As a former shy guy, I would say that approaching girls that they are really crushing on seems like a puzzle that they only have one shot for. They feel like there is a specific conversational formula that they must abide by or else they would scare the girl off and never see her again. Like they have to do this when the girl is playing hard to get, we have to do that when there is an awkward silence and so on. It feels as formal as a job interview when we approach girls we like. It took time for me to realize that I was making it harder than it needs to be when I am with a friend of mine who has many female friends. Basically, they are human and there is no real need to be that formal.
We also feel that sometimes we need to have some previous association with each other otherwise, you immediately fail because she does not know who you are and therefore does not want anything to do with you. We feel like we need to have a lot more experience with her than we feel like we currently have. Again, this falls under the human thing. It seems silly I know but the shy guys (at least I was) are really that certain that they would fail and are really hesitant to try to ask girls out. If a girl approached him I think it would immediately erase the doubt. Ask for the number because that is usually how they get used to talking to you.
Personally I am shy. And do I think he will put in massive effort you see will be missed. I once really liked a girl (she was a teacher) and I made her an apple cup with popsicle sticks I cut into thin slices and put together in a lattice style cross hatch pattern to form said tray. I even spelt the word apple on the backside of the tray to have a resting spot on the apple. But when Christmas rolled around I never gave my son the tray. I flubbed it (passed it off that i never did it) and it broke my heart. Taking time to know him/her (eachother) can help but also leads down a trickery of is she/he just friend zoning me. If you want to encourage them to be more open just invite them to coffee or a lunch. And as you leave drop the old "this is a not for work lunch. I wanted to know you better personally." If it is not working or does not feel right do not be afraid to say it either because 99% of us don't want a stalker ex. Especially at the work place.
If your going to follow through w/ the above make sure your ok w/ it. If it feels like it's not a "woman's job to do so" (which I believe every one gets to make that decision) then you may want to lean on the I'll set my sights else where. As it could cause a resentment down the road or feelings of he's not manly which is even more crushing to a shy person.
it's really complicated to date them... because sometimes you have to be the one putting forth more effort into the relationship and it's just no fun :( mine is pretty charismatic however and veryyy social, but it's the social shyness that is prevalent. usually i have to do the "approaching"
Quite tough to judge these kinds of guy either they really like you and can't express or they are playing with you.
There is a guy who seems to be shy in front of me I m really confused does he really likes me or playing with me
Maybe if you didn’t think you were entitled to men doing all the work and risking all the rejection, then maybe just maybe you wouldn’t be having this problem
if you are confident ASK HIM OUT. life is temporary you know.
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effort is most often tied to several factors, the perceived risk, the perceived value, perceived opportunity, the assumed effort, in addition to more nuanced and subtle things such as mood, setting, etc.
there can be a difference between a shy, quiet, introverted, or reserved person... perhaps they don't believe they have anything to offer? perhaps they assume someone like you is taken... perhaps they are anxious about social interaction in general... maybe they find listening is of more value than speech...
i mean, you can wonder this, and you can wonder that... maybe this guy is wondering the same thing... truth is, until one of you sucks it up and takes a chance, nothing will change... are You to shy to approach? better play it safe like him and wait for someone to come to you... if not, take charge of exploring the opportunities in your own life, and quit worrying so much about how much effort someone is willing to put into that first step.. the only relevant effort, is that taken and if you aren't willing to to put in effort, whatever effort you receive is the effort that you deserve...
i hope that perspective is of some use to you...
Just simply take the lead when it comes to the relationship. Just be there for him and you will easily be able to get him to be confident. And when he gets anxious or thinks he's messing up. Just remind him your still right there by his side. And just give him the smile that melts his heart.
Often shy guys are the type though also to already know what they want and looking for. Often its not a matter of giving up trying with them. Its rather smarter just try to meet most of their requirements. Which often times just is simply be able to get them to smile and just be overall joyous.
There are shy guys who would make terrific partners but they don't believe they are attractive or have much to offer. They just need a little encouragement. So if you are crushing on a guy like this, don't keep dropping hints hoping he will pick up on it. Smack him with the clue stick. Ask him to join you for lunch, coffee, a drink, whatever. Or say "Why haven't you asked me out? I would really like that."
I am a a shy guy when it come to approaching girls for a date etc. I d always want to answer this to a girl. The answer is simple. DO THE FIRST MOVE. Most of the shy guys or at least some of them will pretend to ignore u at first (like me) but soon after a while they will text u back or show u signs of interest. I don't know why we personally do that but even if I tried to overcome this I find some hard time there.
And at the end, according to nature laws women are the ones who have to give the ok sign rather than guys. Hope I helped u 😉
Give him a chance at least im typically a shy guy myself when it comes to women and i tend to make a lot of mistakes or approach the wrong girl or approach at the wrong time why cause sometimes girls dont make clear they wanna be approached or dont make it clear if they're interested. not all girls just some and for a shy guy you letting us know you are interested in a big confidence boost and can really help in the initial stages of approach so try throwing him some signals and see where it goes from t
here
Depends, for me the risk of self esteem injury is too great to make any advances romantically. Unless I am informed that the girl is into me. Then I realize I’ve forgotten how flirt naturally because I’ve been so busy being subtle even reclusive, if the girl is emotionally very dear to me. Which is the true pain of shyness, you can develop real feelings for someone who barely knows you exist. And I’m not like an ugly mother fucker either haha. This answer sucks. Anyway, I’d say look elsewhere, some shy guys are actually just fucked up
Just approach him... as u girls said we are both human and guys should not be afraid but some are and will always...
And the society is not making it easy for them, so they will never approach in reality and whike you are waiting too
So A wait B and B wait A... deadlock
So do the fucking approach and it is the end result that counts...
I'm the guy you are talking about. Im a super confident guy but can't for the life of me make it past innocent flirting. I'm into a girl at work and haven't made a move because it could make things awkward. If you want a guy, ask him out. It's less work for us lol
To be alone obvious, it's definitively more easy to speak to a girl if she's alone. (even if she reject me).
If they work together it's hard as you see that person even after rejection and the guy might feel like crap specially if the girl made fun of him.
I think the best way is through interaction as colegues and then friends and probably wait or not to see if he's man enough to make a move 😂😂
I should somehow be cautious with having an relationship at work because of the consequences if that turn into a shit.
With this being said some guys will never act upon it because some various reasons: feeling inadequete to others, bad experiences, other things/plans in his mind.
A shy guy will want to make a lot of effort with you, without knowing how to initiate or not appear awkward. Breaking the ice is generally the hardest part.
A smile works. An exclusive smile gives him the idea that you are, at least, definitely not not interested.
Or... It's 2018 you make the approach.
Well shy guy's will most of the time never ask. The best thing to do is spend time with he. he will start to become more confident with you then he could build up to wanting to ask you out, but you probably have to be one to make it happen even if he wants to be with you really bad but once he notices that you want him he will get closer to you.
A shy guy might still make a big effort to be with you, especially if you are approachable. Shy guys still want girlfriends, and one who is friendly and approachable is going to appear to be a much better (an desirable) prospect than one who is aloof and is clearly not interested.
Unless there’s smiles exchanged between us, I’m not making the first move. It’s too much of a mystery to chance that situation. I’ve only ever had 3 women walk up to me to initiate conversation, and every time it made my day and led to a relationship all 3 times
"Is it true that if a guy's into you he'll make a massive effort with you?" LOL, no.
"What if he's shy?" Exactly
"Or would he want to take his time before massively approaching someone because they work together or something?" Possibly
"What can a more confident and sociable girl do to encourage them?" Oh I don't know, be a confident and sociable girl and ask him out?
"Or should she just set her sights elsewhere?" If you do that, were you ever really into him?
As long as you've given signals to indicate your approachable then realistically you've done your part. If you've given prolonged eye contact, given a smile, said "hey" in passing by, placed yourself in non crowded spaces (not sat with a bunch of girls etc). If you've done these things and he still hasn't approached then he is basically a pussy.
Im a shy guy and also dense as lead. And ill tell you this my current girlfriend asked me out, how well she said she needed to talk to me and then she told me straight to my face she wanted to be my girlfriend. Some guys aren't shy but dense as shit and shy.
I'm a shy guy, and most of the time I will not appoach a girl even if I'm interested in her. I could perhaps take the chance if she was in my group and we were talking already, but would not approach a stranger. You could do the guy a favor and approach him yourself
I'm shy and I will say in my individual case I never make the first move directly. I'll treat her like a normal friend hide my feelings so unless she makes a direct move I will never confess my feekings. Needless to say I was friendzoned a lot in my college years lol.
>>Is it true that if a guy's into you he'll make a massive effort with you?
For the millionth time, no
If a girl is truly confident, she'd ask him out.
If a girl is only confident for a girl, then she'd flirt with words and not give a shit how "obvious" she might look.
If you are into him, just go for it. If not, ignore the case. As a shy man, there is nothing worst than a woman trying to encourage you getting to know some other women.
In our, or at least my head, it sounds like "You are good enough, but not good enough for me."
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