to look nice its for myself. I feel liberated from the Amish-like upbringing I had and I feel my best when I'm looking good. women who are confident and love themselves do these things for themselves, not men. So get over it, boys.

[Regular1]

This is all completely untrue. Women groom themselves almost always to attract men. Sometimes, they groom themselves because they are herd creatures and if all the other girls are doing something, well they figure they better do it too. Such as tattoos and multiple piercings and weird colored hair dyes. But mostly it's to attract men. And women will do whatever they think they have to to attract whichever man they have set their sights on. If they have a hairy bush and the guy says shave that bush but leave a landing strip, the next day she will have a hairless bush with a landing strip. Women are pretty simple to understand. Just imagine you're dealing with a spoiled, sometimes angry four-year-old and act accordingly. Use one when you need to drain a lizard, but never marry, never cohabitate, and never put a bun in her oven.

[Transigence]

But, but, but they do it for THEMSELVES, or to COMPETE WITH EACH OTHER (but without ever going into 'over what?').

[popsickle]

A lot of what men and women do are to attract other mates. There is also a component of self-confidence to succeed in career, non-romantic relationships, hobbies, etc as well. All of the above contribute to womens' grooming. I think the lesson here is to tell the large amount of self conscious men and women that their confidence should be the priority rather than feeling obligated to please others because the latter lifestyle can be emotionally taxing.

[Transigence]

Now that I've spent the whole question disagreeing with the poster and everyone who agrees with her, I think I'll concede one point here.

Looking good DOES instill confidence, whether or not confidence is why you chose to work on your appearance.

So there are some tricks to help "fake it." This is one. Dress yourself up nicely -- you WILL feel better. Also, practice being hyper-expressive with your face. Smile some even when you're not as happy, because your facial muscles feed back into your feelings just as your feelings feed into your facial muscles.

[popsickle]

@Transigence What's also nice about looking good is most of it is actually quite healthy for you and important for your life. Working out, eating right, keeping clean, avoiding drugs, pursuing a career, self expression through fashion, making friends and feeling like you belong, and like you said... smiling more. I think people are put under a lot of pressure these days and insulted/bullied left and right. That makes it harder to accept that looking good is a healthy quest.

[lacie92]

I dress / groom for myself- if I thought it had a huge effect maybe Id up my game for men but they dont really care. Eyeliner, brows, hair... they dont care, If I'm going out I get dressed, maybe hair and makeup, if Im going to an event I glam it up. If Im home sometimes Ill spend hours primping just to shower and go to bed. When I met my husband I had a chelsea (mostly shaved head) a hugely unflattering bullring in my nose and wore a batman shirt & mens cargo shorts. Now I have my natural blond hair past my shoulders and dress like a woman. men throw themselves at you whether you look good or not, all the extras I feel are truly for the individual.

[Chief16]

Any woman who think that way is delusional. Any amount of grooming done is to form an impression on our surroundings, is what social psychology says. And it applies to both men and women. Grooming isn't some vanity act that people do to please themselves. Its an adjustment to fit in, gain perspective and possibly grow. Its natural, to want to be attractive.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I had a girlfriend who said I only do this for myself... then she fucked a friend of mine i believe. In anycase it's natural to want to look pretty but many girls don't draw a line... they just cross it whenever they please.
It's like dealing with a child. Insecurity is unattractive. Always has been.

[oddwaffle]

I don't believe this. I know some girls look like a complete nerd with glasses and track pants at home but will turn into Venus incarnate once they go out.

Maybe it's not for the men alone but it is 100% for others to look at. They might not do it consciously. It might be a built-in feature like a guy would automatically home in on a sexy woman.

[Elarra]

Not for me. I dress up when I go out because it makes me feel better. I don't give a shit what someone else thinks lol. But I have no need to dress up at home while watching Netflix and cooking hahaha

[oddwaffle]

@Elarra

That's a build-in feature. You have to dress up to feel good about yourself. You do dress up for other people to look and you don't dress up when nobody is around. You do care about what other people think of you.

Imagine that you had a really odd sense of fashion. You would dress like Superman with a blue pyjamas from the 70s and a pair of red panties on the outside. You feel good about it. Would you still wear that when some one point out that you look really odd.

[Elarra]

Wrong. I actually don't like attention. I'm very introverted and shy and do things alone. I prefer people leaving me alone and not staring at me as it annoys the shit out of my on a level that's too hard to explain on G@G. But I'm not going to dress down to prevent someone looking at me. I dress for me, boo. Please don't try to convince yourself otherwise as you don't me at all so you can't say that I dress to impress other people.

[cafepuro504702]

@Elarra Not sure if i should take your comment seriously? The way most guys would reply to your comment is...

If you are dressing up for yourself.. you WOULD dress up to sit around the house and watch netflix. Its rather questionable to ONLY dress up when out.. But when you are COMPLETELY alone.. you dont dress up for YOURSELF? That kinda makes no sense. But its whatever.. Only my 395 pesos

[Elarra]

@cafepuro504702 Good thing I don't care if you take it seriously lol. Women dress up and sit around at home all the time. My college roommates always did it. I have no problem going out in public wearing a hoodie and sweats and I also don't mind doing my hair and make up even if I have no where to go for the day just to make me feel better. It's really not that hard to understand.

[cafepuro504702]

@Elarra you said You don't... why not?

[10dsw]

Oh god who cares...

Why do people put effort into writing these meaningless rants lol. Yes, we get it... you're a strong independent woman who grooms for yourself and not others bla bla bla.

God women who behave like this are so unsexy...

[ShadowUnicorneTears]

Same with most mytakes from dudes on women.

[10dsw]

@ShadowUnicorneTears That's why in my second sentence I put "people"

[ShadowUnicorneTears]

True. Just saying based on half of the male posts I would avoid a good chunk of these guys in real lie.

[10dsw]

@ShadowUnicorneTears If I were you I'd avoid all of them. Much the way I avoid all women with snap chat filter selfies, 500+ fb friends, etc :)

[ShadowUnicorneTears]

To be fair I avoid those too lol

[Soulife]

Awesome that women's grooming is for themselves... But shouldn't it always be for oneself no matter what one's gender is? Sometimes it just seems as if when guys keep themselves tidy it's because they have to impress a girl or not have a bad smell to turn a girl off. I mean sure, you should show hygiene respect towards others but remember, love yourself more than you love anyone else. It's not selfish, it's necessary. Anyway, girl or guy, do it for yourself, but consider others too. Good take, I just find it a tad absurd that you just say "women's grooming" instead of "human grooming"... Who says I or any other guy keeps himself tidy just for girls? I do it mainly for myself especially now that I'm convinced that romantic love and relationships of that sort are a load of B. S... And plus, my soul feels freaking amazing after a shower, shaving and keeping myself excercised (more long term grooming if I may say)! End of rant :)

[Soulife]

Oh and it seems as if you're a feminist. Nice. I am too but I'm interested in what your definition of feminism is. Here's mine, came up with it in a lucid dream:
Feminism is the belief that gender is redundant when it comes to being free.

[AlwaysBelieving]

Yup. This is part of the reason why I don't express myself in what I like a gal to wear in regards to anything (makeup, tattoos, clothes, etc) unless asked a very specific question. I say this because say a gal that has a crush on me and asks me on a date. I accept and we go on said date and she asks me these questions. Then on date 2 she suddenly does what I said my preferences are. This will NOT work as a relationship in my opinion since the gal (in this case) is catering to my preferences and I would be able to sense that she is fake. She won't like it in the long run since she isn't being her authentic self.

[GiddisE]

I see where you're going with this, and of course tattoos and dress sense is a dramatic one to change, but say how a woman is shaved. Generally I have no preference to my pubes, but as my boyfriend prefers bare I go for it. As I have no preference, does changing it to 'impress' him make me fake? Not really. I agree, however, that faking preferences makes a relationship more or less doomed

[AlwaysBelieving]

@GiddisE Great point. If a gal has no preferences, I'll state mine (using your example).

[FatherJack]

I've known for decades girls / women dress for each other , NEVER for men , as they already get more then enough male attention as it is , it also seems to me that male attention is mostly unwelcome to women , I'm too busy working / parenting , so I never pay any attention to women anyway , eyes strictly in the direction of travel !!

[Viperkiss]

Science disagrees.
Human psychology is very interesting to learn about. You should look into it.

So you basically are saying that men have no right to comment on what women do but it's ok for you to qualify manhood by what men do. Hmm.