Why are most people dumb when it comes to space in relationships?

[Finchie40]

First off space is not for relationships period, if you need space from your partner? , there is your answer that you aren’t with the right partner period. I don’t care what anyone says , choosing space because you are upset and angry with your partner , is not an excuse for you to leave the house leaving your partner with a question mark as to where you are going, and what you are up to? if you are that upset with your partner? , go into another room if you need time to yourself. Partners that leave the house are selfish people that only really care about themselves when things don’t go there way , people that need a lot of time away from their partners’ are Clearly up to No Good , you can sugarcoat this as much as you want to , and say my partner and I trust each other. , but sadly you are talking out your ass and and you are a selfish person. Why be in a relationship with someone, that you don’t really want to share things together and experience things together? You clearly just like the convenience of them , but you truly don’t love them , you know how many girls’ I have met when I was on vacation with my friends partying , that were away from their boyfriends and husbands for their so called Girls’ trip? , Do you honestly think those girls’ were being Good? LOL This goes for guys’ as well , that were away from their partners’ for Guys’ trips , All I am saying is don’t have Sucker written on your head , if your partner needs consistent space from you? tell them to take all the space they need , because you will not be waiting for their return. especially if things haven’t been good between you both. A partner that needs consistent time away from you is using you , they don’t really love you. You don’t need space from someone you truly love

[Account]

I fully disagree with you and that is coming from a person who in the past preferred to confront and have an argument for long hours instead of leaving and taking time to collect myself and think things from other perspectives.
When my ego is wounded or when I think that something is unfair, I need time to understand if I misinterpreted and acted on assuming the worst or if my reaction was valid.
For me taking some time to calm down helps me and it brings out a more rational version of myself rather than continuing to argue which would make me even more angry and upset and elevate my mistrust.

[Finchie40]

Having time to yourself is fine , but having to storm out of the house and disappear just because you are upset and angry is sadly immature childish behavior. If you need alone time to calm down , it’s best to just go into another room in the house and keep to yourself until you calm down , and your partner should be mature enough to leave you alone during that time as well , if your partner refuses to give you space and refuses to leave you alone , then yes leave the house , that’s understandable , but when someone just leaves because they are angry and didn’t get their way? , that sadly shows their true colors of who they really are , Selfish. Because they are only thinking about themselves , and they are actually adding more fire to the argument , by leaving a question mark over their partners’ head , as to where they disappeared to. I use to be in a relationship with a girl that would get upset at me over the silliest things and she would leave the house , just because she was so called upset and not getting her way . She would turn her phone off and disappear and not call or
Text me until the next day , I would be worried that maybe something happened to her to the point I was going to call the cops to file a missing person report but I kept my cool and just let it go. The next day she would call me to talk and I would ask her where she disappeared to , she said she went to her friends house and stayed the night , and lied to me about who she stayed with , it was a friend alright , a guy friend. So she was using those arguments as an excuse for her to leave , so I ended up dumping her ass when I found out the truth on where she was disappearing to , and told her to Go Fuck Herself. So whether someone is cheating on you or not , it’s selfish childish behavior to disappear after an argument. When a girl tells
Me she needs space? I tell her take all the space she needs because I will not be waiting

[DishLady]

I sort of disagree with you on the "space" thing because I think anyone in a healthy relationship gets daily space. Don't be crazy about asking for space but also don't be on top of each other 24/7. It's just annoying.

Meanwhile, what you're talking about is "taking a break" -- Ross and Rachael style (from Friends). That doesn't work because of the reason I mentioned in a similar question -- Is it wrong to put a relationship on hold? )

[SotiCoto]

No idea. Why is your first statement so idiotically wrong? Why are you "most people"?

Everyone needs a degree of personal space and privacy. Being in a relationship doesn't change that. A relationship is, first and foremost, cooperation towards mutual benefit. It is not the fusing of two people into one. Nothing can do that. A couple still consists of two individuals with individual needs, and working around that is what makes the relationship work. Not writing off the relationship because being fused at the hip is intolerable.

Long story short... your attitude is completely toxic.

[ProbablyClueless]

In my experience, people throw millions of layers of nuance and subtlety when their own emotions are involved.

In reality, most situations in life really aren't that complicated. Occasionally you'll run into something that is truly complicated, but it's mostly just people making things harder than they need to be.

[Artificial Intelligence]

My aim here is to shed some light on the dynamics of needing space in a relationship. While I get where you're coming from, it's not as black and white. Relationships, my friend, thrive on balance! Yes, joining at the hip might sound romantic, but even the strongest couples need a breather now and then. It's not about not loving enough; it's about loving smart. Imagine, if you will, taking a little 'me time' to recharge, coming back to your partner with even more zest—now that's a movie-worthy reunion! 😏

Needing space doesn't automatically red flag you as a love fugitive. It's more like a mini-vacation for your heart. Night out with the guys? Ladies' spa day? Go for it! It’s not the act of taking space; it’s how you communicate it that's key.

But alright, I hear you on the "sketchy vacation flings" front. Trust is the star player here, without it, the game's a bust. That said, waving goodbye to someone because they need a breather is a bit like throwing out the baby with the bathwater. 💔 Let’s not mix needing personal space with love abandonment, shall we? A little trust, communication, and yes, space, can make the heart grow fonder—or reveal truths we might need to face. Either way, love smarter, not harder!

[Finchie40]

I forgot to me mention that and yes you don’t need to be holding hands at all times , all I am saying is your partner should always be your top priority , you should be more excited to go on vacations with them then going on vacation with your so called friends , a little weekend getaway with your friends is fine as long as it isn’t consistent , if your partner is consistently excluding you and going on trips without you , that’s your answer that they don’t value. You and appreciate you , they are just using you , and stringing you along cuz it’s convenient for them. Me personally will not stay faithful to a girl that is constantly choosing her friends over me and consistently excluding me from going on vacations with her. I see no point on staying in a relationship with someone that needs that much time away from you period. Whether she was being good or not she is not good to the relationship she chose to be in with me. If I was doing that to her , I wouldn’t be surprised if she spread her legs to someone else because I am barely ever there for her and consistently excluding her

[Plugs]

How tall and heavy are u? How do u look

[Plugs]

Spit facts. Lol

[Finchie40]

Inbox me

[IslaTheWitch]

lol...

as an autistic person, I need a considerable amount of time for myself. It doesn't mean I have to go on vacations alone, but it means daily time for my brain to sort out events and emotions.

It happens I leave the house because nature is the most calming space for me. I also run a lot and use physical effort to make my overloaded brain rest. It's not the choice I make, it's a necessity to deal with a daily amount of overstimulation...

Being in a relationship means embracing another person's uniqueness and accepting them as they are... it's the beauty in being together by choice.

[sage2021]

Space vs. staying apart for more than one day is not "space". It's taking enough time apart from the person so you can go and have some fun.

However, when my boyfriend said he needed a little time to think, he would leave the apartment but stay on the premises. He would text me and tell me he was on the premises and will be home soon.

That, to me was ok. It didn't make me mad. I know sometimes guys need some time to "Mull" things over in there minds and think without any distractions, just have their own thoughts. Guys need to do that.

Do you agree?

[Wetdreamz]

Agree completely

[Simslover92]

I totally agree with this. In fact me and my boyfriend often talk about people who say they need to take a break in relationships and we feel that that is the kiss of death for a relationship. Taking a break just leads to one or both parties sleeping with other people and one may come back with a pregnancy which would be devastating to the relationship and kill it. Even if there is no pregnancy involved, once you sleep with other people, it's pretty much a done deal.

[NathanDavis]

aren't you the one who has had a bunch of toxic and failed relationships...

[Finchie40]

Not a bunch , just a few lol

[legman528]

That depends on the individual. How much space and for how long is the question. If you both don't have similar views on that question, there could be problems.

[sheikalana]

A lot of people are not mature enough to be in a committed relationship and expect too much from their partners.

[Siri137]

I'm more interested in relationships in space. How would two astronauts have sex in the weightless environment of the ISS?

[genericname85]

every realtionship needs boundaries that enable enough space for individuality. so if you think that you need no "space" in relationship, you are part of the dumb.

[genericname85]

like not trying to be aggressive or blaming here but humility is a virtue and calling everyone but yourself "stupid" doesn't make you shine in a good light. just saying.

[serious_miss419]

I need space when I’m on my period, I need space when I’m doing mom duties, I need space when I’m at work, I need space when I’m sleeping, I need space if I’m having anxiety, I need space when I damn well want it.

[dustybiker2]

Needing space means you aren't comfortable. Probably means you aren't feeling heard.

[Nikki1989]

I can tell you come from a long line of failed relationships from reading this manure.

[Finchie40]

Pretty much I have lol

[Chazmatazz269]

You will likely benefit from some professional help.

[LazerBean]

Because most people are dumb when it comes to relationships in general

[handsomelad70]

At the beginning, they're so smitten they want to be with that person ALL THE TIME, forgetting everyone needs and requires personal space.

[jahaims]

Most people are dumb in general

[DaBiggestBird]

Or dumb in general

[Plugs]

Facts