how the fuck is a guy even supposed to behave? it appears to me that you can only do it wrong... if you´re nice you end up in the friendzone. if you´re a douche, you´re a sexist asshole. the question is: what do women nowadays even want? they don´t know anymore!
Well this maybe because of being shy... I have never approached a girl before... well that's why I am single!!! But now I am gonna do that... Sometimes I even think I don't look so good that the girl would reject me cause of my looks or something...😐😮
Yeah I've noticed that. I can relate to it though because I used to be pretty shy myself. I guess they don't want to look stupid in front of everyone, so that's why they don't approach; that's my reason.
Its because u are gorgeous! Most guys would be intimidated to even say hi... and fear rejection... also a guy would think such a beautiful female would definitely have a man in her life... and lets say you were in a bar and were talking with a guy (not a bf) thats another sure situation that a guy wouldn't approach you because he would feel inadequate.
It's just the amount of times I've been rejected while approaching girls at clubs, I just don't really see the point. I'm not the type of guy that looks for one night stands, I just like to make new friends and get to know people. But then again, clubbing is not normally my thing. I just try to focus in college most of the time.
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Understandable. Girls can be a hard read. But there are some out there like you and that will value you, don't give up bc of the ignorant rejection,
It's a combo of what the anon poster said about "pervert shaming" and what @pedro28 said. Add to it that some gals seem more unapproachable these days, and it's a wonder how humans got around for this long.
Don't worry man, you're always going to be... the important part is walking up to them, then the rest just happens whether it works out or not! here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTAn-tk2pDA
That is not how it should happen I guess. It is like throwing your arrow into the dark to the target. Girls should give out signs of approval or it would be tough for a guy.
I'm a guy and I don't look for women at bars clubs or parties. why is it that guys always look for women at those three places don't they know that those type women aren't any good.
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You can't say that every woman that goes to the bar etc . to let her hair down for the night is "no good", It could be something as simple as flirting all night... or having a chick you find pretty be your company for the evening,
true that is true but why are guys shy now a days because guys are not like they used to be I guess you could say there are more into these Playstations and playing Call of Duty and I'm playing xbox all the time everything is about technology now nothing is about getting to know each other like in the old days and actually talking to a woman all guys think about nowadays is about just having sex with a woman.
Because women are crazy nowadays. :-P They lash out at me if I directly show any interest and then get mad if I don't show any. I mostly just leave girls alone now; they're not worth the trouble.
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Iv'e seen it. I've been sitting there next to that girl who just got approached and she says something like "ew fuck off". At that moment i feel embarrassed to even be seen with that rude of a person. I yelled at her for it. I never saw the guy again I probably would apologized for my friends behavior. Not all girls are like that, I promise.
Would I approach at a bar, I am thinking hek no! Yes I am afraid of rejection as that is what I get all the time. It feels like in my case there is no girl for me.
Sometimes I am more confident around girls than other times. When I am not confident around girls it is because of how I have been treated in the past.
I would not approach you because of fear of rejection... but like I said... and was trying to say... is that sometimes I do talking to girls a little bit. It depends on how I am feeling at the time. Generally I probably would not approach you because of fear of rejection.
I don't go to a bar to hit on people. I think bars are where you meet the worst people to date. I go to drink talk to friends and watch them painfully try to pick up on a chick...
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Ok that's fair. I do agree they can be sleezy. But you see a cute girl across the bar.. just playing some pool with a friend or even sitting alone. You wouldn't just walk over to meet someone new? Doesn't necessarily mean you need to get a date.
I always try to be empathetic but the problem with me is I think I care about very different things than most people. If someone came up to me when I was already mingling with friends I would immediately feel hostility towards that person for interfering with my time that was spent enjoying it with my established friends and I would want them to just disappear and stop being a disturbance. So I would assume that's how others would feel if I approached them while they were with their friends.
When you're walking on the street minding your own business and random girls tell you you're ugly and to not even look at them. When you sit alone at lunch and you hear the girls at the other table comment on how you look. Yeah confidence isn't exactly that high then
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Sorry that happens to you. Don't let shallow heartless people like that change you. Most Girls eventually get over themselves and grow into women that know how to treat people kindly
Yeah why these days? Lol but some guys just are. I worked at my aunts salon for a while (before I shaved my head lol) and that experience took away all the anxiety, I guess, of approaching a girl.
I probably wouldn't approach. Women are usually guarded when it comes to strange men approaching them, so your not usually received nicely. Most of us have learned this a few times the hard way, I sure have.
I do not go to bars, but I am not afraid of rejection or approaching women. They can't do anything to me. Guys just don't ask girls out like they used too.
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I agree, And good, im happy to see there are still men out there that are going to go after what they want.
Ya, but how do we know you want to be approached in the first place? Not every chick wants to be approached at all hours of the day by all manners of guys.
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Usually if the woman is in the middle of a very extravagant convo with another woman.. lots of arm waving, Or she looks pissed and is walking around like the hulk. Stay away from that. Women always like attention, You won't know if you at least try right?
Do you want me to presuppose that you're a genius, or at least above average, anthropologist before answering this question?
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Haha honestly. I knew some of these answers would rise. What I really didn't expect was how deep this actually went. I really hope a lot of woman can see these guys answers and change things up a bit.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
68Opinion
I think it's "creep shaming"
Like I may find you attractive, but if you don't find me attractive, I'm a creep, and vise versa
so basically I never approach because I always assume she would be creeped out
I've heard that before. It should really stop.
It really should...
why you ask? because feminism!
how the fuck is a guy even supposed to behave? it appears to me that you can only do it wrong...
if you´re nice you end up in the friendzone.
if you´re a douche, you´re a sexist asshole.
the question is: what do women nowadays even want? they don´t know anymore!
Well this maybe because of being shy... I have never approached a girl before... well that's why I am single!!! But now I am gonna do that... Sometimes I even think I don't look so good that the girl would reject me cause of my looks or something...😐😮
Yeah I've noticed that. I can relate to it though because I used to be pretty shy myself. I guess they don't want to look stupid in front of everyone, so that's why they don't approach; that's my reason.
Its because u are gorgeous! Most guys would be intimidated to even say hi... and fear rejection... also a guy would think such a beautiful female would definitely have a man in her life... and lets say you were in a bar and were talking with a guy (not a bf) thats another sure situation that a guy wouldn't approach you because he would feel inadequate.
It's just the amount of times I've been rejected while approaching girls at clubs, I just don't really see the point. I'm not the type of guy that looks for one night stands, I just like to make new friends and get to know people. But then again, clubbing is not normally my thing. I just try to focus in college most of the time.
Understandable. Girls can be a hard read. But there are some out there like you and that will value you, don't give up bc of the ignorant rejection,
It's a combo of what the anon poster said about "pervert shaming" and what @pedro28 said. Add to it that some gals seem more unapproachable these days, and it's a wonder how humans got around for this long.
I admit I'm shy, I'm also working on it.
Don't worry man, you're always going to be... the important part is walking up to them, then the rest just happens whether it works out or not! here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTAn-tk2pDA
Thanks man @pedro28. Neat video (even if one is a Buddhist, which I am).
you're welcome.. hey that's awesome! you're entitle to your own belief.. I just felt compelled to share the good news of jesus with you :)
even buddha taught Loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and a particular form of equanimity which are the four kinds of love.
For sure @pedro28
That is not how it should happen I guess. It is like throwing your arrow into the dark to the target. Girls should give out signs of approval or it would be tough for a guy.
I'm a guy and I don't look for women at bars clubs or parties. why is it that guys always look for women at those three places don't they know that those type women aren't any good.
You can't say that every woman that goes to the bar etc . to let her hair down for the night is "no good", It could be something as simple as flirting all night... or having a chick you find pretty be your company for the evening,
true that is true but why are guys shy now a days because guys are not like they used to be I guess you could say there are more into these Playstations and playing Call of Duty and I'm playing xbox all the time everything is about technology now nothing is about getting to know each other like in the old days and actually talking to a woman all guys think about nowadays is about just having sex with a woman.
Because women are crazy nowadays. :-P They lash out at me if I directly show any interest and then get mad if I don't show any. I mostly just leave girls alone now; they're not worth the trouble.
Iv'e seen it. I've been sitting there next to that girl who just got approached and she says something like "ew fuck off". At that moment i feel embarrassed to even be seen with that rude of a person. I yelled at her for it. I never saw the guy again I probably would apologized for my friends behavior. Not all girls are like that, I promise.
i pick girls up or try to probably more than an average guy.
not about being shy, she's gotta make me interested because it is work so it has to be worth it.
Would I approach at a bar, I am thinking hek no! Yes I am afraid of rejection as that is what I get all the time. It feels like in my case there is no girl for me.
I agree with some of your points but not all of them.
You wouldn't approach me because im not your type or b/c of your fear of rejection?
Sometimes I am more confident around girls than other times. When I am not confident around girls it is because of how I have been treated in the past.
That didn't answer my question though...
I would not approach you because of fear of rejection... but like I said... and was trying to say... is that sometimes I do talking to girls a little bit. It depends on how I am feeling at the time. Generally I probably would not approach you because of fear of rejection.
I don't go to a bar to hit on people. I think bars are where you meet the worst people to date. I go to drink talk to friends and watch them painfully try to pick up on a chick...
Ok that's fair. I do agree they can be sleezy. But you see a cute girl across the bar.. just playing some pool with a friend or even sitting alone. You wouldn't just walk over to meet someone new? Doesn't necessarily mean you need to get a date.
I always try to be empathetic but the problem with me is I think I care about very different things than most people. If someone came up to me when I was already mingling with friends I would immediately feel hostility towards that person for interfering with my time that was spent enjoying it with my established friends and I would want them to just disappear and stop being a disturbance. So I would assume that's how others would feel if I approached them while they were with their friends.
Wow thats a real shitty way to see things
I'm not oblivious to how jaded I am. It's just my experiences that I've witnessed growing up.
When you're walking on the street minding your own business and random girls tell you you're ugly and to not even look at them. When you sit alone at lunch and you hear the girls at the other table comment on how you look. Yeah confidence isn't exactly that high then
Sorry that happens to you. Don't let shallow heartless people like that change you. Most Girls eventually get over themselves and grow into women that know how to treat people kindly
Yeah why these days? Lol but some guys just are. I worked at my aunts salon for a while (before I shaved my head lol) and that experience took away all the anxiety, I guess, of approaching a girl.
I probably wouldn't approach. Women are usually guarded when it comes to strange men approaching them, so your not usually received nicely. Most of us have learned this a few times the hard way, I sure have.
I do not go to bars, but I am not afraid of rejection or approaching women. They can't do anything to me. Guys just don't ask girls out like they used too.
I agree, And good, im happy to see there are still men out there that are going to go after what they want.
Ya, but how do we know you want to be approached in the first place? Not every chick wants to be approached at all hours of the day by all manners of guys.
Usually if the woman is in the middle of a very extravagant convo with another woman.. lots of arm waving, Or she looks pissed and is walking around like the hulk. Stay away from that. Women always like attention, You won't know if you at least try right?
But that covers like 95% of all scenarios!
lol what hulk stomping?
Nah, having conversations with their friends, whether it's in person or on their phone
So if she was just sitting there quietly by herself you'd feel more inclined?
I would, as long as she wasn't busy doing something, I'd feel more inclined.
Do you want me to presuppose that you're a genius, or at least above average, anthropologist before answering this question?
Haha honestly. I knew some of these answers would rise. What I really didn't expect was how deep this actually went. I really hope a lot of woman can see these guys answers and change things up a bit.
If i saw you at a bar you'd be in a taxi back to mine within 5 minutes :)
Challenge accepted!