The difference between Dominance & Abuse

These days people are more and more confused as to what makes a man dominant and what makes a man abusive, the difference has always been pretty clear to me:

A dominant man is dominant when necessary, and an abusive man is dominant all the time

The difference between Dominance & Abuse

Even most women fail to understand the difference between dominance and abuse, then a good majority of women are attracted to abuse thinking it's dominance. If your boyfriend decides who you can talk to or not, if he decides other things like that as well and you like that, than you are attracted to abuse and probably have low self-esteem for some reason

Dominant men know the limits of dominance, they are not interested in dominating everyone they come across, but they tend to dominate everyone they come across without trying, their personality is what dominates any situation. An abusive man has to put effort in trying to dominate a situation because his self-esteem cannot stand a situation where he isn't the dominant one. You will never find an abusive person in some executive job but a dominant person who knows exactly when to be dominant and when not to be

Most women tend to be attracted to abusive men between the ages of 13-27, and some women are attracted to abusive men all their lives, women like that end up divorced and seek a weak man they themselves can dominate to marry, while cheating on him shamelessly with men that are abusive. Though some women manage to learn the difference between dominance and abuse and find a mentally sound man who is only dominant when he has to be

There are some things that I believe I should clarify, things that don't make a man weak:

1. Being calm and polite doesn't make a man weak

2. Being helpful and kind doesn't make a man weak

3. Not hitting a woman doesn't make a man weak

4. Compromising in a situation doesn't make a man weak

5. Apologizing to someone doesn't make a man weak

6. Being in an open relationship doesn't make a man weak

There are other things that don't make a man weak but most women like to believe they do, I don't think every point is necessary to be explained. I hope this article was enough to explain the difference between dominance and abuse


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Most Helpful Guys

  • A dominant male doesn't abuse anyone. He has the respect of those around him. Men who are abusive lack something internally. They aren't consciously aware of their shortcomings as men and they act out their struggle for power on other people they perceive as weaker. There are those asshats who walk around claiming to be "alpha". (Anyone who does that isn't alpha, they aren't even betas.)

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  • Alpha men just are, they don't dominate, people come to them for leadership. When people need something done they're the ones with the ideas, the confidence and ability to get it done. Often they don't want to be the alpha they just are it choose them you might say.

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    • Jordan Peterson isn't an alpha, he's a cuck. I've never understood why so many people look up to him.

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    • On some things he knows what he's talking about sure, but he doesn't really say anything special that others haven't already said. He also talks a lot about individualism, against nationalism, against identity-based politics especially for white people, shys away from the JQ. His message is 90% truth, 10% poison.

    • @englisc Peterson is a civ nat, they're all like that. He does know what he knows though he's just a product of his environment. You'll never find a scholar who got everything right, that's what people like us are for to come in , read his work and decide for our selves. All the old philosopy books out there now are like that too, you could read any one of them and be impressed by the author but there will be something in there that is wrong and you'll know it. If you want perfection you might as well give up literature and scholarship all together, it's not out there.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Good take, I think I am more of the sort of dominance you describe as opposed to what is commonly portrayed as "dominance" in today's society, which in reality is abuse.

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  • Funny thing. What I've observed is that women are FAR more likely to consider a man who is calm and polite, who is kind, who is willing to compromise, and who will apologize to be "weak" than a man will consider them "weak".

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  • I feel like you are shadow boxing against some caricature of men that talk and act like the Ultimate Warrior, rather than addressing real men.

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  • 5d

    Lets change this a moment, he starts off kind and polite or something from your list of what you consider a woman may view as weak, he slowly starts to trickle in the control, you don't see it coming. Because here's the thing, not everyone is looking for dominance as a characteristic and abuse isn't dominance, nor is dominance necessarily whats sought in a partner/potential one. Abuse is about power and control, so, it's not necessarily dominance what a women is looking for, when she ends up in that type of relationship, but more about what abusive people are looking for; The person that they can trap... so more likely they will portray exactly those 6 things and more... flowers, romance... etc etc

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  • I really liked this. I fully agree. Many people neeed to know the diference.

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    • 5d

      Oddly enough what he's listed as weakness is what I looked out for, and it's what I saw in the/a man when I first met him, this same man who I thought was having a bad day at the start of emotional abuse, who I tried to change for at one point so I didn't upset him so he went back to who he was... the same man who later could have killed me... he nearly did. (I know the difference between dominance and abuse, but what I didn't know what signs to look out for in the 'nice guy' that was in reality just a wolf in sheeps clothing)

  • Dominance - power and influence over others.
    Abuse - treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.

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  • Subjective opinion.
    There. You can go home now, everybody.

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  • Can you cite your sources for this post?

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  • Nice take.

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  • Good take

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  • Confidence doesn't make people abusive.

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  • TLDR

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  • abusive does not mean dominant

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