Of course men who are typically wired to assume the role of providers and protectors are not going to be attracted to an independent woman who does *not* need these things from them.
You can't have a power dynamic when both sides fulfill the same role.
I agree. I think the point is, though, that men resent that women need them for those things women traditionally rely on men for. They say on the one hand what you're saying (and I'm for gender roles so no judgement here) and on the other hand accuse women who agree with gender roles of using them for money and protection and say we're incapable of feeling love. As a woman, I don't know what you want from me. How can I not be a "bitch" in your eyes. On the one hand, you hate us. In the other, you still hate us. So what is a woman to do?
wow some of those guy answers, honestly just speaking statically it's a better shift most places need a decrease in population, and just inherently it's pretty great for us to be approaching a point where gender divide is far less important in comparison to the work you are doing
a woman who doesn't let others use her or take advantage of her is cool i like that, a woman who makes 3 times my salary and is much richer and has much more things and has the power to control me is not attractive because she will usually use that power, plenty of men married women who happened to be wealthy and "independent" and they regretted it cause such women have an attitude and ego so shitty they are not fit to be wives.
This mytake is somewhat misleading. Yes women are becoming more educated, but they tend to study in fields with lower earning potential. Men are more into economics, technology, and mathmatics than women. These fields have higher earning potentials. Women will become more independent, but they will never truly become "dominant" in the world. There's not many communities in the world where women are dominant. They will hold more important roles, but that's the extent.
I'm in the young generation, I want marriage, I want a partner that we can build a life together, not one person doing more or less than the other. In short, I want a woman that is strong but also lets me help her as she helps me as well. You need two incomes to make it more so now a days than you needed in generations before.
It is a culture shock for those men, that's why they struggle finding where they fit into the relationship. Have some patients with them and they'll understand.
I'd be fine being a stay at home dad :) I'd take care of the kids, cook, and do yard work. I don't see a power dynamic in relationships at all actually, I see me doing something that would need to be done. People see a power dynamic when they are looking to find one. Earthly wealth and achievements mean nothing in the eyes of God.
Maybe that's why no one wants to date Me, I'm strong, independent and don't need help with maintenance. I mean I'm a woman working in commercial drywall, I'm not afraid of hard work and getting dirty.
@burpzzzzz depends on the problem to be honest, I never really have computer problems though and usually I'll just bug my sister if I don't understand.
@RealManAdvice first off I'm not just going to have sex with someone and for that to happen I need to be dating them first. Secondly maybe it's because I'm the creature from the blacklagoon.
That's why you don't have any dates. Just have sex , then worry about the relationship after... Look , men can put up with a lot of shit if the sex is good. If the sex is bad, regardless of how good you get along, he's gone.. or he's cheating. Great sex my girl and a bit of sanity, that's the glue that holds a relationship together. Everything else can be worked out. Glad you put your workout clothes on when you get home, that's important for a woman, always keep that up. But don't be stingy on the sex.. and practice makes perfect ;)
@RealManAdvice I am not being stingy on anything, the last guy I was kind to and was glad to do what he wanted turned out to be using me and I refuse to be used again I am the one who put up with his shit.
You think guys don't get used. I mean do you hate sex? Everything doesn't have to revolve around a relationship. Look, the dream guy your looking for , memo: DOES NOT EXIST, you'll figure that our later in your 30's, but if you figured it out now you'd have more fun and set yourself up to actually meeting the right guy. Witholding sex because some douchebag was leading you on is not the way to go. You are only hurting yourself. I got burned many times with women. Had money they are around, hit a rough patch , they are gone.. I'm not shutting women out, though or refusing to have sex with them.
@RealManAdvice first off I wanted to sleep with this guy because I thought he was interested in a relationship and I'm aware both genders get used. If I'm interested in finding a relationship then that's what I want and here's a fun fact I was sexually assaulted so that kind of changed things for me. You are entitled to your views and I am entitled to mine. I am not going to get into a banter with you about it. As of right now anyways I don't want a relationship and I don't want anyone touching me.
So now the truth comes out. So it's not that your strong and independent but rather that you had a bad experience with a man and are not open to being with a man. From the sound of it, your not open to being with anyone. Men smell that a mile away and stay away from you. So that's why no one wants to date you. It has nothing to do with being strong and independent as you mention. You sound bitter about this sexual assault thing. Now not sure what the scope of that assault was since that is a different topic with women making false accusations against men because a strong and independent woman friend of hers classified some incident as a sexual assault. The feminists are going off the rails making accusations against men sexually assaulting them these days. Not saying it doesn't happen but many of the accusations of late that you see in the media are ridiculous. It's just pushing men further away from the crazies. If you were legitimately assaulted then I hope your getting therapy.
@RealManAdvice I would never make a false accusation, I was and it was back in July. Prior to that I was fine and I was looking for a relationship. You are right, As of right now I am not open to it but before I was. Also yes I am in therapy I have been for over two months now. So to say no one wanted to date me because that I am closed off is a bit of a stretch since its been 3 months. But again I am not looking to banter about this, honestly.
3 months is nothing , not a long time. So it's not a stretch to say your not open. It will take you a while to get better, but you have to get better, or else you don't have a chance of getting into a relationship. I know women that 30 years later are bringing up some sexual assault by a family member or boyfriend and they cannot connect and have a relationship. They are alone and chase away any good men that come their way.
@RealManAdvice I am working on getting better, it takes time. Everyone bounces back from things differently. Yes I will admit I am closed off right now, but that doesn't account for the period before I was assaulted. Either way I right now I don't care because I need to work on myself right now.
Well I do wish you luck and a speedy recovery. Your douchebag radar will be working 100% once you get better so you should be able to spot and repel any future morons. Listen I know there are plenty of douchebag men out there. I live right in the city in the finance district and see them every day. Strong and independent preaching type women , somehow wind up going with these douchebages and believing their BS.
Live with compassion and respect. Respect yourself first then respect others and neither let yourself be disrespected nor disrespect anyone else. Everything else is irrelevant (imo).
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Well it’s certainly not going to work out well, I already read that male birth rates are declining due to global warming so I guess there are going to be a lot of lesbianism in the near future so with that and how men are not needed for anything anymore except for sperm donors then it’s going to be a bleak future for everyone
As long as she loves me and doesn't hold some of my failings or shortcomings over my head, I wouldn't care if she was successful, strong, assertive, or anything of things. Assertiveness in women is a turn on to me, so there is always that.
Hm, I think it's because in a relationship, both partners need a sense of desire for each other. Strong women like that make awesome friends in my opinion. Very easy to approach as well.
I think that the majority time, subconscious or not, guys are extremely afraid of a strong woman because of media and how they were raised. There are so many reasons why they could be/are. Not all guys are like that though.
Hey princess, no man is afraid of a strong woman, they are just afraid of the one's that say they are strong and independent. These women are put in the mental crazies category of women. I know this from experience. I warn all men to stay away from any woman who classifies herself as strong and independent, you don't want to go there!
I don't really get the point of this. But please, do tell me more about how I -- as a completely different person -- think and feel because you're apparently all-knowing.
There's also a lot of nuance you're missing that addresses if any of that is actually beneficial. We already do know some things about the kinds of things people value and choose to do with themselves, their motivations. I feel that you're just missing a bunch of stuff.
It's about being adaptable instead of expecting things to be the way they used to be, because they really aren't. People still want love and companionship and will keep seeking it, even without the old fashioned gender roles.
I do TEMPORARILY because they are usually more forward sexually and take the guesswork out of things. However as time goes on and they try their hardest to emasculate me I get sick of them REAL quick.
Agreed entirely ma’am, that was my point. Anybody, man or woman, who goes around peacocking about being strong and independent is anything but. Hope all is well with you!
i would love a women like that pfft i dont want power i want companionship and love and i would actually prefer a woman like that just me and her till the end
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
74Opinion
If you don't need me, what should I need you for?
Of course men who are typically wired to assume the role of providers and protectors are not going to be attracted to an independent woman who does *not* need these things from them.
You can't have a power dynamic when both sides fulfill the same role.
I agree. I think the point is, though, that men resent that women need them for those things women traditionally rely on men for. They say on the one hand what you're saying (and I'm for gender roles so no judgement here) and on the other hand accuse women who agree with gender roles of using them for money and protection and say we're incapable of feeling love. As a woman, I don't know what you want from me. How can I not be a "bitch" in your eyes. On the one hand, you hate us. In the other, you still hate us. So what is a woman to do?
@Bell44444
OMG! Sex! Sex! then maybe a pizza after , or breakfast and a little conversation the next day. That's it ! That's all we need. Simple!
wow some of those guy answers, honestly just speaking statically it's a better shift most places need a decrease in population, and just inherently it's pretty great for us to be approaching a point where gender divide is far less important in comparison to the work you are doing
a woman who doesn't let others use her or take advantage of her is cool i like that, a woman who makes 3 times my salary and is much richer and has much more things and has the power to control me is not attractive because she will usually use that power, plenty of men married women who happened to be wealthy and "independent" and they regretted it cause such women have an attitude and ego so shitty they are not fit to be wives.
This mytake is somewhat misleading. Yes women are becoming more educated, but they tend to study in fields with lower earning potential. Men are more into economics, technology, and mathmatics than women. These fields have higher earning potentials. Women will become more independent, but they will never truly become "dominant" in the world. There's not many communities in the world where women are dominant. They will hold more important roles, but that's the extent.
I'm in the young generation, I want marriage, I want a partner that we can build a life together, not one person doing more or less than the other. In short, I want a woman that is strong but also lets me help her as she helps me as well. You need two incomes to make it more so now a days than you needed in generations before.
It is a culture shock for those men, that's why they struggle finding where they fit into the relationship. Have some patients with them and they'll understand.
I'd be fine being a stay at home dad :) I'd take care of the kids, cook, and do yard work. I don't see a power dynamic in relationships at all actually, I see me doing something that would need to be done. People see a power dynamic when they are looking to find one. Earthly wealth and achievements mean nothing in the eyes of God.
There is a big difference in a strong independent woman, and in being a arrogant cunt.
I would love a strong women. First girl I ever really liked grew up on a farm. Could have snapped me or anyone else in half in a second.
I can't see myself with a passive person. I have slight autism and am just not the most dominant person. I would like someone who makes up for that.
Maybe that's why no one wants to date Me, I'm strong, independent and don't need help with maintenance. I mean I'm a woman working in commercial drywall, I'm not afraid of hard work and getting dirty.
Yeah but you can change when you have a partner when you get home.
@burpzzzzz yes I change into workout clothes and the workout lol
I didn't mean clothes I mean your behavior/attitude.
@burpzzzzz oh I'm weird and sarcastic no matter where I am... regardless I'm still stubborn and don't like asking for help with things
Can you fix a computer?
@burpzzzzz depends on the problem to be honest, I never really have computer problems though and usually I'll just bug my sister if I don't understand.
Do you know how to have sex? Why won't anyone date you?
@RealManAdvice first off I'm not just going to have sex with someone and for that to happen I need to be dating them first. Secondly maybe it's because I'm the creature from the blacklagoon.
That's why you don't have any dates. Just have sex , then worry about the relationship after... Look , men can put up with a lot of shit if the sex is good. If the sex is bad, regardless of how good you get along, he's gone.. or he's cheating. Great sex my girl and a bit of sanity, that's the glue that holds a relationship together. Everything else can be worked out. Glad you put your workout clothes on when you get home, that's important for a woman, always keep that up. But don't be stingy on the sex.. and practice makes perfect ;)
@RealManAdvice I am not being stingy on anything, the last guy I was kind to and was glad to do what he wanted turned out to be using me and I refuse to be used again I am the one who put up with his shit.
You think guys don't get used. I mean do you hate sex? Everything doesn't have to revolve around a relationship. Look, the dream guy your looking for , memo: DOES NOT EXIST, you'll figure that our later in your 30's, but if you figured it out now you'd have more fun and set yourself up to actually meeting the right guy. Witholding sex because some douchebag was leading you on is not the way to go. You are only hurting yourself. I got burned many times with women. Had money they are around, hit a rough patch , they are gone.. I'm not shutting women out, though or refusing to have sex with them.
@RealManAdvice first off I wanted to sleep with this guy because I thought he was interested in a relationship and I'm aware both genders get used. If I'm interested in finding a relationship then that's what I want and here's a fun fact I was sexually assaulted so that kind of changed things for me. You are entitled to your views and I am entitled to mine. I am not going to get into a banter with you about it. As of right now anyways I don't want a relationship and I don't want anyone touching me.
So now the truth comes out. So it's not that your strong and independent but rather that you had a bad experience with a man and are not open to being with a man. From the sound of it, your not open to being with anyone. Men smell that a mile away and stay away from you. So that's why no one wants to date you. It has nothing to do with being strong and independent as you mention. You sound bitter about this sexual assault thing. Now not sure what the scope of that assault was since that is a different topic with women making false accusations against men because a strong and independent woman friend of hers classified some incident as a sexual assault. The feminists are going off the rails making accusations against men sexually assaulting them these days. Not saying it doesn't happen but many of the accusations of late that you see in the media are ridiculous. It's just pushing men further away from the crazies. If you were legitimately assaulted then I hope your getting therapy.
@RealManAdvice I would never make a false accusation, I was and it was back in July. Prior to that I was fine and I was looking for a relationship. You are right, As of right now I am not open to it but before I was. Also yes I am in therapy I have been for over two months now. So to say no one wanted to date me because that I am closed off is a bit of a stretch since its been 3 months. But again I am not looking to banter about this, honestly.
3 months is nothing , not a long time. So it's not a stretch to say your not open. It will take you a while to get better, but you have to get better, or else you don't have a chance of getting into a relationship. I know women that 30 years later are bringing up some sexual assault by a family member or boyfriend and they cannot connect and have a relationship. They are alone and chase away any good men that come their way.
@RealManAdvice I am working on getting better, it takes time. Everyone bounces back from things differently. Yes I will admit I am closed off right now, but that doesn't account for the period before I was assaulted. Either way I right now I don't care because I need to work on myself right now.
Well I do wish you luck and a speedy recovery. Your douchebag radar will be working 100% once you get better so you should be able to spot and repel any future morons. Listen I know there are plenty of douchebag men out there. I live right in the city in the finance district and see them every day. Strong and independent preaching type women , somehow wind up going with these douchebages and believing their BS.
@RealManAdvice thank I appreciate your words. I do hope to be able to avoid these situations in the future.
Thank you*
Your welcome and I'm glad to help. Hit me up any time if you need to chat.
@RealManAdvice thank you very much, that is very kind of you!
Live with compassion and respect. Respect yourself first then respect others and neither let yourself be disrespected nor disrespect anyone else. Everything else is irrelevant (imo).
Well it’s certainly not going to work out well, I already read that male birth rates are declining due to global warming so I guess there are going to be a lot of lesbianism in the near future so with that and how men are not needed for anything anymore except for sperm donors then it’s going to be a bleak future for everyone
As long as she loves me and doesn't hold some of my failings or shortcomings over my head, I wouldn't care if she was successful, strong, assertive, or anything of things. Assertiveness in women is a turn on to me, so there is always that.
Sometimes guys just wanna feel needed.
If this strong minded woman can do everything on her own, maybe the guy doesn't feel like he is of value to her life
Hm, I think it's because in a relationship, both partners need a sense of desire for each other. Strong women like that make awesome friends in my opinion. Very easy to approach as well.
I think that the majority time, subconscious or not, guys are extremely afraid of a strong woman because of media and how they were raised. There are so many reasons why they could be/are.
Not all guys are like that though.
"extremely afraid of a strong woman"
No we're just disgusted.
Hey princess, no man is afraid of a strong woman, they are just afraid of the one's that say they are strong and independent. These women are put in the mental crazies category of women. I know this from experience. I warn all men to stay away from any woman who classifies herself as strong and independent, you don't want to go there!
I don't really get the point of this. But please, do tell me more about how I -- as a completely different person -- think and feel because you're apparently all-knowing.
There's also a lot of nuance you're missing that addresses if any of that is actually beneficial. We already do know some things about the kinds of things people value and choose to do with themselves, their motivations. I feel that you're just missing a bunch of stuff.
It's about being adaptable instead of expecting things to be the way they used to be, because they really aren't. People still want love and companionship and will keep seeking it, even without the old fashioned gender roles.
In fairness I find strong independent women a real turn on.
Me too.
I do TEMPORARILY because they are usually more forward sexually and take the guesswork out of things. However as time goes on and they try their hardest to emasculate me I get sick of them REAL quick.
Some do, some don't. I get along with those that do...
Being strong and independent doesn't mean you're overbearing and always 'on'...
It generally does if she is announcing it and peacocking as such.
@Westb87 If someone is 'pecocking' that's usually not a strong person but a deeply insecure one.
Agreed entirely ma’am, that was my point. Anybody, man or woman, who goes around peacocking about being strong and independent is anything but. Hope all is well with you!
i would love a women like that pfft i dont want power i want companionship and love and i would actually prefer a woman like that just me and her till the end