For those looking for the answer to "What are the signs he likes me?"...

[lilac21]

I wouldn't have thought that my first MyTake on this website would be about my first heartbreak that I have had in a while. Some people say that heartbreaks and disappointments actually inspire and lead us to write, make art, dance, compose music, etc., thus it is actually not that bad. Our mistakes and failures teach us lessons, make us more mature and intelligent emotionally, and lead us to sharing our experiences with others in the name of helping people.

You see, every single day we come across questions such as “What are the signs he likes me?” or “How do I know if he is attracted?”. In fact, I am sad to confess that I was one of those people who asked these questions on this site and got a pool of opinions, for which I am also grateful. Although I always knew and appreciated the power of body language, studied it quite seriously and had a deep insight into it, today I, most certainly, realized that you should never ever rely on it when trying to figure out if someone likes you or not. Why? Because you will get disappointed in the end.

Personally speaking, I thought that a guy was showing clear signs of interest. Those included staring at me from afar for a prolonged period of time and not looking away when I have caught him, checking out my body in public, walking past me and and then turning back around to look at me several times in a row, standing in such a way that his feet are pointing at me and so on and so forth… I even noticed his friends staring at me lately as well. However he would not initiate anything, not even on social media. This made me wonder about his intentions because, usually, when guys are attracted to me (or to other girls, in general) they, at the very least, try to reach out through social media. Most people would think that he was too shy to initiate anything. But that is not the case. In reality, he is quite the opposite: confident, outgoing, popular and has girls chasing him. Long story short, today I found out through an acquaintance that he is quite close with his ex and wanted to get back with her, while also looking for a casual hookup and chasing a different girl for that. It broke my heart because I thought, blinded foolishly by those “signs”, that he was genuinely interested in something special, because I did feel something special going on, like chemistry, if you will. Little did I know. Confused feelings with the truth. And I feel like such a broken-hearted fool right now. Can guys really be that cruel?

What did I take out of this? That you should never trust the body language and be prejudiced when judging a guy’s intentions. All that eye contact, feet pointing, proximity, smiling and other nonverbal shit is pure fallacy. When a guy likes you, he will make it (more or less) clear and obvious to you through verbal signs i.e. HE WILL TELL YOU. Even a shy guy will eventually muster up the courage and approach you. All you have to do, according to guys, is give subtle signs to him that you will not reject him, although I do not personally believe in this either, because guys do not read into signs as much as girls do.

Please do not waste your time and energy on a guy who does not even deserve it. Stay loyal and true to yourself, your beliefs and values because you are beautiful and deserve a real man who will treat you like a princess.

I am not a relationship expert, nor have I got much experience with guys, but the only thing I know is that we should love ourselves and not let anyone waste our time. I do not regret what has happened to me, because it taught me a lot and made me much stronger. But if you are in the same situation, experiencing the same thing as me, then please do not repeat my mistake.

There is no rainbow without a little rain. Have a lovely day!

P.S. Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is my 4th language.

[MusicMayhem]

Ok, gotta correct you on something here. Even confident guys get nervous/approach anxiety etc. If he really likes you, he won't want to stuff up; he'll want to be perfect so he overthinks how he'll go about it and never acts.

Another possible scenario is because he really likes you, he only wants to show interest when he wants a relationship. You said he wants a casual hookup. So if he only sees you as a potential girlfriend and not a hookup he won't pursue you... not yet.

What you wrote comes across as you being a bit angry and annoyed that he didn't approach you. Just know that there are many factors at play here and it could just be bad timing. There's plenty of other guys out there so go get them and maybe later you will get your guy.

[lilac21]

Thank you for your opinion! and you are right, I might have been a bit angry but im getting over it. The thing is with all his actions he comes across as a player. I don't date players. Once I moved on, it's done. And yeah, hoping to meet better guys in the future

[MusicMayhem]

Well just be careful you don't give off the vibe that you hate players cause guys read that as this girl is damaged from being used and is bitter and angry at ALL guys because she can't rationalise the fact that there are some guys that wan't to date and find a girlfriend. That's obviously a BIG, BIG turn off. Assumptions are a great way to send a guy packing cause it sounds like you have a negative attitude if you show that.

[lilac21]

I'll keep that in mind, thank you! :)

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

People who say a guy or gal they look is always looking at them don't make sense to me. I'm sorry but unless you talk they probably don't like you back. Even if your friends see it too it's mostly because they want that person to like you too. When you like someone it's easy to fall down the cherry picking rabbithole of seeing what you want to see... I mean we all look down that rabbithole but people need to not get their hopes up based on that.

[Browneye57]

This started out really great, absolutely, 'till you got here:
"Please do not waste your time and energy on a guy who does not even deserve it. Stay loyal and true to yourself, your beliefs and values because you are beautiful and deserve a real man who will treat you like a princess. "
This is just so much bullshit you cannot even fathom it.
First of all you DESERVE NOTHING. You get what you EARN, what you WORK for. You are ENTITLED to NOTHING.
Second, you're NOT a princess and no guy should treat you like one. What happened to the feminist cry for equality'?
And just because you think you're beautiful has nothing to do with what you deserve, what you're entitled to, or what you'll get. IT's simply your state, your attraction. It has NOTHING to do with what a relationship will be.

And finally, you spout off a whole bunch of relationship advice and then add in the end that you're no expert. Geez. How 'bout just state what you know to be true based on YOUR experience? Why do you discount yourself?
The only thing true here is to date enough so that you have at least SOME experience to be able to discern whether they actually do warrant your time and emotion, are a potential match.

[lilac21]

Okay, I meant it as an encouragement to those who have been played/cheated on, because some people lose hope and motivation to keep going. But you're right, you indeed earn what you work for. Although I respect your opinion, I do not agree with the second part of your reply. No, I'm not an expert (should've stated it at the start) but you do not need to be an expert to just share your experience with others and tell them what you've learned. At the very beginning, I mentioned that it was the first heartbreak in a while and you know why? Because I don't like making mistakes. I prefer to learn from other people's mistakes because it saves my time, nerves and reputation. I know what I want in life and what kind of people I should surround myself with. But sometimes people do make mistakes because no one is perfect. And this is why I'm sharing my experience so that someone who's in the same/similar situation can benefit from the advice. I hope I made my point clear. Have a nice day/night.

[Vyxzuw]

The problem is that while body language can tell you whether a guy finds you attractive, it can't tell you what his intentions are.

He may only be interested in sex.
Or he may not want a relationship with you for some reason.
Including, him possibly already being in one.
These reasons may be based on fact, or assumptions.
They may think that you won't be interested, or that they wouldn't fit in with your friends or lifestyle.

It's not true that every guy will try to talk to a girl if they like them.
However, every guy that is interested will TRY.

It is important to let guys know that you are receptive to getting to know them.
But also use that opportunity to get to know what their intentions are.

Just because he 'likes you' doesn't mean he cares for you.

And be careful about assuming that guys that are interested will approach.
It's true, but also guys that don't care and just want sex will also approach, because your rejection doesn't matter to them.
And some of them will even put on a front of being respectful (or they are respectful, but will leave if it's not going anywhere.)

[Anonymous]

I feel this so much right now. Had so many signs from this funny, interesting, good-looking guy. Stares a lot. He's reserved and doesn't talk to many women, but he went out of his way to talk to me. Made me smile and laugh. Confided in me. Did favors for me, sometimes things I didn't even ask for. I was so sure he was into me.
So I told him straight out, "I'm interested. Are you?"
He said, "I'm not attracted to you, and I'm not looking for a relationship right now." Then proceeded to ask me why I was interested in him.
Such a mind fuck.

[lilac21]

I'm sorry to hear that. Actually, maybe it's for the better? Maybe he's scared to reveal his feelings for you? Whatever it is, at least you know the truth and an move on ❤️

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, trying to focus on my studies right now.

[IntelligentGeek]

Can i ask u something..
U know the same is the case with me but there is a difference between this guy n ur guy..
This guy gave me every sign that he likes me.. but he didn't approach me
I doubted it..
So i asked my friend about him coz they both r in the same school n the 1 is our mutual friend. .
She told me that he doesn't talk to girls
N he has never liked any gal lately but he had a.. i think... just one crush on a girl who was 1 year older than him
Then it was me he liked...
He never tried to talk to me but many times we made eye contact n smiled with an open body language

Now tell me if he really liked me or he was just playing.. tell me pls

[lilac21]

If you like him then approach him. Get to know him. Then you'll know if he's really playing you or not. Because you have your friend who told you that he said that he liked you, if he confessed that it means that he's really really shy with girls. The guy that I'm talking about is different, we don't have mutual friends but I'm sure that if he liked me he would have approached since he is not shy. Your guy seems to be shy and this is what doesn't make me think that he's playing at least at this stage. The only way you could really find out would be to ask him. You'll feel it in your gut if he is genuine or not.

[IntelligentGeek]

Yea i always feel like he likes me just way too much.. its more like love.. well i think i must approach him woth my message that i like him evenore than he does

[IntelligentGeek]

Even more*

[Heartcrusher]

This is so true. People shouldn't focus on movement to determine if someone is interested and totally meant for themselves. I can speak from the other prospective, guys and even a girl thought that I like them because the way I starred at the, leaned toward them, flipped my hair, or what ever you could think of. But I did not like any of those people. you have to also pay attention to what they say and do also when interacting. If you want to be sure, ask your true friends or his friends first.

[lilac21]

Thank you for the support ❤️

[it2ly]

Eyes.. not reallt body language Yes!
whenever where insecure we sit cross legs or with legs away from the other person.. could also mean hate..

when where into it we face the person with feet the dominant foot facing them the other foot facing where ever and we show full listening.. we do this to show where not a jerk and that its natural.. when we see someone we like are we gonna be slouchy and facing the other way nope?
exactly wel give them full attention.. if really nervous feet facing away, head facing away, torso facing away

[MNM230]

This guy that I wanted to build a friendship with first just transferred to my P. E class. I thought he was kind of cute, and we shared another class before then. I talked to him a bit there, but never got to go for a long conversation. We have fifteen minutes to have a lengthy conversation, and we even sit next to each other. When he looks at me, I can see how his eyes kind of dilate. I want to get the courage to talk to him, since he hasn't really said anything. I want to take the initiative, but I get too tight and nervous. If our personalities blend well, I would then want to push a bit further. What's troubling me in the friendship part. I changed my goal to "becoming friends" but the attraction is still taking over... I'm not sure if he's just shy of not interested, since he didn't start a conversation even though I catch him staring at me.

[Ppiero]

My two cents. A normal, non-psychopathic guy will shy away from an eye-to-eye gaze unless he REALLY is interested. Being interested is not the same as being ready for a long-term relationship. It just means that he finds you hot and would like to have sex with you. You cannot deduce anything about a guy's casual behaviour, because (much as it works for women) guys don't reveal their true selves until they trust you. Contrary to public opinion, guys don't want to hurt you; most of the time, they want to have sex, and I cannot blame them (I'm a guy myself, and sex is just fantastic). Trust and love are built over a number of years: expecting a guy to be fully committed to you after the first sexual intercourse is just unrealistic.

[10dsw]

"Please do not waste your time and energy on a guy who does not even deserve it. Stay loyal and true to yourself, your beliefs and values because you are beautiful and deserve a real man who will treat you like a princess."

Or just stop being a special snowflake, grow up and take rejection on the chin. There are lots of other men out there.

[Gavyn]

Yep, body language is bullshit. I'm sorry this happened to you :(. I have no knowledge of body language and for the most part I socialize fine, so I can tell you that you don't need to know it to know if we like you. A good guy will come up and tell you if he likes you.

[Anonymous]

Was so in love with a girl. All signs point to yes. Other people tell me she clearly likes me. We talk a lot. She agrees to hang out. She gives me her number. We almost hook up, but don't because she's too drunk.
I offer to take her horseback riding. She responds with fuck off, you don't get the hint I don't like you.
? All she had to say was 'not interested'.

Now no matter what the signs I don't bother. I don't want to be made a fool again.
Thanks for fucking me up.

[lilac21]

I'm sorry that has happened to you. I think the girl you are referring to was an actual player. I know she hurt your feelings and it must have been tough after the rejection (that is a jerk move btw). But I don't think you should give up on your love life because of that. You don't have to confess anything to her, if you feel like there could be something between you then just straight up ask her to be sure. But just don't give up on all the girls, I'm sure you'll meet someone amazing one day.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh dear that's just the last one.
My wife of over 10 years left for a richer guy. Found out my marriage was over through my 3 year old daughter who overheard a conversation between my wife and her friend. Got home from work and she tells me "mommy says she dosen't love you anymore."
That one I get to carry for the rest of my life.

Years of dating. Game after game and I always the fool. The numbers you get that aren't answered. The ghosting. The entitlement. The keep chasing me forever.

Look, if you aren't interested just fucking say so. Stop waisting my time and stomping my heart. I'm not your ego stroker.

So ya after the last round of selfish bullshit I've had enough. I will raise my daughter alone and will be content in the fact that women just don't want or know how to treat a great guy. I was raised to desire something that no longer seems to exist.,

I'm done.

[Annewill82]

Damn, that's messed up🙁

[anametouse]

I think its a myth that guys can't read signs as well as girls, I think body language shows interest, not intentions. The communication is where you figure out the intentions. I can relate to this. I've had situations where I read a girl's body language thoroughly and thought she was into me. Ended up getting rejected.

[lilac21]

But you just contradicted yourself. You said that guys do read into signs, and you did but ended up getting rejected. That's the whole point of this take: that you shouldn't trust body language when figuring out if he/she is into you. It can be misleading

[anametouse]

I know it sounds contradictory, I'd have to describe it to explain what I mean

[pretty-kitty]

Your grammar is better than most people who's first language is English.

[lilac21]

thank you ❤️

[luvstoned4him]

Sadly, I have been in this position 2 times. Most of us have and so I feel for you. Right now, I am trying to tread carefully in romance and choose the right person and those tips are bogus, totally agree.

[HazzaStyles]

All wrong. Body language tells a lot and I am a proof of it. I literally eye fucked my current girlfriend to the point that she would blush when she saw me. I couldn't initiate because she's so gorgeous :) but she did and we got together. And yeah I showed her all the signs through my body language.

True some guys are assholes but its body language which tells whether he wants a hook up or whatever

[HazzaStyles]

And yeah I did everything WITH. MY EYES.

Get over yourself

[lilac21]

Maybe you're the 1% out of the 100. My personal experience was different and I don't think I would ever judge a person's interest based on eye contact or other body language signs. Wishing you happiness with your girlfriend.

[HazzaStyles]

Girl body language is what tells a person what the intentions are. Whether its purely sex or more

[John_Doesnt]

A lot of men have allergies, so some girls need to learn that licking your lips, touching your eyes and touching your face are not signs he likes you. He's just got dry mouth and itchy eyes.

[booxfox666]

and girls

[Maxine_Payne]

@John_Doesnt your response made me laugh so hard 😂

[TheUsername27]

A guy looking at you doesn't necessarily he fancies you in a romantic way... it can very easily be in a ''yeah i'd hit that, kind of bored atm'''. A guy who is interested in you genuinely will want to get to know you. Mind you if a guy does this and then wants to shag the same day... chances are he is just trying to hook up and is using 'game'.

[Monalisa77]

Right so you say body language doesn't mean anything and i get it, but what about things they say? What if they repeat things or say stupid things that don't even make sense? Is this classed as body language and reading too much into it?

[mary_mimi]

guys are selfish and won't admit they got lazy !
you know why feminism is the thing lately?
women are becoming "the men" they always wanted to meet
men won't take actions anymore and only the one really interested will make a move or will stand waiting selfishly for you to make all the moves

[None18am]

Yeah, you're right. I'm a very shy guy who trouble approaching the girl I liked, but when push came to shove I told her how I felt.