After I told him he’s not obligated to text me, he hasn’t texted back. Why?

[bear926]

Okay I really hope I don’t sound stupid. So I have this guy friend/whatever (complicated mixed signals relationship). I was texting him and he hadn’t texted back in a while. I know he’s been playing video games so I didn’t really care.

I was in a live video on instagram with my friend and he joined to watch. I texted him after and I joked and said “oh I see how it is”.
And then he was like “I didn’t even see your texts I was too busy gaming”. I told him I wasn’t talking about that but I was just messing around. I don’t think I was getting the joking part across.

I’m overreacting but I just got a little confused why he felt the need to tell me why he didn’t text back. He doesn’t need to. I’m not his girlfriend nor his priority. I told him “you’re not obligated to reply to me i’m sorry. you’re not obligated to tell me why you don’t text back sorry :(“

He didn’t text me back or text me the entire next day. He sent me an image at midnight but then didn’t text me today either. I haven’t responded. I guess it’s a little weird going this long without texting. I’m overreacting I know, no need to tell me. I just wanna know why it took me actually telling him he’s not obligated to text back for him to not respond to me.

[Effably]

In his ears you more or less told him he shouldn't text you. Of course he will assume you do not want to text after that.

As for the explanation, I find that giving one is a way to validate someone. Me taking the extra effort to explain my abscence is akin to saying I value/respect their time.
In his case he also had to worry about what your conclusion "I see how it is" was. And so to set your mind straight and not make you both think that he, likes you friend? I totally see his explanation as logical.

At the risk of being impolite I think you made a little mess. He very wel might like you, but nothing here really says that is more than friendship. Having a friend tell you that you are not wanted is well, unpleasant.

[bear926]

well he texts me almost all the time and even facetimed me all night so this sudden withdrawal is kinda shocking to me. i don’t know how to clarify that we should still continue texting like usual. i don’t want to come off as annoying even though he’s reassured me in the past he talks to me because he wants to…idk.

[Effably]

Just tell him you messed up? That what you meant was that he doesn't have to feel obligated but that you would still like him to?
It is just a miscommunication. Explain your side of things and he'll come around.

[Anonymous]

Why is this such an issue for you? You said "you didn't really care", but it sounds like you do, a lot! And the thing with texting and the problem with it, you can't convey emotion very well. You might have been "joking", but he probably didn't take it that way. And even if he did, him telling you why may have just been simply fact, vs "obligated to tell you why". And he texted you an image, but you didn't respond, so he probably thinks you're not talking to him or ignoring him. Probably why he's stopped. Or thinks you're crazy lol You've already admitted this "relationship" is complicated and I'm just guessing maybe you have feelings? But he doesn't know or doesn't want a relationship maybe?

[spartan55]

So you tell a guy to do something and you wonder why he does it?

[bear926]

i know its so stupid LOL i guess i was expecting him to know i didn’t really mean it but obviously he’s not a mind reader…

[awkward_author]

Maybe he thinks you're upset with him, and you don't want to talk?

[Danny_dan92]

Because he took your words seriously