I confessed to my friend that I find him attractive, but now he is ignoring me, why?

[Anonymous]

I confessed to him that I find him attractive, I thought he may like me as well since I sometimes felt he was low key flirting with me, but no, he told me he doesn't like me that way, that he is finally feeling peace after coming out from a painful break up, and that he doesn't like anyone. I told him I only found him attractive, but that I was not in love, and I asked him to not treat me differently now, and he agreed. But the problem is now he is actually treating me different as he is now more distant to me, even tho he told he wouldn't do that. Why the change? Is there still hope for the friendship or I ruined it? What to do now? And what could be going on in his mind?

[Anonymous]

There’s a chance things will be ok. Not guaranteed. But in all honestly like he said he doesn’t like you that way. Imagine being in his shoes. If a friend you had said the same thing to you to which you were not attracted to him. You would feel a little different. I know I would. Because now you’re wondering, ok if I interact w her more am I giving her the impression that I like her as more than friends. There was no pressure on him as far as how to act before he knew your feelings, now there is. I don’t get how it seems like a lot of women low key think men are flirting w them. I’d really like to see what a girl thinks as far as what she considers a man flirting w her. I have female friends at work. I tend to talk to them more, joke around w them more, share personal things w at work that I don’t w others. I laugh w them, joke, text them. I can put my hand on their shoulder in a way that I couldn’t w other women. Not in a creepy manner, but if we’re joking, laughing, it’s nothing. I think women tend to think such things like what I just mentioned are considered flirting. I’ve read a lot of women say he never does that w other women but me. We laugh, we talk about personal things, etc. But that isn’t always the case. It just means sometimes I found a girl I can be buds w who I don’t have to worry about running to HR if I tell a joke that may not be for everyone because I know she will laugh. It’s hard to find women like that these days, who are just “cool.” But to a lot of women they’d consider it flirting when that’s not always the case. Men these days are concerned about being accused of things. It used to be ok at one point to just be chummy w women, didn’t have to be on your toes about being accused of something.

[serious]

Yes even though you told him that you only find him attractive but then you should remember that even love/romance first starts with finding someone attractive and then it moves forward from there although it is not always the case.

Though you made it clear but given that he has had a break up recently he thinks that he does not want anyone else and does not want any possibilities to occur that can possibly proceed towards love/romance and hence he is treating you differently now.

No, I don't think if you never expressed yourself the outcome would have been different

[poochigoochi]

i find that sometimes people say things just for the sake of saying them. when you told him that you find him attractive, he already has an initial thought of the statement, whether it is feeling flattered or discomfort. so no matter what you say after does not really affect his actions. here, it feels like it is an uncomfortable kind of situation, which may be why he is agreeing to what you say to get out of the situation. maybe when he thinks it through, he will realise that he is flattered by it, then he will speak to you again?

otherwise maybe give him some time to process what you said and weigh whether this discomfort is worth more than the friendship. if your friendship is more important to him, then he will start talking to you again. otherwise, it would just be awkward everytime now :")

[Kelley1]

Of course, he is treating you differently. He doesn't want to give you any encouragement. There never was any hope. Actually, there would have been if you had met him when you were a young, sexy, twenty-year-old instead of the hide you are now that years ago lost your bloom as all women do when they hit the wall near age thirty.

[Peridot25]

Are you ok? 😅 Because I don’t think she deserved that.

[Peridot25]

And you don’t know her so don’t you think that was uncalled for?

[JJN2489]

God, the 30 year olds around you must be either hideous, or have stolen men from you. It may be both, actually. I think Kim Kardashian or Jennifer Lopez could take a man or 10 away from your negative arse. You seem like a bunny boiler who after killing her 4th boyfriend, because he realises what a cunt you are and wants to leave you, so you get caught out, and people find out your a serial killer. But because of how charming you are, no one is even surprised. I hope this is not another premonition I'm having. Run boys, run!

[Kelley1]

@Peridot25 I am not inclined to be kind to anyone signing on as "Anonymous." Older women don't like to be reminded that they lost their bloom but they all do and so will I. That is why I am trying to get married while I am young and before my sexual market value drops much more.

At 20 a girl sells it. At 30 she gives it away, and at 40 she buys it. That is how quickly a girl's sexual market value drops.

[Peridot25]

@Kelly1 Yeah I get told that a lot myself, to be honest. But, then again I wasn’t deemed relationship worthy in my teens or 20s. So I pretty much just gave up.

[Peridot25]

@Kelley1 Sorry I spelt your name wrong

[Peridot25]

I’m curious about something, why don’t we teach little girls about this stuff?

[Kelley1]

@Peridot25 Based on your photo, you have very good bilateral symmetry, good teeth, and smooth clear skin. Therefore, I believe you attracted guys in your teens and early twenties. College pom pom girls are 8s so if you were a 7 seeking a 9 guy, other than a fling, it would been hopeless because although guys date down they marry equals.

[Peridot25]

@Kelley1 Actually, my teeth never looked like that. I had bucked teeth and crooked teeth before I got them fixed a couple years ago. So no I didn’t attract any guy. If I did, they did it as a joke or only wanted sex.

[Peridot25]

Guys do not, and never have, liked me.

[Kelley1]

@Peridot25 It is more like you are describing the fate of young men nowadays.

A recent Pew Research study found that among men under 30 years old, over 60 percent are single, almost double that of women in the same age bracket. www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-are-so-many-young-men-single-and-sexless

Researchers from Indiana University say that nearly 1 in 3 U. S. men, ages 18 to 24, reported no sexual activity in the past year. news.iu.edu/.../26924-nearly-1-in-3-young-men-in-the-us-report-having-no

[lightbulb27]

Fear ir shame in him. Yes hope.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s afraid of encouraging your feelings by being nice to you. He really doesn’t like you that way. You need to tell him straight up that you just want to be friends like you always were and you don’t want him to treat you any differently.

[luvstoned4him]

I think he believes you have feelings for him and he doesn't towards you so he thinks now he has to avoid you to prevent any awkwardness between the both of you.

[FreyaRed]

Give him some time then approach him again as friend. It's possible he played just with you like with a toy and I wouldn't consider that as real friendship.

[PhilRod]

Don't worry about. A couple weeks, a friend since childhood finally fucked me in the ass and I finally sucked his cock. I had confessed to him that ever since I saw his cock, I wasn't to suck e. And we made the best love two guys can ever make. And we, I still love women

[spartan55]

You thought things would be the same? Must be your first rodeo.

[OlderAndWiser]

He is being cautious, perhaps overly cautious, but if you leave him alone, he will probably come back around.

[DrPepper12]

Unfortunately I think Led Zeppelin said it best in good times bad times, "when I whispered in her ear I lost another friend..." You can't unring the bell You could only give him space

[Nikki1989]

Some men are weak like that. You probably scared him off.

[Cheerfull009]

You are silly , to tell him such words , now his mind flies in the sky , that he is most attractive man in the world, I think you are ugly, you said him attractive

[LiamJHayden]

Maybe he's now self-conscious whereas before he was more relaxed.

[Anonymous]

You're (30-35) and are asking this question.😆

[dudegreat91]

Not interested in that way in you

[Pterodon]

He doesn’t feel the same

[war_daddy]

it's over