27 never had a girlfriend?

[chefesscofier]

My title says it all.. I am 27 always get rejected when I like someone.. I have never had a girlfriend nor dated anyone.. im smart charming confident.. so I have been told... yet I always strike out.. I have come to believe that I am not ment to be with anyone... else something would have happened up until now... just a few weeks ago I expressed my feelings to this girl I like... we were highly compatible and had a lot of fun together always but then she shot me down a few days ago... saying it will never work and that I annoyed her but when I apologised to her she said not to because I didn't do anything wrong. ... im confused as hell to what it means... but then this was the last straw.. The final time I had dedecided to give love another shot... because I do not have the energy anymore to deal with this as somehow I am the only one who ends up getting hurt in process I might as well just be alone as that would hurt far less than anything else. ... Please someone help me understand how I do that because I really am starting to get depressed again. .. and I have been in the darkest part of my life and don't want to go there again
Yours truly
Hopeless

[PierrotLeFou]

Man don't listen to all the bullshit about "just give it time", "don't worry", blah blah blah... People who usually say that have no clue, do not understand how it is for us, and above all, don't give a damn.

You have to TAKE THE MATTER INTO YOUR OWN HANDS if you wanna see a REAL change.

Brother, I'm only too familiar with what you're saying. I'm almost 27 also, and never had a girlfriend. But because I'm pro-active, and open to change, I feel like I'm getting close, little by little.

There are 3 possible reasons why you don't succeed as of now :
- Wrong behaviour/mindset
- Lack of exposure
- Having too high standards

From what you say it seems more of the first two.

Think of cats and dogs.
Women are like cats. They need a lot of time for their feelings to grow. They won't like you more if you show you like them, often it's the contrary, and it's a natural thing that I'll explain later.
Men are usually like dogs. The feelings come rather fast, and often (especially when lacking options) we're quick to get interested in girls just because THEY show interest in us.

A cat won't give a damn if you go and pet it, it's usually repelled by that behaviour. But when you let the cat come to you and give it just the right amount of attention, which is a little less than what it expects, it will be much more satisfied. Have you never noticed how cats are more attracted to you when you don't give a f*ck? And totally ignore you when you actually go and pet it?
A dog, at the contrary, will usually enjoy being petted all the time, whether it seeks it or not.

You sound like the sentimental kind of guy. Which I've been, and still am sometimes. That's not good for a man. And this is precisely why you feel depressed, brother. Everybody knows women are emotional creatures, they're in tune with their emotions and it's natural for them.

But men are not, usually. I've noticed that the more bored I am of my own life, the more "sentimental" I get. (I'll develop it a bit more...)

[PierrotLeFou]

It is of the UTMOST importance that you get your life so satisfying for yourself, that you come to be emotionally independent of women. You need to realize that your life is an adventure. You're a f*cking hero man, there's probably at least one or a few things that you'd want to realize in your life, having a real impact on the world, that has nothing to do with women. Get (or realize) your true purpose, your mission on earth. The thing that gives meaning to your own life. The thing you would do and be SATISFIED doing even if your balls and dick were cut off, that your face was burned so that no woman would ever be attracted to you. THAT is your mission. A woman (or women) can never be your mission.

Once you find that out, things will start to get brighter and you'll no longer be able to EVER get depressed, as long as you'll be on your mission.

That is one of the most powerfully attractive thing to a woman.

[PierrotLeFou]

About the cat/dog analogy, this is why it's completely useless to ever confess your feelings to a girl. Even if you feel she's highly interested. Confessing feelings, talking about it, caring, nurturing are all feminine stuff, and it's better left off to the women.
Taking charge, action, being pro-active is men's domain. And women are attracted to men.
She seems interested during a date? Keep it fun, light, or get to know her a bit deeper, get her alone somewhere (like your place), and just kiss her at some point. Don't talk about it. Move things forward by your actions. If you get her in bed, don't talk about it. If it goes well and you keep seeing her and being intimate with her afterwards, never ever bring up the topic of a relationship. Like a cat, let HER bring these things up. Even if she says she loves you, you'd gain absolutely nothing by reciprocating. She must always wonder a bit about what you think.

[PierrotLeFou]

Once you're too obvious, there's no doubts, and it's the doubts that keep her interested, that makes her think about you when you're not around.

I've got to go, but I wish you good luck brother, and be proactive, you're obviously aware that you need to change your behaviour, which is good and the first step.
If you can, read "The Way of the superior man" by David Deida, that book changed my life, and I've got a feeling that you need to read it.

Good luck

[chefesscofier]

Thanks man... all of what you said does make a lot more sense now on how the whole situation just changed... I will consider your suggestion completely and hopefully will change it for the better... thank you for typing all that must have taken a while... appreciate it

[PierrotLeFou]

Hey man, it was no problem at all, you can message me privately if you want to talk more. Thanks for MHO

[Joey7993]

You may be coming on too strong and pushing them away, maybe show interest instead of confessing feelings. Know what i mean?

[chefesscofier]

That maybe true... but in all honesty I did show interest for about 6 months... when I noticed I was also receiving the interest That was when I told her.. it went well after for a month or so... we were not dating not in a relationship it was just out there... but then she was like it will not work and I annoyed her but I didn't annoy her but I didn't do anything wrong blah blah blah... hence I am confused as hell

[Joey7993]

Its sounds to me like you scared her off, maybe hold off on the confessing all together until she does.

[chefesscofier]

I would but then in my experience they never do and then its too late... so practically I am stuck with no idea on what to do!

[Anonymous]

have you tried online dating? sounds like you have been a hermit or recluse most of your life, or just keep to yourself a lot

[chefesscofier]

I've been a hermit also I do like to keep to myself but I do go out with friends a lot mostly because they force me to get out... I have tried online dating sites but that to has the same outcome

[Opinion Owner]

which online dating sites have you tried?

[chefesscofier]

I live in a region now where online dating sites have been blocked... but I have tried to get through some local sites which I succeeded in doing... those didn't work out too well... any suggestions? ?

[Opinion Owner]

Plentyoffish, OkCupid

[ArabianPwincess197]

There are plenty who are older than you who haven't either. Don't worry

[moviedude714]

My gut feeling tells me, and I'm probably right, key word being "Probably", is that there are more guys the question askers age than there are girls the question askers age who have never had a relationship with the opposite sex, still a virgin, etc., or maybe men are just more vocal about it than women are, as it make it known publicly more than women do

[ArabianPwincess197]

@moviedude714 - so you are saying girls are shy to admit they are virgins?

[moviedude714]

it is just a guess, either there are more male virgins than female virgins out there, or just men are vocal about it more

[ArabianPwincess197]

@moviedude714 oh right

[moviedude714]

ya when i said guess, i'm saying i could either be right or wrong

[ArabianPwincess197]

@moviedude714 - ok

[chefesscofier]

Your probably right... but I think it is far more easy for a girl to get a guy than a guy to get a girl I todays world hence you don't see too many girls portraying these kind of questions! !

[DarkHumorRUs]

Only 3 years until you're a wizard.
Thanks you for making me feel better about my own situation a little.

[chefesscofier]

I have heard of that rumor tooo... hopefullyit Iis true if not I will be really disappointed! !!

[Bethanycats]

I'd rather be single but it's okay when it's time you'll know the girl.

[chefesscofier]

No offence but you are still far too young... I had the same opinion then... but as you start getting older the questions start to rise in your mind..."is something wrong with me?"... that is whe you reach a stage of war with yourself

[YazanAA]

Perhaps I would be 30 when I get my first and last girlfriend aka my wife

[Anonymous]

That's my exact age too, and I'm still single as well

[chefesscofier]

Have you wondered why?

[Opinion Owner]

Probably because I've been a recluse, hermit for most of my life, never had a large social network of friends, since it seems most people meet their future boyfriend/girlfriend through their social circle, mutual friends, and I never had any luck with online dating either

[chefesscofier]

Probably... well at least you are clear on that... which is good!

[BertMacklinFBI]

trust me, just keep trying.

[chefesscofier]

I have been... but then I am almost off the ledge!!! If you know what I mean

[LonelyLillie13]

your only limited by your standards !

[Sexualchrist]

Give online dating a shot.

[HollywoodGlam]

You will find the one. Just give it time :)

[chefesscofier]

By the way everything is going it doesn't look like so... I have given it time a lot OF IT I just don't know whether I have wasted it or not because it is never coming back.. at least I learned a lot from it!!!