My boyfriend says things that hurt me? (Page 2)

Question

So, my boyfriend is very clear about his physical preferences about women and they represent someone who is completely my opposite: blonde, blue eyes, tall, etc. I resigned myself to the idea that I'm completely not his type... it's okay, he loves me. But it just gets to me whenever he makes comments about this.

 He's always so sincere... one time he told me that I looked disproportionate (my hips/ass is bigger than my breasts), he often jokes about my small breasts and points out my flaws, like it's nothing, while talking (some of them I didn't even know before I met him and made me really insecure). 
Sometimes he would make comments about girls, like saying my friend X is cute or good-looking or compliment someone about her hair or something like that. One night we were out with my friends, he turned to me and said "Sarah looks really good tonight". One other night we were hanging out and, while we were talking, I don't remember why, I ended up saying "beautiful girls", he answered me that when I said that someone showed up to say hi (meaning he got turned on).

I never do this kind of things, give him negative comments about his looks or positive comments about his friends' looks. I think it's very disrespectful and hurting, he sounds insensitive when he does it, like he doesn't understand that it could possibly hurt me.

Am I overreacting? Do you do the same as my boyfriend with your partner?

christinenquincy · Answer

I would be pissed the fuck off. The person I am with now has acruelly made me fee secure with myself and to love my body because like you, I was extremely insecure. It's not good to be with someone who makes you feel bad for yourself. I know you may really like him or love him but you should feel that way about yourself first.

523206720 · Answer

BREAK UP WITH HIM. He is trying to destroy you so that you will be easier to control and it will only get worse as time goes on.

Jacques529 · Answer

There's more to this. He knows it hurts you. It should be common sense. Maybe you two are just at two different levels of maturity. I know this might not be what you want to year but as a guy I can see the trajectory where this is going and it is not good at all. I would break up with him.

Supertriston · Answer

Don't try to become a "Dream girl" to that guy then. A guy should love you FOR who you are. He just sounds like an up-tight snob honestly. Just dump him he isn't worth the torture to you.

Anonymous · Answer

Look, I don't know this guy but he's really insensitive. Honesty is very much appreciated but only when it's asked for in the first place. Many of us girls are insecure enough as it is, always trying to meet these ridiculous standards that society has put for us. We don't need extra negativity in our life. So you have a disproportionate body? Hell, so do I and a bunch of other girls but you should love yourself for your virtues and learn to accept the flaws. He claims you have small boobs? But I'm sure you have a nice butt. Big butts are the thing right now so be grateful you have that and also you seem to have a good heart, that makes you even more beautiful.

Jersey1 · Answer

Guys say stupid stuff like that. You just have to figure out is it going to be a major problem. I got drunk and told my wife about some great sex I had with an old girlfriend and that every time I hear AC/DC song " You shook me all night long" I think of it, especially the "American thighs" part of the song. I have been told that I will never be forgiven for that. Ouch, when the song come song comes on the radio... Stupid stuff that I said but I love her and not the other girl.

lostcause23 · Answer

Leave him. Abusive relationships are hard to leave, but with support from people close to you you will be able to move past it all. I know you love him, and you tend to wear 'rose coloured glasses' when you're with someone you love, but this is not okay. Please confide in someone before you lose any confidence you have left.

Anonymous · Answer

No, your boyfriend is supposed to build up your self-esteem, not tear you down. One thing that came to mind is that maybe he is trying to keep your self-esteem low so that you won't (in his mind) find someone better. Another is that maybe he doesn't realize how upset this is making you. I would definitely approach him about and tell him that his constant criticism is making you feel bad, and that he needs to cut it out. If he still does this sh*t after you've told him to stop, then I would dump him. It's not okay for someone who supposedly loves you to make you feel bad about yourself, and no one deserves that kind of treatment.

Splintercell · Answer

Have you told him how you feel about the way he talks? Some of is over reacting, but to talk to you about other women and not complement you when your his girlfriend. He suppose to be honoring you in the relationship he has with you. That's how I see it. Dump him.

wishfire10 · Answer

Thats extremely disrespectful to you as his gf, and he should not be telling you what girls turn him on. Honestly I would tell him to cut it out, tell him that its hurtful to you, if he doesn't stop, either show him how it feels til he understands or dump his sorry butt for a guy who appreciates you.

SuperMommie13 · Answer

Are you just letting these comments fly by when he says them? Bc I would honestly say something to him right then about it. My hubby and I are completely honest and open about things, we mention if we see someone we find attractive to each other but he's never called any of my friends beautiful

LastGirlScout · Answer

I've been with a guy who did this, he'd take every opportunity to compare me to other women he found attractive. He did it because he was seriously insecure and wanted to make me feel totally worthless so I wouldn't leave his sorry ass. This guy might think and say he loves you but he doesn't.

justwannabehappy55 · Answer

He need to get his head out of his arse and start concentrating on you he shouldn't even be talking like that about over girls and I know how you feel because I'm going through relationship issues and talk to him about it and is he worth it maybe he doesn't understand

greycadillacs · Answer

Being with someone means they build you up, not tear you down. It's one thing if you ask for his opinion about your breasts, but he's going out of his way to put you down. And body parts that you cannot help are the worst of insults, because there's nothing you can do to change them! If he said he didn't like your hair, maybe you could change it.

If you want my honest opinion, you need to drop this guy. You say he loves you but his actions are the opposite.

KBob93 · Answer

This ain't no bf honey, this is a glorified sadist. Next time he disses you, you need to tell him to

foxsquirrell · Answer

He's a mother fucker. That is the first thing that came into my mind. If he does not like you he should leave you. If he loves you he would not say those things to you in my opinion because to him you would be the most beautiful girl in the world. That is what I think. Goodluck.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

Time for you to move on. If a guy can't accept a gal and the way she looks (ie, too much makeup, boobs to small, etc) then he has no business in a relationship with her.

AnayaWilliams · Answer

If he says things that hurt you then why are you with him? If I was in your position which I'm not I would dumb him and never look back. Relationships are supposed to make you a better person, and your partner is supposed to make you happy and make you feel good and stuff, he isn't doing that so you might as well kick him to the curb.

collegerules · Answer

Sweetie of course you're not overreacting I that is really rude and disrespectful of him to do that to u. He shouldn't bring u down and make u feel less of yourself. Have a talk with him and let him know how you feel and if he continues to do the same thing it's time to find someone who wouldn't do that to u

Curious-koala · Answer

It could be that he's so content with you that he's just saying it as a matter of fact I would do the same with my ex and she would be cool with it most the time everyone gets jelly... but that could be a factor , bottom line you guys or you might not be on the same level and need to have a talk about this or you'll just go nuts

My boyfriend says things that hurt me? (Page 2)

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