Guys, why do you take so long to text back?

Question

I'm dating a nice guy, but one thing that really irks me is his response time when it comes to text messaging. I know he's not trying to be a douche, he's just not married to his phone like most of us, lol. 

Of course, I'm a girl and I can't help but also think this equates to his level of interest in me. I'm not asking for the moon, just an acknowledgement, or even a quick "Hey can't talk call you later" would be nice. 

So guys, what are your reasons for taking so long to reply back to a girl?

gapminder · Accepted Answer

OK , you're in my age group (35 and over) according to its site. And if the guy is between 25 and our age he probably really despises texting. At our age I'm willing to bet that your guy would rather be doing many other things besides text message anyone period. On this site it seems many women take this as a dis, or as a sign of lost interest but I assure you that is probably not the case. We just really hate texting plain and simple. I would suggest a good old fashioned phone call as a means of normal communication because that's how we roll. I will answer a couple texts from my own wife, but after that just call me because my patience starts to run thin at about the 4th or 5th exchange. NOTHING PERSONAL, it's just annoying at that point. Plus if we are in the middle of something the texts, keep pulling us away from what is going on and that can also be annoying to us. Conversation is best had verbally, I'm sure most guys will agree.

TripleAce · Accepted Answer

I see lol, I do this often I think And sometimes Im not sure why

Just overall, I don't always want to engage in conversation. Because I know if I text back its like opening the door for more texting. Really depends I guess... If its someone Im focused on, then I wouldn't ignore her for long. If its someone thats fun to talk to but I'm not tooo sure about, during the day focus might be directed elsewhere and what seems long to her, seems not so long to me kinda thing.

BUt really it could be a plethora of reasons, at the end of the day. Too long is not the best sign.

How long are we talking about here?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I know this is aimed at guys, but i'm one of the worst cases of a person that either never replies or does so in such a bizarre fashion. I've replied to texts at 3am and accidentally woken people up.
Reasons why include: I don't have my phone on me, it's run out of credit/battery, procrastination, i can hear the text beep noise but i cannot find my phone, i don't know what to say cause you've sent something that's either stupid or doesn't require an answer... There's lots more, but the main thing is that i have a life. And when people text me (often with stupid unnecessary crap) they do so with complete disregard of that fact, they feel their text is so important that i must stop whatever i'm doing, stop my life just to answer them. To those people i say GO F*CK YOURSELF!

DancingWithDragons · Accepted Answer

I don't know about guys, though I'd assume it's for the same reason as why I don't: no one really wants to have to babysit the person they're into with constant texting. The only time I respond immediately after is if I'm so bored out of my skull that I don't mind holding a text convo, lately I've been insanely bored cuz I was on bed rest from after surgery, but normally if I see someone texted me my response will be: look at phone. Notice who it is. Consider whether I actually want to talk to them -does NOT matter how "important" they are. Put phone back either with intent to reply after I'm done with whatever I'm doing, or without intent of contacting them at all. So my reply time is usually between twenty minutes and a couple hours

heavenlyashell · Accepted Answer

My bf is always buzy. And I understand that. When he is with friends, he doesn't text or call, because he doesn't like when his friends do that either. When he is at work, he would send me a message in his break but that's it. When he goes home, he sends me some messages. I don't really mind because we have less arguments based on something said in a text. We like to talk face to face and then tell about our days. Yes I miss him, but it's ok to miss him, cause that makes it even better when we are finally togheter.

Trust me, some guys just don't have their phone with them all the time. And that's a good thing! Don't worry too much about it. Just look at how you two are in person, cause that's all that counts!

bunnyy · Answer

My boyfriend always texts back really fast, always has. He said he didn't care if he came off needy because he is and wanted me to know he was really into me. Truthfully I've become needy too we are a very clingy couple lol I don't know if it's a bad sign exactly but replying right away and wanting to stay in contact a lot is usually a good sign. I kind of feel like guys especially will try to let you know they are into you by texting lots.
It's also very likely though that he's a bit insecure and trying to come off as "cool and aloof" or something haha.

msk3_x · Answer

I am in the same position!!
I have been seeing a guy for nearly 5 months now, we used to text everyday but now it's very rare if we text once a week! He either doesn't reply to me, or does reply and the conversation ends by him not replying a few hours (if that!) later.
I have tried to call it off, but he keeps insisting we keep seeing each other. But like you have been saying in your comments - if a guy is interested and does like you, he should and would make more of an effort, surely?
I did ask this boy I am seeing about it, and he just insisted he hates texting the same 'how are you? What are you doing?' questions everyday. So maybe he finds it more special seeing us/talking to us rarely.

oldanddecrepid · Answer

Certain things should not be texted. If it is quick... like... I am at the mall, where are you? That's fine, but to have full out conversations that really require speech and emotion, it should be either discussed over the phone, FaceTime, or better yet, in person! Once we get to the mall :)

Women tend to forget this sometimes... it's not a bad thing! They just get caught up in the moment. However, it just presents a lot of pitfalls that could earn us guys a one way ticket to the doghouse. Something as simple as a slightly extended pause in these matters could be construed as us not wanting to talk about it. However, the pause may be legitimate.

anabur · Answer

It's different with different guys. One issue is that if we really like you, and don't hide it, you lose interest because we made it too easy.
Another thing: if we start replying right away, we get caught in a situation where *constant* texting becomes normal and expected. Then we're stuck in a situation where you get mad if we don't text 40 times a day, which we really don't want.

Gabe_Legend · Answer

Because we're busy... doing stuff... not looking at our phone. Seriously, I hate my damn phone. I would turn it off if I didn't need to make sure a client didn't email me and need something ASAP.

Don't gauge a guy's interest in your by how quickly he texts back if that's his normal habit. If he texted you a lot at first and has now stopped texting as much or as quickly, that might be cause for concern. Hope that helped.

Klaatu51 · Answer

because i'm on GAG, or play video-games most of the time :-P

good_dog · Answer

I don't have a good phone for texting. It will do it, but it is not easy to press those small letters. I also don't look at my phone that often. It is not that you are being ignored, he just probably hasn't seen it yet. Like me, he probably isn't married to his phone. If you want a conversation immediately, try calling him! Maybe he is busy or driving or something. Give him a break!

Neophyte · Answer

I am 35. I would rather text than sit on the phone, as I feel restricted when I get a call. To me, texting is a great way to communicate, because If I am busy, (this afternoon I was covered in grease under the car) then I can reply as soon as I am done and cleaned up. I cannot tap away on my phone when I cannot even see my skin for all the grease. I paid too much for my iphone to risk that. I wouldn't answer a call that way either. Sometimes I forget to tell my gal that I will be out of pocket, and that results in about 8 texts that escalate to the annoying, final, "Are you mad at me?" To which I finally replied, "Dear, I was working on the car. No, not mad. :)" I think the standard intergalactic wait time for a text response is 30 minutes. But that's in my world: single dad to an active 6 year old boy, full time job, and lots of side work, projects, and housecleaning. It varies from person to person :)

godfatherfan · Answer

I actually was going to post the same question about women. I know I reply quickly but women seem to take their own sweet time. But it comes down to expectations. The nice thing about texting is you can do it when you have the time. as long as there isn't an Expectation of an immediate reply, you can reply 3 hours later if your doing something. so you need to discuss texting protocol with him and set proper expectations...

Mish1991 · Answer

Hey Sweetie! Dont worry at all.. i m in a relation since 3 years :) and i m facing same problem. in start even i was worried like you. but later on i made myself busy.. try to be like him.. if he doesn't text you then he needs space and you enjoy your space :) and then believe me.. when he ll feel that u r enjoying your space he will give you time automatically.. Boy's just love to run behind those things which are running from them.. they love to acheive.. he is into you.. dont worry.. just give him space and show him that you are busy too

Anonymous · Answer

Stop obsessing about him! He will get back to you when he feel ready too. I really don't text the girl that I am seeing much. At one point, I did not text her for a month because I was busy with things, even though, I want to keep seeing her. I like phone calls better because it more fluid than text. Text to me is too robotic and not human. Talking goes quicker and you can get back to what you were doing. Let him text you back, you really do not know what is going on with him right now. I would not obess about the not knowing , and I would focus on the fact that he probably dealing with something , and he is not comfortable in texting people right now. Give it some time, if he does not talk to you after a few weeks than I would call. Calling him would re comfirm if he is AT ALL still interested in you. if does not answer the phone than find another guy.

Anonymous · Answer

My phone isn't very important to me. I could leave it somewhere for the weekend, the battery could go dead, and then three or four days later I might think... hmmm I should probably charge that.

OHGEE · Answer

I completely agree with the most helpful opinion. I also think it goes both ways. Women do this a lot like it is some sort of game to see how desperate the guy is or for her to not appear desperate. I would say that if he actually doesn't mind texting, then thank your fellow females for ruining him in this area.

Acleverusername · Answer

I usually always text my wife back instantly but if I don't I'm playing videogames lol

chrisbigman · Answer

I personally don't like texting too much on my phone, only because my phone doesn't save enough text messages. But you are correct. Guys usually aren't married to their phones. We have other things we are dealing with or thinking about. That doesn't mean we don't like the girl. We just have certain priorities at the time.

DivaPrincess · Answer

I know I'm not a guy but just my two cents. When I get a guy like that I just stop texting him. He is not that into me if he isn't willing to text or call on a regular.

Anonymous · Answer

We take so long because some guys forget, some guys take forever to think of the right thing to type, and finally the guy that is asking for help from another guy friend in understandingg what you just texted him because some guys actually do that because I have helped seven other guys do that. Long story short who freaking knows

Anonymous · Answer

Well unfortunately there is a level of concern about appearing too needy when texting for some guys. Leaving a girl wondering what a guy is up to and not always texting back right away builds interest. Same goes for a girl doing it to a guy.

The most common reasons though for a delay in texting would be thinking what to say back or just simply being busy doing something. Of course the psychological dating ploy above is also used during dating phases as well by some guys

Anonymous · Answer

If you've expressed your feelings and no change, I gotta say he's just not that into you. Not gonna lie, I've been in the opposite position and it was because I was bored and didn't want to talk 24/7. It honestly pushed me away from the guy because I found it annoying/obsessive. (but he was texting me 24/7 and was angry and moody if I didn't text back or said I was busy- yeah, so NOT a keeper yikes lol)

ambertaylor · Answer

Guys are more casual and distracted whereas girls, we over think, we imagine scenarios and get hung up on things. My thoughts on this are, don't make him your priority if you're not his.

Guys, why do you take so long to text back?

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