Is my husband using me or is he just selfish?

[Anonymous]

So my husband is 40 and I am 32. I work and he doesn’t. We have kids and lately he comes up with all kinds of business ideas. Well, I usually support all his ideas physically and financially but the latest one I just cannot do due to what he’s asking. I feel like he just asks me for a lot and doesn’t appreciate what I have already done or given him. In a way, he is used to bullying me to get what he wants. He doesn’t care how I feel or if it can hurt me financially if there is risk. He wants what he wants and I know I should support his dreams but it’s like why do I give everything to you while I put in the work. His recent business idea is going to cost A LOT but he doesn’t care. He wants to do it. I don’t want to though because I’ve already done so much and why invest more.

Do you think he’s using me or is he just really selfish? I know people stay because their life is comfortable and I know he is cause he doesn’t have to work and everything is in my name. I want him to work. I was mad af he quit his job but he feels due to how much I make, he doesn’t need to and he’ll take care of the home and kids and that should be enough.

[devilish-cutie]

if you already financed his ideas and it didn't work out nad you dont feel like financing this idea, you should be able to tell him. You need to tell him you wish him to work for the time being anything until he finds what he wants, and that you are not comfortable financially to finance his idea. It is your money after all and he should also respect you opinions, you should meet half way.

[Red_Arrow]

Some couples prefer to have the woman be the breadwinner and the men take care of the home and children. If they both want that, it is fine. But you do not and you have made it clear to him that it is not for you. So he is using you because he is selfish.

[strateguy632]

after the wedding you are "partners" if you love him you want to give.

[Demonatrix]

I think he is in both categories. To be honest with you, you have children they need to be your priority. Don't ever stay in a relationship for the kids sake, you don't want to be teaching them bad habits and behaviour. In the long run they never benefit. Even if there is love between you and your husband you need to make decisions that benefit you and your children.
I'm sorry this is a tough time for you. Be strong

[exitseven]

There are just some people who just will not work a 9 to 5 job. He is looking for an easy way out ant it seems that he has found it. Give him an ultimatum. In 90 days he needs to have a 40 hour a week job or is training for a serious job or you want a divorce. He needs a wakeup call