My husband thinks I'm a whore for having sex and children with him?

[Anonymous]

We have been married 5 years, I'm 40 and he's 30. We just had our 3rd baby. He told me recently that I need to learn to keep my legs closed and stop having children, and stop being eager to have sex with him so much because it makes me a whore. but then he also tells me how much he loves our children and that they are perfect because of e and he is always trying to have sex with me. He also puts me down because I made him wait 2 months to have sex when we first met and he said that I was easy because I didn't make him wait longer. But he tells me all his exes and other girls he's been with had sex with him on the first date and I'm the first that made him wait. I've only been with 2 guys before him and never cheated, he bragged about all the girls he's had and he cheated on me when I was pregnant with baby #2. I'm not a party girl and never have been, I spend every night at home taking care of our children. This is hurtful and confusing, we have always had an active sex life and I thought me wanting to have sex with my husband was a good thing. We are approached the 6 week mark since I've had our son and my husband has been all over me trying for sex, I've told him no and that someone told me to keep my legs closed and I'm taking their advice. Honestly, the thought of touching him, him touching me or doing anything sexual together makes me sick. I'm thinking about filing for divorce, because if we are not able to have a healthy sex life then what's the point of being married? Why would a man talk to a woman like this?

[ScruffyNerfHerder]

Hmm, seems like something is really wrong with him. But I don't much care to figure that out--because whatever the reason, he seems emotionally abusive. Why should you have to put up with that? If you're feeling that way, it's not a good sign.

If you are of the mind to try to save the marriage, seeing a marriage counselor and having him speak to someone about trying to figure out his behavior is an option. But if that doesn't work, or if you aren't up for trying (which would be completely reasonable of you based on the history of your marriage so far), then leaving may be better.

But to your headline question, there is no good reason at all for a man to talk to a woman like that.

[_Atreides]

No man should talk to, or put down, any woman like that.

i'd heard anecdotally that a friend of mine had been criticised by her husband about her weight before and she's tiny (UK 6-8) and it so annoys me that someone can bully someone else like that.

[Songbird686]

I hope you don't find this offensive, but he sounds like a complete asshole. No man should EVER speak to or treat a woman like this. I think it's wise for you to consider divorce or at the very least some counseling. I don't think things will ever get better between the two of you if he thinks this behavior is ok. I know that it's hard to contemplate breaking up your family especially when young children are involved, but think of it this way, do you really want your children growing up believing that this is a healthy relationship? Stay strong and respect yourself. Good luck.

[msinvisible1]

He is an abusive narcissist who only sees things his way. He only loves himself and is a sorry excuse for the title of head of household. You really need to get counseling for your children, yourself, and reevaluate your marriage. He really needs help.

[BellePepper]

What a total and complete jerk. How dare you be a good wife and help contribute to a healthy sex life. :/

Try and get to a counselor to get him to see what a horrible husband he's being.

[Drooogie4]

He's a control obsessed psycho.
Somehow putting you down makes him feel better.
How does that even make sense.. A wife having sex with her husband is a whore?
No. He's a useless, abusive human being. Please get out of there.

[Your_boss960]

He sounds like he's emotionally not stable.

Tell him exactly this, tell him how you feel. Tell him that you're sick of putting up with him and that you're going to file for a divorce.

[Anno_Domini]

He is tremendously emotionally abusive! :(

You really should divorce him, and that's coming from a Catholic... what he's doing is heinous.

[okeydoke]

He sounds like an emotionally abusive husband. If it's as unhealthy as it sounds, considering divorce probably is the right thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Uh, a whore is a woman who has sex promiscuously with multiple different men for money.

Tell him to get his facts straight.

Since you're just having sex with him, you bypass 'slut' and transcend to just being horny, which everyone.

[Anonymous]

Why? Why are you still with him? Why do you keep having children with him?

[Anonymous]

Tell the old man to keep his dick in his pants.