He finds me attractive, why isn't he emotionally available?

[Anonymous]

We used to flirt and tease each other, hang out at parties with one another but it was never anything serious. We never had meaningful conversations and he never seemed like he ever was interested in anything to do with feelings.

If a guy goes to extreme measures to keep his feelings and emotions from you is it because he doesn't want you in his life that way or because he is emotionally distant or something?

I'm not sure if he's only like this with me but he will never talk about how he is feeling. He may mention that he's nervous or angry but if I ask why he'll stop talking to me entirely or get frustrated.

I know he's had his heart broken so is he just protecting himself now or is he trying to keep me away from him emotionally?

Because I know he is interested in me physically, that's why I ask. He's made it clear that he finds me attractive. Makes me wonder if he's only into me for sex or what, I don't know... I'm confused.

I like him by the way.

[Reeses-pieces777]

the thing about guys who AREN'T emotionally available is jsut that-they don't seek a relationship-they seek what they can get in the shortest amount of time and with little effort-so don't let him think you're easy and don't do stuff you might regret and be safe about it.

yeah relationships are a two way thing, if he's not into you and you're into him, he might take advantage of it and you get hurt in the end or if you don't care, then there's no stopping you.

however, girls make the mistake of thinking they can change a guy, and sometimes it's better to realize if a guy won't change himself, chances are he won't change for you.

[AlyssMaddigan]

Wow, back off, seriously. If a guy wants to confess his deepest darkest emotions to you he will, and it will happen all on its own without you probing him.

Listen up: If he does like you, he's not going to show you his soft spot. If he doesn't like you, he's not doing to invest his serious emotions in you. You should just sit tight and keep being the hott female friend in his life.. he'll either eventually open up to you, or just not. Pressuring him is just going to drive him away, and then you can say goodbye friend, and most certainly, goodbye potential love interest.

[just926]

Just a quick response, quickly read through the post, but is it just me or does he sound like he's looking for a hookup? Sounds like he's sexually attracted to you but doesn't want a relationship (maybe right now or maybe with you) regardless, I'd say move on. I've been in a similar situation only I eventually made the mistake of sleeping with the guy, thinking it was more than it was, and haven't heard from him since :/.

[somedude555]

there are some girls that I think are hot and I think are cool as hell, but I don't ask em out because I don't have a "thing" for them. I don't not like them, but theyre just one of the hot, cool girls that I know. not THE girl that I like... now this doesn't mean that they aren't "girlfriend potential" it just means that my attention isn't focused specifically on them at that point in time.

as far as the "feelings thing" goes how far are you trying to delve into his state of being? it can be kinda annoying or uncomfortable for some guys when you get too "touchy feely" or sentimental...

[3rdalbum]

A lot of guys feel like being emotional will show you their weak spot, and that they can be hurt by appearing weak.

Give him time, he'll start opening up.

[bethesda]

Absolutly true

[starrzglo]

I believe guys can be physically attracted to you but not emotionally. I had a guy that I used to hook up with for over a year. I told him I was tired of just hooking up and wanted a relationship. He told me that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Within a month he had a girlfriend. If he doesn't show that he wans to talk to you about things he probably is not interested in you that.

[Anonymous]

A guy can find you physically attractive but have no interest in you as a girlfriend or see you like that. Guys objectify girls all the time. They look at you as a sexual object that is exciting and pleasurable to them but that has nothing to do with emotions or relationships. Think of it as you are a human blowup doll to them. Sad but true. Those are the guys to avoid.

[Mysterious1]

It doesn't sound like he's really looking towards a relationship with you right now. and I would suggest just giving him his space for now.

[hellotokyo]

Are you sure he's not seeing another girl? Sounds like he is, and isn't sure about starting something with you perhaps.