Why dont people HELP incels more?

[esotericstory]

Do you have someone in your environment who might be an involuntary celibate?

If you have trouble understanding them, this Mytake can help you out to better understand this person. More importantly, ultimately help them leave behind their hateful ideology.

Lots of incels watch porn which gives them a warped perception of reality and specifically sex. Many incels might be suffering from porn induced erectile dysfunction. This further reinforces their ideology due to lack of erection quality.

They reason why incels are ostracized is due to their belief system (which fosters inner hate). This system goes as follows:

A winner of the genetic lottery in incels' eyes.

Genetic lottery

Incels believe that genetics is a lottery and only few men win. They believe that simply due to luck they have inherited only the worst genes of their parents.

This is the key to the incel ideology.

Incels believe that 99 to 100% of all women are exempt from the genetic lottery. Women's genetic structure doesn't matter because they have a womb.

In their mind if women do lose the genetic lottery, make up will help alleviate the problem.

Fatalism

Fatalism is the belief that your fate is sealed the moment of your birth. The Vikings for example believed in this. Incels connect this to the 'genetic lottery' however.

This makes them believe they were born into the position they are in and improvement is not possible. Trying to improve is futile and leads only to more ruin in their mind.

Unlike the Vikings, who believed they should be heroic and noble and not worry about their fate. Incels believe only a life of misery and defeat is their destiny.

Female biological programming

In their mind women are programmed to only prefer the best men. Women spend their lives optimizing their looks and sexualizing themselves to get as much of the most best men in their surroundings.

This then enables them to get much better quality of life than the incels themselves. The resentment cultivated at this stage only. As soon as an incel believes this last part of the puzzle, he becomes a full fledged involuntary celibate.

Helping them out!

HARD

Some incels might have some health issues, physical and or mental, that make it more difficult to date girls and start a family. In this case Its difficult for them to exit their inceldom and more importantly, their ideology. These incels will need medical help.

EASY

Some guys are part of these incel forums. They are in good health, had their heart broken a few times. These individuals can exit the ideology easily. There is no untreated health condition stopping them from improving themselves and increasing their chances with girls.

The types with medical problems will need help, encourage them to go see a doctor. The guys who don't have conditions, help them understand that change is possible if they put some effort into it.

Thanks for reading, hopefully you learned something new.

[wynn-ing]

I am willing to help involuntary celibates in progressive and constructive ways as long as they do not let hatred and egotistical assumptions and views blind them.

I know incels who are not hateful and repellent, and I help them as much as I can. They are willing to listen and critically analyse what they're struggling with and actually do something progressive about it instead of JUST blaming others.

There is a subreddit called r/incelswithouthate and it is a very hope-giving and supportive sub. Success stories are widespread there more and more often and FAR more often than more popular incel subs as incels there are willing to critically analyse the problem and solve it without shifting blame or just sit there and complain. In fact, success stories are banned in certain incel subs because they give "false hope" or "are just fake because women/society/etc are x"

Point is, if you want help, you need to be willing to listen and consider your possibilties before jumping to hate. That's all.
There is just too many contradictions and antithesis to typical incel claims and the lash you get when you try to help is pure revolting hate in all forms. Just because you exist with two x chromosomes. It's off putting to say the very least.

I'm willing to help as long as they willing to try.

[0oGreyo0]

Incels aren't a thing. Its men who don't wanna try or complete in the world.
They want to be catered to and unfortunately, a woman doesn't like what's below a beta male. All incels aren't in shape, most don't have a job or a career, or good social skills. They don't want to date at their level. They expect Model type women when they look like a homer. People that say they are a Nice guy or i have a great person personality usually don't.
Its easier to be mad and jitter and hate the world than to realize you could go a little harder.

that whole GENETIC THING IS FALSE. Look at this man and look at her

[esotericstory]

I suggest you actually read the mytake.

[0oGreyo0]

I did and my point still stands

[esotericstory]

I have honestly no idea why men would want to "complete" in this world. You dont even take care to check your spelling so I am simply going to assume you didn't put enough effort into a well thought out response.

[Cnote22]

@esotericstory Lol grammar policing. Dude, you’re getting too defensive. You apparently posted this bc you wanted an entire community to come in here and, not only sympathize with a group that’s hurting but to agree with your position and that society should provide some kind of remedy. We’re just giving you our honest opinions in a conversation.

Obviously you either are or know someone close to you that is struggling to attract women. I can only tell you that all of us struggle to attract the women we really want. Even the most good looking among us face rejection and heartache.

Men have to compete because we’re in a free society, which means we don’t force people to do things. We don’t provide women to men like chattel, you have to compete for their affection.

[Anonymous]

For the same reason struggling men don't get help anywhere else. Nobody gives a shit about men's struggles really.

I was once an incel. Not that I was into the forums or anything, I'm not sure they even existed. Just that I was extremely shy and socially awkward. I just wanted a nice girlfriend like everyone else my age, and I couldn't for the above reasons. I wasn't a misogynist at all.

Still, nobody really cared. Sometimes I just got mocked for it.

Then I found the PUA community and learned "game". There were guys who'd been in the same boat who advised me there and helped me improve. Eventually I got good enough to do the same. That was the only place where people wanted to help and didn't just mock me for it. Yet still, that's demonised also. It's seen as weird for a guy to want to learn and improve that area. Feminists call it creepy and predatory.

People just don't seem to be able to actually empathise with men a lot of the time, even the ones who say they care.

[Mädchen]

1. They are misogynistic and advocate for rape. The first time I heard about incels was after this incel in america shot some people. After that I browsed through some incel websites and basically everyone was advocating for rape, beating or killing women and they praised the shooter. I realise not everyone is that extreme but it's the same as with feminism. Not every women that claims to be a Feminist automatically hates men. But the extreme ones are the loudest. And even the ones that are not that extreme have problematic views and we'd rather not associate with them
Just like with incels.
2. They can't be reasoned with and they won't take advice. I talked to a few incels of the less extreme kind on GaG before and they'll dismiss anything I say so I wouldn't know what to do to Help them.
I agree that we should care much more about men's mental health but I don't feel obligated to help people who won't treat me with respect.

[esotericstory]

Well hopefully if you have a brother or or a friend or something you can see the signs before he becomes a hater.

[Tyler131]

It has a lot to do with the fact that it is not socially acceptable for men to show emotions. This coupled with the very obvious fact that women are turned off by men who appear weak or desperate, prevents anyone from helping them. Even if they ask for help from their fellow man, they will most likely not get the help they require... Incels typically do not have a lot of friends and also need love, just like everyone else. It is a typical human drive and to dismiss the need to be love as a critical aspect in life, is foolish and dangerous. I am in no way advocating their hatred, but I understand where they are coming from and why they are doing it.

[MajesticTwelve]

Other people not being able to have sex, whatever the cause, is their problem. Sorry. There's far bigger things going on in the world right now, we don't really need "I can't fuck because my dicks broken" added to our plate. People like this need to stop trying to make their problems societies problems. Can't have sex, can't have kids, that's just life taking you out of the gene pool for being weak. Your genetic material doesn't deserve to continue on. We've spent far too many of our best and brightest to protect the weak as it is. Now we're expected to help you get laid? Pound sand.

[esotericstory]

I just hope someone can help such a person in their environment before they become a hater.

[Tyler131]

So basically what you're saying is that ugly or undesirable people, do not deserve love? Wow...

[MajesticTwelve]

@Tyler131 Did I say love, or did I say sex? I'm sure you can read, but just in case you can't, I said sex. This entire post was about sex, as was my response. Go be a snowflake on Tumblr you simpeton.

[Tyler131]

Wrong, you implied Darwinism, and taking them out of the gene pool, which implies that nobody should mate with them. This is sex sure, but typically when two humans mate, they are in love with each other? Or is today's society so screwed up that reproducing and love are completely unrelated?

[MajesticTwelve]

@Tyler131 They've always been unrelated at their core. Nice that you have idealized versions of it but that's not very true to reality. Clubbing people over the head and claiming them, arranged marriages, purchased brides, men forced in to marriage through pregnancy. Love is the ideal, but not always the reality.

[Tyler131]

Oh well I don't expect to get laid, or club/buy someone haha. I just expect to have a fair shot at someone who looks similar to me, but in a feminine version.

[MajesticTwelve]

@Tyler131 Im sure you and most people don't. But if no one did, there'd be no hookers, bar stars, and any of the other unfortunate situations I listed above.

[Tyler131]

I was being serious. I'm not saying i'm opposed to sex. I'm saying there are guys like me out there who have trouble getting girlfriends. I have had them and have had sex, there are guys like me who haven't. It seems like an impossible feat to find love for some of us guys and that's where the anger and hatred derive from, especially when we see unattractive women succeeding so often in the dating world and we are left to wonder, why can't we succeed as well... even if we do everything right.

[Cnote22]

The reality is that it's scientifically proven that women would rather share the top 20% of men then sleep with the bottom 80%.

Society does help incels. Essentially, this is why we promote monogamous relationships in society. To ensure there are females to go around and that they can't share the top 20% of men.

None of us are entitled to sexual partners. We have to attract them, which means offering something of value. Is there a genetic lottery? Of course there is. As women need women less and less for providing that genetic lottery only is becoming more important, as women can afford higher standards and don't have to settle for a man just for protection.

[esotericstory]

Post the research.

[Cnote22]

I’m not going to search for the research you can take what I said at face value, disregard it, or look up the research yourself on your own time.

To be honest you’re looking for society to help solve a problem that can only be solved at the individual level. The best we can do is be honest about the fact that it’s them that has to make a change, not society.

We all have to deal with rejection. I was just dumped by the woman I loved. I can go cry and bitch online about. No, I’m not going to do that. I’m going to double my workout session time, eat healthier, enhance my wardrobe and take better care of myself. I’m getting back into salsa dancing lessons (one of my co-rd activities). I’m saying hello to every attractive girl I come across.

Everyone must face adversity in their lives and you’re actually quite blessed if female problems are the worst thing you have to complain about. Uncles must learn for themselves that rejection is an opportunity to be introspective, better oneself, and get someone even better!

All we as society can do is pass along the advice.

[esotericstory]

No, the first block of text pertains specifically to individuals, not society.

[Billlewis]

There are two very easy and effective methods for both men and women to use if they'd like to provide assistance to incels and help them with their emotional, sexual and spiritual existence.

-- it sounds odd, but ladies, go out of your way to relentlessly tease every incel you meet or encounter online, and deliver as much unfulfilled sexual arousal as you possibly can.

-- guys, whenever you have an online or in person conversation with an incel, remind him of how often you're fucking your girlfriends and female lovers, and be sure to describe in detail how intensely pleasurable it feels when you're climaxing inside her.

These two steps will go a long way towards giving incels greater pleasure in their sexual lives, because eventually, they'll adapt to the frustration of being teased and shamed, and they'll start to get off on the humiliation and sexual frustration that you're providing for them.

[Sweetnessxoxo]

i agree but It’s hard to have sympathy on people that treat you so badly online even though you have never done anything wrong to them. I ignore them helping them doesn’t cross my mind because they’re so mean and I’m not sure how to help either. I literally have these guys or anons stalk me on every How do i look question that i ask and they’re just on there to insult me i have never witnessed such cruel people online like them that’s why i avoid that section

[esotericstory]

I know that and I understand it. But I hope if you maybe have a brother or a cousin who is becoming like that and you see it, you can prevent it from happening before the hate sets in.

[Testaccount65754]

"i have never witnessed such cruel people online"

What do you do online? lmao

[Sweetnessxoxo]

@Testaccount65754 the how do i look section if i ask anything there or if anybody posts pictures of me i get hate I blocked those people but they’re always there

[Testaccount65754]

What I was trying to say is that everywhere I go on the internet everyone is cruel, I thought it was weird that it’s just an exception to you.

[Sweetnessxoxo]

@Testaccount65754 just here and yahoo but yahoo i got to say is wayyy worse

[Testaccount65754]

I agree, I came here from Yahoo and I hate it.

[Sweetnessxoxo]

@Testaccount65754 me too

[dvc0006]

to be fair, the "cruelty " that you talk about is nothing compared to the cruelty that is inflicted upon incels. Imagine what is like to to have to live the rest of your life knowing no one will ever like you no matter what.

[EleanorRigby]

Because most incels do not want actual help, plain and simple. Here I am regarding to men who see their whole identity as incels. There is many men out there who are celibate because they can't find anyone, but they won't go roam around the internet calling women whores and hating on attractive men.

What an incel wants is easy sex. Not self improvement.

[SydneySentinel]

Involuntarily celibate but VOLUNTARILY hateful towards women. There's no reasoning with them. Maybe Darwinism will take care of these type of men?
I'm sorry that they struggle so much against the "genetic lottery" but they're not doing themselves any favors by being so hateful. Being a good person will give them a better change.

[Boodica]

People who look outwards for blame of their failures will never recover. One must look at oneself as only you can change yourself. No one can change you. If you are not satisfied with your life then change it. Lose weight by not eating gobs of brown & white food. Ugly face? Grow some facial hair. To short? Michael J. Fox, Tom Cruise, Prince, John Stamos, Dudley Moore. Stop whining & fix yourself. Or buy a nice friendly whore in Pahrump

[startingfitness]

a lot of incels can't be helped, so its not really a useful effort.
I think the bigger problem is people throwing around "incel" as an insult, like they do " pedo" or "rapist".
sometimes, its so extreme, that if you don't act like a complete cuck , or just stand up for yourself or speak your mind they will call you incel.

[Shamalien]

Yeah it's never been about helping incels, the term was created as an insult, just a new form of bullying, that's all it is.

It's not just the so called "incel" ideology that is the problem. Loveless men are a byproduct of a now largely loveless world

[Anonymous]

No matter the circumstances, society is always more lenient and compassionate , and less judgmental toward females than males. Most people are simply incapable of seeing beyond that bias in themselves.

[esotericstory]

If you see person with depression, you help em out, same with incels.

[Opinion Owner]

Agreed. But the bigger problem is the bias I mentioned. We as a society need to acknowledge it and change it. We still see women as defenseless victims and men as perpetrators by default, but in many ways the opposite is actually true.

"Men’s greatest weakness is their facade of strength, and women’s greatest strength is their facade of weakness.” ~Warren Farrell

[esotericstory]

I agree, but this mytake wasn't written for society at large.

[Chthou95]

Yeah i can agree that helping them out or try to help them out is better than insulting or mocking them. I can synthesize with a lot of incels & they're not the incels that society and media claims they are. I know it's not related to this, but i do feel that society plays a big part in making things worse. But of course it will never acknowledge this. But doesn't mean you can't try

[Anonymous]

Incels are not interested in the help that is readily available, they prefer to blame things beyond their control so they can abrigate responsibility for fixing their own circumstances. ("Women hate me because I'm short! I can't fix that!")

[esotericstory]

Its not difficult for a community of people to help out its own members. Individualism is a menace.

[Opinion Owner]

We are all individuals. There's nothing particularly unique or special about incels.

[esotericstory]

Every human on earth, except those in isolation cells are surrounded by communities of people from birth until death. The purpose of this mytake as mentioned in the mytake is to help people understand the mindset of incels specifically.

[Anonymous]

I must say, you have a very patronizing view of the group and their doxology, which you clearly cannot understand. I know this is hard to believe, but what the telesecreen tells you is not really true.

[pigoat]

I agree help out an incel

Might be pretty damn hard

[Anonymous]

Life is competition. There is limited resources, in this case p*ssy. And unlimited wants, in this case guys who want that p*ssy. To help an incel would only be to create more competition for yourself

[Dchrls78104]

Saul of Tarsus needed help from Jesus. Doo did Judas Iscariot.

[Dchrls78104]

So did Judas Iscariot*