Why do people commit suicide? - Insight from a well known GaGer who feels like dying

Anonymous

Why do people commit suicide? - Insight from a well known GaGer who feels like dying


Recently, (and when I say recently, I mean within the last few days), I have had thoughts of taking my own life. The only real thing that keeps me from carrying it out is my belief in God. That really is the only reason. I decided to write this because I think me doing this will have some benefit for a few people. The reason why I feel this way is largely due to an immense feeling of loneliness in my life, and its been that way for many years. I won't go into too long of a history, but basically, I don’t have the greatest relationship with my family (a family which at the moment is quite broken), nor many of my friends, (including some on this website) and my love life is not so stellar. I’m the kind of guy who may not necessarily be the fastest, or the physically strongest, but I feel like I’ve at least always had the endurance to make it through to the end. Lately though, a lot of that fire has been burning out. I know there are people on here who can understand this, but for those that don’t, I’ll tell you what it feels like. It feels like to get any sort of care or attention from anybody, I have to pay a higher price compared to everyone else. I pay $20 for the same care that everyone else pays 2 cents for, if you want an analogy for it. It’s not easy for me, especially as a guy to express that I’m going through problems like this, because its so often misconstrued, and you’re so often ridiculed for not being strong enough as a man to handle first world problems. I mean the bright side is that I’m not starving to death, and my health could be worse. Despite this though, it doesn’t change the fact that I feel super unvalued, isolated and almost like a waste of space. I’ve felt this way for a long time, but it’s something that has progressively gotten worse. There is so much more I’d like to say on this, but I just think it would be too much to handle. Even anonymously, I'm embarrassed to even go further.


I’m really writing this for two reasons. The first reason is that I honestly wanted to get this off my chest, but the second reason is that I want to give people a little insight on one more thing. People are always surprised to hear about one of their loved ones committing suicide. They usually are shocked, because the person seemed quite fine to them just a few days prior, and they wish that if they had only known sooner, they might have done something. After going through these kind of negative feelings myself, I’m starting to understand why that seems to be the case. GaG for me has become something more than what it was originally. Before it was just about getting advice, but these days it has been more and more about meeting new people and getting that sort of interaction that people don’t give me in real life when i put myself out there. A lot of you reading this actually know who i am, as i am a fairly well known GaG user, and I’m sure many of you would be surprised to find out I was going through this. A lot of people who are going through these issues, especially men, are VERY good at hiding it, because they’ve been doing it for years out of necessity to fit in and be accepted.

Why do people commit suicide? - Insight from a well known GaGer who feels like dying


On GaG, I'm usually very happy, easy going, approachable, and i like to kid around often. But that is not a reflection of what is going on on the inside. I may appear happy, but i can assure you that I am not. Inside, I'm actually quite sad. Disappointingly so. The only reason I appear happy is because I know its necessary in order for me to maintain the few interactions/relationships that I do have. No one wants to be around someone who seems depressed all the time, so I've become very good at not looking depressed whatsoever.

It’s unfortunate, but GaG increasingly has started to mirror my real world situation, where I’ve lost a lot of friends for one reason or another. It’s at the point where it has become a great labour to get any sort of interaction from people on here. There would be days where I’d send messages to new people, trying to get to know them better, or old users who I’ve never talked to before… only to have them either ignore my message, or randomly stop responding mid way through a conversation. Not that I am blaming them, as these tend to be good people. But they are also the kind of people who would be surprised to hear that i committed suicide the next day, and would probably wonder why i never reached out to them. So like my real life, my “online life” is becoming one where I increasingly feel isolated, alone, not worth the space. I say this only because I have a sneaking suspicion that there are a good number of guys and girls alike on here who are going through similar issues, and use GaG in a similar way to try and connect with people who wouldn’t otherwise spend the time of day with them outside of here.

I think that people who end up committing suicide do so because they feel like no one cares to read the subtle alarm bells that things are bothering them. The loneliness becomes smothering, and they feel that if no one cares about them, why should they even bother anymore? I mean, if no one acknowledges them now, who will even miss them when they are gone. I’ve gone through the exact same thought process, especially recently, and it just hit me as to why people end up doing it.

Why do people commit suicide? - Insight from a well known GaGer who feels like dying

My hope is that after writing this, you will take a look at your followers list, or a question where the OP seems perturbed, or perhaps a friend who seems perfectly fine…and ask them (with a genuine interest) if they are feeling okay. I’m telling you as someone who feels like dying, that I would pay so much to get that sort of unsolicited care from a person. Most of the time, they will be okay. But sometimes that extra little effort you put in to making someone feel cared for can go a long way in changing their mood. And if you learned anything from this take, I hope it was that you can’t really make too many assumptions about anyone. The most happy, “popular” person you know on here could be the person who is suffering the most on the inside, especially men..mainly because we are conditioned to not speak when something is bothering us, and when we do, its often ridiculed.


The truth is that the internet really is that last life line for a lot of people going through rough times. The kinds of things you do/say to people online can honestly tip the scale one way or another, because a lot of people come here as a form of escapism. I was so uncomfortable about writing this, that i really had no choice but to go anonymous. But I’ve been talking to one or two people recently, and it has really made me reinforce my belief that you just can’t make assumptions about anyone on here. Regardless of whether the person has 1 follower or 100, the person can be suffering on the inside, just as badly as anybody else you know. In fact, a lot of the people who seem to have a lot of friends only get messaged by one or two people. All I’m saying really is that if this myTake inspires you to do anything, my hope is that you ask either a random person, a follower, or a person who you follow if they are doing alright. You never know how much that one little action can do.


Take care.


and P.S. I’d like to give a shoutout to a user who I think does a great job at reaching out to people. Some of you know him as doctorwhofan23. What he does is very simple, but he’s very consistent about it. He reaches out to people often from what i’m told and based on what i see. A simple hi, how are you every now and then is really all he does, but its really something others, including myself, have come to appreciate. Thank him for it, if you ever see him about on here.

Why do people commit suicide? - Insight from a well known GaGer who feels like dying
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    I feel this way every so often. same as most (if not all) regular gag users I'm lonely and in use this site more for the human interaction than for any advice. for a while chatting with certain users picked my mood way up/actually helped me get through the day. not so much now. it's important to have someone to talk to regularly. however, for myself I've found it's better to have someone to talk to about things you enjoy in life, or even random bull shit, more than sitting around talking about what sucks in life all day. not to say you shouldn't talk about those things. you definitely should, just not as much. spending too much time dwelling on them makes the situation worse, it seems. the best thing to overcome it, it to find a balance and have a good support system/team.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • TedStar
    This really upset me :(

    If you ever wanna talk, I'm available :D and that goes for any other GAGer that wants someone to talk to
    Is this still revelant?
    • Anonymous

      thanks TedStar. You do know me, but I'm not sure i feel very comfortable revealing myself to anyone atm

    • TedStar

      No problem big guy. Stay safe

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What Girls & Guys Said

2126
  • steveguitar
    Hey, I have felt like that, and still don't know if I am totally out of it. no idea where to go, what to do, and it feels like everyone you know or knew doesn't want to touch you with a ten foot pole, nor would they want to talk to you because they can't relate to you with their social and happy life.

    I am still not a very social person, I never was really. I had shit friends in high school, but because of them I got into the things that I got into, and even though I don't know them, I still do many of those things, like play guitar and bass guitar, and write songs for my self. I have actually had one of my songs evaluated, by an association for Canadian songwriters. I got a really good review for the song being a rough demo. but I have to say that song writing helps me get a lot of shit off my chest. not that I always write dark lyrics or sad things, but just gives me an outlet.

    The worst part of my life right now, and which has always been the worst part of my life is finding success in normal things, like getting a decent job after graduation, still don't have one, graduated in 2010. this damned society... I feel like my mother has always been on my back about school and getting a job. she has always told me to go work at Costco, go work here or there, or you know that guy he's an auto mechanic, or my coworkers son does this, have you ever thought about doing this... how about a trade... NO FUCKING NO!!

    I tried to get out last year, lucky I was able to sneak around, doing things that I shouldn't have been doing. I stopped working at the part time job I had for 10 years, gave up on my diploma, and my qualifications. tried to find something that interested me. in this time I was hoping to find something that was close to my heart, I guess that is what my whole life was... not having much in terms of social stuff so being alone and doing things I liked or wanted to do at that moment, that is my whole life.( I'll continue below. sorry to make you read so much
    • so as I said, I play guitar and bass. and one day I put on my glasses and realized that my guitar needed some repair, so I thought that I would look up how to fix it myself, because I thought that it was going to be a huge job and cost a lot. so I searched and found a course to learn how to build a guitar, and I took it for 2 months during 2014 summer. I tried to find a full time job in that, but there is nothing that pays well, though I did find a job for min wage which sucks, but it's still in the guitar arena.

      I am now again looking for jobs in the field of recreation and leisure services which is what I have my diploma in. but so far there have only been two jobs to apply for.

      I guess what I am asking is, do you have anything that helps you get through the shit? even if people are always on your back, judging you, telling you how to do this or that, or forcing things on you, is there anything that you do that calms you down?

      also do you have a full time job?

    • Anonymous

      hey mate. I hear you. For me, what helps is really sitting back and spending time evaluating what i personally want out of life. There are people in my life atm who are trying to dictate to me what I should and should not be doing, and for a long time, following this has made me more depressed on the inside. It wasn't until i started researching what was out there in the world, and what was going on did I start to not feel so alone.

      Recently, I had a bit of an episode yes, but the moment I find myself engrossed in my work... work that makes me feel fulfilled, i do start to see glimmers of hope. You say you are into guitars. I think you can work with that, but try to reach a larger audience with your work perhaps. I think YouTube would be a great place to start sharing your work. If you are hard working and consistent with it, you could make a very vibrant channel that ends up clearing away your financial woes. That's a possible route I'd probably go if i were in your shoes

    • Anonymous

      at the moment though, i dont really have a full time job as i am still in school

    • Show All
  • ThisGuy42
    That was deep. Thank you for sharing your take. I guess now I can go reach out to the few followers I have. See if their doing ok. Thank you for this I learned some stuff. Happy late Valentine's Day. I wish the best for you.
    • Anonymous

      I'm glad to hear that. Take care

    • ThisGuy42

      You too.

  • Vetsin
    I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way and it's sad that so many people are feeling unbearable loneliness, especially in an age when we have so many ways to communicate and keep in touch with other people. Why people commit suicide can vary greatly, but I think that feeling that life has nothing more to offer or when living has become too painful are major reasons.
    • Anonymous

      I believe i can get over these feelings eventually... but my worry is that i may end up snapping before getting to the other side of this deep valley, sort of speak

    • Vetsin

      Well, I really hope you do end up seeing the light at the end of the tunnel before that happens. I always think to myself that this life is short compared to the time i'll be dead. You say you believe in God. Do you believe in an afterlife also?

    • Anonymous

      I do, yeah

    • Show All
  • Durty
    God is All you need. No matter how much we like and\or love this material world, and the folks in it.
    I'm an ex robber. Me n my boys used to rob dope dealers. Crazy thing is it started of as bag snatching on Halloween , then we moved over to snatching bags from guyscwho were bag snatching. After a while, candy wasn't worth the fight. So one homie got an idea. We tried it, and it worked.
    Being 14 was a hard thing to do where I'm from. But I learned I'm depressed, and have taken two attempts at taking my own life. I won't mention the other side of such. But to this day, I'm still trying to do whut I can to reverse the long term affect just the first attempt has had on my family.
    Now, to be honest... I still have those thoughts. And suicidal thoughts are selfish. I have a wife, couple of girlfriends, six beautiful children, and 3 grandkids. and now I know I am selfish. Too selfish to even think about giving all of that up. I also have jiu jitsu, no GI. I won't trade it for the world.

    One trick I found was a tattoo. I have Se7en bullet hole tattoos. Two are from my attempts, the other five are thoughts that were that dark and that low.

    I just wanted to put a thought in your head. I don't know how you feel bout the things I just told you. But I'm gon leave you with this. When another man takes an attempt on your life, it changes the way you feel about your life. That change is a motherfucker. Because it really can be for the better or for the worse. You think those dope dealers wanted to lose their shit? You think they gave it up easy?

    You are worth it homie. Keep on pushing. I'm told that the light at the end of this dark tunnel only only shines its brightest to guys like you and I.
  • Tirana
    I, too, know exactly what you mean. 5 years ago I attempted suicide for the first time. To all appearances I was happy, at least content. I was in the military, had a place to live, had a good friend on the same ship, even had just started a new relationship.

    But it was all an act. I hated my life, I hated that the military had pushed me into a job I didn't want for their own bull shit agenda (signed on as electrician, they forced me to switch to cook partway through). The new guy was just an excuse to get out, go somewhere, use sex as an escape.

    But its not an escape, its not a fix. And I did something about it. I didn't particularly plan it, beyond an idea of wanting it. Didn't have any notes written, or affairs in order.

    Obviously, I was not successful. And to boot, a week later I found out I was pregnant. Many people tried to blame my behavior on hormones, which pissed me off. My unhappiness with life wasn't because of fucking hormones.

    I was forced to see a psychiatrist, who used his typical bull to figure me out, so to speak. I was diagnosed as borderline personality with sociopathic tendencies. He suggested counselling, I told him fuck off.

    Needless to say, I'm not in the military. I did have my daughter, and tried so hard to keep the relationship with her father, but things just went downhill due to outside influences, namely his ex wife.

    I still harm myself when I'm seriously depressed. I retreat. I am good at portraying the mask, but inside is a quiet desperation, a silent screaming that I can't silence. I've been okay this cycle for a few weeks now, and a lot if that has to do with a very patient, calm friend of mine who thinks he doesn't help because he doesn't understand, but does so much more than that. When I'm upset, he just holds me, and that sometimes is all I need, someone to not say anything, or try to understand, just someone to hold me while I cry, even if they don't understand why.
  • DailyAlice
    a lot of what you have said resonates with how I feel. Although I've never felt suicidal and I've never had suicidal thoughts. I've only ever thought that I could never do it and I would brave life to the end no matter how difficult.

    I do feel isolated. A lot. Especially at my age. Everyone is married. Everyone has their own life. But I don't. I work a lot. And I can't stop working. I spend a lot of my time alone, so I need to work a lot so I can make a lot of money so I can travel and shop and do other things I love.

    I too have lost lots of friends. I lost my pet bird last month which has been very difficult for me. She was a parrot and she relied on me and was so attached to me. We spent so much time together. After she passed away no one was there for me. No one called to check on me. That's when I discovered that people online are awesome. So many people reached out to me, other fellow bird lovers who understood me. If it weren't for them I don't know what I would have done. All my friends had to say was "She's just a bird". No one understood, or even cared to understand our bond or what I was going through. My boyfriend didn't even care and broke up with me. I know I'm not the happiest person but like you I'm trying really hard. I've definitely gotten better though. Life is what we make of it. So what if we sometimes end up alone? I'm trying to be okay with being by myself a lot. I'll just keep doing things I love and try to work on my happiness and try not to be negative. Eat healthy, exercise. Those things always help. Exercising releases happy chemicals. I find that finding things to be happy about helps a lot.

    I have a good relationship with my family but they're not always understanding of me, and again, they have their own lives. But for you, even though you feel you meant nothing to your family that doesn't mean you'll mean nothing to EVERYONE. You just haven't met good people yet, and good people are very very very difficult to come across.
  • BelleGirl21
    Great take and I'm sorry you're going through this. I especially like the reminder that you really have no idea what others are going through no matter how put together their lives may seem. I hope I haven't increased those feelings of loniless on gag for you. ***hugs***
  • xHoneyxBeex
    This was wonderfully written. I completely agree that we shouldn't make assumptions about people because we have no way of knowing what they may be going through or how they may be feeling on the inside. What you're feeling won't last forever. Sometimes we are put through difficult situations to make us stronger and I'm sure you will come out of this stronger than ever before. I hope things get better.

    And I love that you mentioned @doctorwhofan23 He's definitely one of the sweetest users on here and he has always consistently been a good friend to me.
    • Anonymous

      Thanks honeybee. I think you are right at the end of the day. Its just easy to miss the light at the end of the tunnel when you feel like you have no one in your corner.

    • Oh believe me, I understand how that feels. I know it's easier said than done but keeping a positive attitude can help a lot as well as staying strong in your faith :)

  • CHARismatic110
    This was probably the best Take I've read on here. Simply because everything you said is completely true. You never really know what a person is going through on the inside. Especially when it's so easy to put on a front. And a lot of times people don't really make an effort to dig a little deeper. One of the main reasons why I haven't left yet is because I enjoy meeting new people on here. But I'll admit that there are quite a few people that I've hesitated to message based off their "popularity" on here. Not stopping to think that we may be going through similar problems.

    Since you mentioned that your faith in God is what keeps you going, then take comfort in knowing that it will get better. This hit home for me a lot more than you'll know. I respect the hell out of you for your courage in writing this. Thank you.
    • Anonymous

      Much appreciated. I'm glad it resonated if you

  • Prettykangaroos
    I use G@G to raise my spirits everyday. It takes away my loneliness.
    • same here. although, it usn't helping as much anymore.

    • @thewanderingme I agree! I haven't been logging on as much. And when I do, I'm not as active. I feel like it's changed

    • @Prettykangaroos I think it's more the people in this weird little community that changed. the site only made minor (somewhat annoying) aesthetic changes.

    • Show All
  • koko124
    "The truth is that the internet really is that last life line for a lot of people going through rough times."

    I would argue that a lot of these rough times were caused by the internet, either directly or indirectly.
  • DooMguy
    DAMMM BOii ! ! Good take. Alright, here's what ima do, ima go message some peeps (and maybe drop some rhymes) generally I ain't into messaging and I usually avoid that section

    Usually you can recognise someone's writing style. . . I can't say that I recognise this style. . . anyway, i'm out
  • MargaritaPeach
    Very deep and moving letter. Someone who I love deeply has tried to committee suicide three times. I have done everything in my power to help them. The battles of depression, isolation, loneliness, or mental illness that often put people on this path are very real, and last a lifetime. Just know that you are not alone. And that we are so glad you are still here.
  • Your_boss960
    I always knew something was up.

    When you aksed all those questions about feeling unloved, unwanted, and uneeded. I didn't think you were attention seeking and I didn't answer rudely... Because I knew it was your cry for help.

    (If this is who I think it is)

    Often times people who commit suicide don't want too. They wish there was another way out. They just start feeling so helpless. And I hope you stop feeling that way. I hope you find happiness and I hope that it replaces your loneliness.

    You can talk to me if you want.. But I'm like 14 so yeah
    • Anonymous

      i dont think im the same person you are thinking of, as this is the first time I've really confessed this on GaG. I guess there are other out there who've felt the same way unfortunately

    • jacquesvol

      @Your_boss960

      I really appreciate your posts.

  • DeltaDanner
    I can understand where you're coming from. I've been there and I have made attempts. You summed it up pretty well, and I thank you for voicing your opinion. I may not ALWAYS be right there, and I might not respond right away, but if you need to talk, or a prayer, I'm here. That goes for anybody. God bless
  • YourFutureEx
    It felt like I'm reading my own letter :'( I've been passed through such circumstances too.
    I know bro you will survive, not just survive but will live a happy life.
    #ProudOnYou
  • M_A_X
    A wise man once said, "Whether or not to commit suicide is the essential and only legitimate philosophical question"

    I'm only alive today because I failed to kill myself before
  • Jersey1
    I told myself a long time ago that if I ever felt like commiting suicide that I would have a place far away to go to and do something completley different. For me, I would leave everthing here because if I was to commit suicide, I would have left everything anyway. I would head to Arizona and just kick around, meet people, explore, camp in the desert... Do whatever I wanted, there is freedom in that mindset.
  • jacquesvol
    I understand your feelings, I had them too, long ago.
    Now I'm happy and I'm so since I met my wife in 1967. We were both 19-20 then.

    If I had committed suicide when I felt like you, I'd never have lived all those years of real happiness.

    By the way, my wife too has had moments, months she felt down. When she was 14, I wasn't there to help her out. Her friends and her mom did.
    When she was 25, i was there.
    • jacquesvol

      My message in this: it's not because you feel this way now, these months that you'll feel that way for the rest of your life... UNLESS you terminate it yourself; the you'll die being unhappy without all the happiness you got coming for the next 40 or 60 years (or longer). THat would be a bad deal thus, the worst.

  • bubble_tea
    I didn't know you believed in God... I understand why some people try to kill themselves, but with some people I don't, because they are good at hiding it like you said you did.

    I hope those thoughts are history now and you've found at least one reason to not do it. Wouldn't you miss being able to do the hobby you love so much?
    • Anonymous

      I would yes, which is partially why I haven't actually acted on these occasional thoughts so far

    • bubble_tea

      Let's just hope you will never lose your sight or faith in God =)

  • Dipsy
    Please, dont give up on life. I have felt suicidical thoughts as well (they laster very short), but they went away whenever i did something i enjoyed to do.

    So a tip for you and other people: maybe get a new hobby, or do things you enjoy to do.

    Also, you can never read the future, who knows who you might encounter tomorrow? Maybe you'll find your best friend next week? Maybe you will find tour futures wife/husband nest month?

    Dont give up! You never know what crosses your path!
  • romanguy
    The best advice I can give you is to travel. Fell in love with ttravelling 4 years ago and I travel alone. Maybe you ll like it too you ll meet a lot of people good and bad but the experience is priceless... Just try it out... there are a lot of gud things to live for bro and dying is never an option
    • it doesn't fix the issue though. travelling and meeting new people is great but we all need a few lasting good relationships, not ton of "single serving friendships."

    • romanguy

      I thought that it ll at least help him recover from depression... And maybe that's what he needs right now

    • it'll merely take his mind of it for a while. as soon as the trip is over and he goes back to his regular life, it will come back. possibly worse.

    • Show All
  • Bandit74
    I can relate to a lot of what you say except for the belief in god part.

    great take 👏
    • Anonymous

      thanks bandit

  • Keyspirits
    Ima if i can't find @thechica. She's the only one that can save meh from this dark lonely place we called Hell. Ur the Angel that God probably send from heaven down to earth to save meh and look after meh. I'll continue fighting til the day I finally met ma Angel 🙏👼
  • ricke92m3
    I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.
  • Kshppatel
    Thanks for sharing this take op. The things I have been through have been small compared to others. I've had feelings and thoughts of taking my own life but I'm still here for some reason. Only thing going for me is my education. Family doesn't really talk to me and my love life and relationship is nonexistent. I thought getting into a relationship would make me happier but it didn't. It only made me more miserable and the relationship was toxic. I started to harm myself physically and mentally and emotionally and was being harmed by the other person too. I actually can't believe I made it out alive after that whole thing. I am a quiet person and don't express my feelings very often. I would rather deal with them on my own rather than talk about them. Not having my family's support made it even worse. I literally have no one to talk to about what I am going through. I'm surprised I'm still here.
    • Sorry to hear that man. You just gotta realize that whatever problem you have, it's only temporary and life can get better.

      I saw a really good sign about suicide prevention in my dorm at college. As cliche as this may sound, it said suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Very good thing to remember.

    • As far as the relationship bit goes, I think you're spot on. You have to be happy with yourself before you get into a relationship. If you're not happy and you're in a relationship, that relationship might cause dependency issues.

  • aboynamedbobby
    i'm sorry you feel like this im only 14 so maybe you won't want to talk to me but i care. if you want to talk let me know. hope you feel better:)
  • glamgamergal
    I hahave wanted to many many times but this was to ling and I didn't read
  • BloomingGirl
    I suffer from GAD, I get that low at times. My anxiety prevents me from having a normal life, focusing in school and succeeding in my own business. I have faith in God but I am in therapy and practice meditation. It is good to have a dream, find something you are passionate about to give a purpose.
  • HookingSwan
    I have only now read your Take

    Being someone that has been very recently in a funk

    I know at least a small portion of what u might b feeling. Although I admit that I didn't get to the point where I felt I wanted to commit suicide.

    But I did many times wonder if there was really a light at the end of that tunel of darkness and apathy I was feeling.

    With time I did get better. And I also admit that the internet and mayb talking with some people in it has given me some kind of solace.

    I turned to the internet when i was feeling like the people in my lige were not understanding at all what I was going through.

    I am mainly replying to ask how are you now?

    I hope better. Sincerely.
    • Anonymous

      hey there. Well im in a better place than i was when i wrote this. It's always something sort of in the back of my mind, but work has helped preoccupy my thoughts a bit. Im so glad you got better though. I hate that so many people go through this but can't really talk about it with anyone without having their image as a person tarnished

    • Yes. There is still a lot of judgement surrounding it.

      Even being depressed sometimes is seen either ass being an overly dramatic drama queen or as a mental patient.

      Many dont recognize it is indeed something real. I sure didn't feel the right support from my family. They did try. But not understanding why a person is like that makes any action they try to take utterly useless and sometimes even makes things worse.

      If u ever feel like talking thought. I am here. I won't judge.

      Wheb i see someone in a simmilar situation i feel like I want to help or at least listen, u know?

    • Nd glad to know u are better.

      It works a bit like waves doesn't it?

    • Show All
  • beautiful_fool
    I understand exactly how you feel, seeing as I feel the same. Feel free to message me (:
  • abundantlyrich
    Thanks for sharing... And not lashing out... Whoever you are...
  • art84
    Good article, I've never thought of committing suicide but if I ever did this would come in handy to remind of not doing so
  • notverycreativeguy
    Life has no meaning anyways, that's another reason why people commit suicide.
  • tenofthepeaks
    it's not, nay never, worth it...

    it can improve, you just have to work on improving your life...
  • apexalpha
    Well known G@Ger you are to young to die!!!
    • Anonymous

      well for the time being, im not going anywhere =)

  • lanternhill
    I think I know you? If so pm me.
  • allmenaredogs
    self love = self hate
  • Anonymous
    there was a guy at my school, he committed suicide.
    he was 15 or 16? Freshman.
    he was threatened by some kids who said they would kill his family if he didn't pay them this immense debt.
    He felt cornered and shot himself.
    He didn't think he could tell anyone, or ask anyone for money or help, couldn't call the cops because he was scared... to death.

    There have been reasons why i have wanted to kill myself, and most of it is because of my parents and the rest of my family... me worrying about my future or hating my body.

    I dont belive in god or some guy in "heaven" who pulls the strings, and I dont think destiny is a thing...
    I don't know, the only thing that stops me is my friends, some of them I've never even told about me cutting or anything like that... but i just think of them, and how much fun we have, and how careless they make me feel.
    and I stop and find some time to hang out with them and that helps me forget.
  • Anonymous
    I stopped reading after 'my belief in God'.
    I knew it was going to be biblical BS for the rest of it.
    • bubble_tea

      you make other atheists feel ashamed to be associated with you.

    • Newtown

      That's fine for you to think that, but why bother saying it?

    • Anonymous

      that's unfortunate, because i only mentioned God once... right where you stopped. Take care

    • Show All
  • Anonymous
    Hey things change. I nearly died.. overdose of pills. I didn't see any white light but total darkness. I felt so depressed & lonely. I was only 17 then. I ended up in so much pain. Nearly lost my sight as the side effects of the drugs I took were pulling my pupils towards my forehead. Couldn't speak for days. Pain was so intense had to have Valium. It was a reminder to me what real pain was like. It's the worst ever. I pulled through. Still I get the odd memory lapses. Years later I've met so many people. I learnt to be with positive people and that seemed to work. I wasn't destined to die. Killing oneself is murder & not right at all. I did it. You can. Think positive. I know it's difficult. But join a gym or a club whereby yiu can focus on positiveness. I been there & survived.
  • Anonymous
    Mhhm, Its a shame god dosent exist tho :/
  • Anonymous
    Who is this GaGer who wrote this?
  • Anonymous
    I totally understand you. I have gone through the same loneliness. My family was there for me, but sometimes, you can't be open to them about what you are going through as they just ask you to 'snap out of it.' Though they really supported me. Despite my degrading grades, they didn't question me twice as they knew I was depressed. But I didn't have anyone to talk to. My friends left me at the point when I needed them the most. I spent each and every second of my life searching for a way to finish my life quickly. It was only then that I met a guy. Honestly, it was all I needed to feel better. A person to whom I could talk about my feelings. He promised to not judge me, and he never did, so I got quite open about my feelings. He talked to me daily so my loneliness finished. I won't say that I got better instantly. It has been over a year since my suicidal thoughts finished, but I still think of self harm at times. But I am working on myself and I would definitely become stronger.
    There is a site called 7cups of tea where you can become a listener and help people in the problems. I generally go to that site and try to help as many people as I can. I don't want anyone else to go through the same loneliness I did. You can go to that site and find many listeners to listen to your problems as well.
    Depression is one of the worst time period of a person's life as we just become a lifeless body. But a single ray of hope is enough to brighten up our life a little. :')
  • Anonymous
    I've heard before that thoughts like that can be related to vitamin deficiencies or even allergies... you might want to research that!
  • Anonymous
    Thanks for sharing this. I think a lot more guys hold feelings in than will admit. I think this is a great take on a serious issue.
    • Anonymous

      thanks. Hope it helped you see things from a different perspective

    • Anonymous

      It did for sure, I feel it can help lots of people to read this take.

  • Anonymous
    I'm glad I'm not the only one. I had written in my diary about plans to kill myself. But I have another option, that being not letting bipolar take me. I have to survive for those in my life, ultimately for my younger brother.
    • Anonymous

      we definitely all have our own crosses to bare. Just hang in there

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